I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
The Bible says to do some pretty fucked up shit tho...
You sure you're not using it as a mirror?
You might think that's an insult, but I could only hope to see myself reflected in the Bible's pages, or better yet, it in me. God had some strict rules for the nation of Israel to abide by while He had His abode with them, but that doesn't change God's holiness and ultimate message of forgiveness and mercy and love, sir. Do you have time for this conversation? Because if you wish to bring up some examples we can talk about it.
I wasn't insulting, more of a compliment on you as a person
“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." -- Isaiah 55
I see what you did there, btw, that's a pretty good zinger heheh. I pray that God will guide your thoughts and bless you. Keep well.