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28
HungNavySeal300Kills 28 points ago +29 / -1

Just run a cart into his ankles, then when you help him up, brace one foot on his nutsack and yank his arms up with full force. Then when he freaks out explain that it was an accident and he's just been set off and is going berserk and you need store employees to sort this out.

13
MacheteSanta 13 points ago +13 / -0

Username checks out. I think.

1
deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
9
HungNavySeal300Kills 9 points ago +9 / -0

People have gotten assault charges for that maneuver. But if you can do it in a way that doesnt show up on security camera, go for it.