I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
Hey brother---I appreciate your post. That takes strength and courage.
My dad was Army so I say sincerely to you... thanks for serving.
I don't know how many face-to-face groups are meeting up at this time, but I know a lot of them are hanging out virtually.
I have met some cool people on meetup.com
Whatever your hobbies are.... skydiving, shooting, or anything at all.... there are meetup groups in your area.
Keep doing what you are doing, which is saying out loud what you're feeling.
Even if you are just sad, pissed off, depressed.... you break the emotions' power once you get it out.
I see it like after a rattlesnake bite... suck out the poison and spit it out.
Spit out the poison, brother. Find things that bring you joy. There ARE people out there that will make you laugh and befriend you.
I wish you the best.