I got out of the Navy in 2008.

I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.

I had more than enough after I was discharged.

After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.

It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.

I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.

I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.

If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.