Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a pot of 6-bean chili and I literally screamed at her and hit the bowl of 6-bean chili out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock that she would use Homel instead of Goya® beans for the chili. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is this happening? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe that she thinks Hormel is better than Goya®. I want a future to believe in. I want mommy to use Goya® and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought she was smarter???? This is so fucked.
Comments (14)
sorted by:
Well Skippy, first things first. We're going to turn you into a proper Trump loving American. First, you get up off that FAT LAZY ASS of yours and break open that stupid pink piggy bank with a fucking hammer and take YOUR money along with whatever you find in the couch cushions and you hoof it down to the corner grocery ON FOOT. You buy what you need as long as it has a GOYA label and some ground beef from AMERICAN cows. You drag your ass back home and make enough chili for EVERYONE. Set the table, clean the kitchen and call the folks in for chili. YOU say grace and give thanks to God for the country you were born into and to the family that raised you. APOLOGIZE to your family for your lack of SELF RESPECT and vow to be a contributing member of the family and to the values that made this country great. Do the dishes and put them away. Tomorrow you will make sure you're REGISTERED to vote in November and get a JOB where you will work your ass off and be referred to as "DELIGHTFUL TO WORK WITH" You will then SHITPOST on TD.WIN each evening with a clear conscience as a man of substance and value.