I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
Pm me brother, I got out in 92 and over 10 years became the last member of my squad left had my last brother call me as he ended his life as he didn’t want to be alone but knew I couldn’t get to him. It took 5 years to get disability 10 years later an dr casually asked if I knew I was diagnosed with ptsd, combative aggressive disorder and night terrors found during a sleep study. By 6 Drs you will feel lonely but you are not we are here more than you know. This place helps my sanity and sometimes I reach out over nothing more than a comment and end up in a private conversation. You will find a home here you will find friends here and people here will help you find the help you need.