3524
Cooking pot goes brrrr (media.patriots.win)
posted ago by LamboLimo ago by LamboLimo +3524 / -0
Comments (121)
sorted by:
You're viewing a single comment thread. View all comments, or full comment thread.
10
rooftoptendie 10 points ago +10 / -0

can confirm its good. I personally wouldn't call it life changing, but Im scandinavian and we don't really do "exotic". We're more likely to judge the tastiness of a food based on how white it is.

mayo > ketchup

sour cream > guacamole

potatoes > corn chips

white rice > brown rice

almond cookies > raisin oatmeal cookies

milk > juice

alfredo > puttanesca

5
ChelseaHubbell 5 points ago +5 / -0

I must be part Scandinavian because the only difference on that list is

sour cream < guacamole

milk < juice

I'm not big into milk unless it's cheese or butter

7
rooftoptendie 7 points ago +7 / -0

so then it would be like

swiss > smoked gouda

mozzarella > colby jack

asagio > parmesan

havarti > cheddar

on the whiteness scale, cream cheese is the king of cheeses.

2
MapleBaconWaffles 2 points ago +2 / -0

I think feta may be whiter. It's mostly academic at that point though.

2
rooftoptendie 2 points ago +2 / -0

that had occurred to me as well. I see you are wise in the ways of the White Foods. You would fit in nicely with us Vikings.

4
deleted 4 points ago +5 / -1
7
rooftoptendie 7 points ago +7 / -0

If I had a choice it would hands down be mayo over ketchup. But sour cream is even better, and if you'll notice, it is whiter than mayo. That's why its better. That's how scandinavian tastebud logic works. A bit disturbing perhaps, but we keep to ourselves.

2
MapleBaconWaffles 2 points ago +2 / -0

But how do you explain blue cheese?

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

welp. you see, bleu cheese in its earliest known form was Gorgonzola, originating in about 950AD in Italy. Or as many Vikings call it: It-Ley

It-Ley is very far away from Norway, and while the It-Leyians were messing with rotted milk and penicillin, the Vikings were experimenting with:

Edible lye concoctions

Making elderberry wine with magic sticks

Wearable bread

So you see the two evolutions of flavor could not be farther from eachother. Now we all know that Vikings are adventurous, up to a certain point... they are not above trying fried rice, going for a walk down a different street than usual, impulse buying a beer helmet, or raiding armed villages buck-ass naked wearing only a fancy hat. But there are limits. There will be no parachute jumping, cliff diving, casual dancing, or poisonous snake wrangling.

So you take the bleu cheese for instance. It is fairly white. So we are already intrigued. But the blue part looks... suspicious. Then when you eat it, the flavor is very sharp. Which is okay, because we eat lye. But it is far too extreme. So what you do is you take that bleu cheese, and smather it with sour cream and mayonnaise until it is tolerably bland and the blue is barely noticeable. And you call it "dressing". Then you can take that "dressing" and smear it all over your vegetables to mask the disturbing vividness of their natural colors, and turn your smorgaasbord plate into a nice undisturbed landscape of white.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

I tried that exactly twice. I fucked it up so bad, I just dropped that ambition altogether. I tried to pass it off on my youngest son...

son: uhhh... what is that?

me: mayo

son: ( -_- )