Thinking about moving to Chicago.
💩 SHITPOST 💩
To open up a funeral home!! Who’s with me??
We’ll have BOGO’s. Buy one get one half off! Call it the Lightfoot Special. More than 2? Mass grave specials! Come on down!
Everybody will be DYING to get in!!
To open up a funeral home!! Who’s with me??
We’ll have BOGO’s. Buy one get one half off! Call it the Lightfoot Special.
More than 2? Mass grave specials! Come on down!
Everybody will be DYING to get in!!
It’s worth a shot.
thanks, Dad
We have the best shit posters folks.
Let me know if you're looking for a partner - I'm willing to give it a stab.
Pre-graffitied grave stones?
FOR FREE! You can get BLM over the whole headstone or you can get your name crossed out with RACIST across the headstone. Quite a deal, dressing headstones up is expensive!
Though it does come at the risk of getting broken, but I think the risk outweighs the value that can be potentially gained personally
We make them out of armored plating, then they can be used for cover during a drive by at the funeral.
I need one for my grandmother. Her name was All Cops Are Bastards BLM F**k 12 ACAB Stolen Land Trump=Hitler.
"Nana", for short.
Ohhh... for sure, I'd also request a pre-broken headstone!! One must be compliant in assimilation, when one moves into such an upstanding neighborhood!
BLM soyboy cucks!
Don't be trying to gentrify this here graveyard.
"30% taller than the competition, affirming to all that your life mattered even more"
Man you'll make a killing
Oh and call it Saint George Floyd Funeral Home.
Flatten the kirb.
You know, if a Republican had said this the media would never, ever have stopped talking about it — but they could not memory-hole that fast enough, could they?
I made a chocolate Angel Food cake the other day. Guess what I called it...
Charles
George?
Flirby?!?
Just make sure you have enough caskets on hand for all of the attendees too!
Charge them cheaper since we didn’t have to haul them to the grave site!!
Dancing Pallbearers have entered the chat
You could do a bulk discount on cremation. The Germans will give you a good deal on an oven that seats twenty.
Bring out your dead!
I'd push for more cremation.
That's a hot idea!
If a bunch of people are killed in your funeral home... finders keepers?
Holy shit!! Thanks for the sticky!! 😋
Your username... the imagery it projects is gut wrenching.
Ppfffftttttt. Imagery? Try being attached to the fucking cow!
Start a new twist, a Viking type sea burial. Team up with Musk to launch flaming tomb caskets into Lake Michigan from Navy Pier. The family gets to watch from the top of the ferris wheel.
Buy 1, get 16 free.
FO FRAY?
Funeral for Lightfoot's hairline? That think is doing the Electric Slide. To the right, to the right. HEAD ASS.
HEAD ASS! APPLY DIRECTLY TO RECTUM! HEAD ASS! APPLY DIRECTLY TO RECTUM! HEAD ASS! APPLY DIRECTLY TO RECTUM! HEAD ASS! APPLY DIRECTLY TO RECTUM!
I was watching this movie Petey Wheatstraw. The most amazing thing happened. The infamous scene where the thugs shoot up the funeral with a machine gun happened when I saw the news about a real funeral being shot up.
The lord works in mysterious ways to say the least.
Open 2 funeral homes, across the street from each other - that way, when the mourners gun each other down, you can just go out front when the shooting stops and drag the corpses inside.
I'll run the bullet proof vest rental concession out front.
What?!?!? Take business away from me?!?! Hell no, man!
This is so awful and I laughed which makes me feel horrible... 🤣
That is the November 4, 2020 hit single going out to all the big boppers in the DNC.
You dumb. Open a funeral home and get the Clinton's to be your sole clientel / revenue stream. More money in it that way.
Black Lives Caskets
...damn I feel a little bad over that one, Haha.
You should sell bullet proof funeral clothing in a side store. You would literally not make a killing.
Actually a good idea lol
This business is going to be yuuuuge!
Make sure to install bulletproof windows!
BRING OUT YER DEAD
"I'm not dead yet I feel fine!"
I live here now unfortunately.
Wisconsin isn't far away. Just saying...
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, cheeeeeese.
There are a lot of patriots here. But I live in a mostly polish neighborhood so that might have something to do with it, my old landlord just comes up to me out of no where “you are conservative right? I love Trump” lol it was awesome.
Sorry, not for long. Better get out ASAP.
We have the best entrepreneurs, don't we folks?
It would be funny if it wasn’t so fucking sad. A funeral was just attacked and a bunch of the people were shot. The funeral was for someone who was shot to death.
Damn, that's dark. You could also do some business with planned parenthood and infant organ harvesting.
Put a Cadillac hood ornament on the front. That's how you know the deceased was "makin' it"...
Property values dropping, burial plots are cheaper than ever.
I can't even feel bad for these people, they vote for these corrupt, inept faggots to office time after time. Enjoy your warzone.
I'd call it Floyd's Funerals, and advertise it as the place where everyone gets a gold casket.
Say hi to Lightfoot for me:
https://thedonald.win/p/GIutRLNo/
You know you will get paid as the taxpayers will foot the bill.
Our family is originally from Chicago, and it all makes me very sad.
With you pede.
Your going to be up against a lot of stiff competition...
Used gun store. For the bargain hunters.
Groupons! Bury 16 people, save 30%.
Groupon baby!
Buy one funeral at regular price all the drive by killings are 25% off.
2 things recession proof: sex and death.
You're halfway to owning an empire! ;)
Id rathet set up a clinic that specializes in gunshout wounds. These shooters are erratic as fuck and never hit the target.
The brand of people needing your services are the same ones who want rent cancelled and reparations, so I doubt they could pay the bill.
I’ll just label them Covid-19 deaths! Have the gobment pay!
Funeral home business is booming in the Windy City! They’re traditionalists there: none of this heathen cremation stuff in South Chicago.
"TrUmP SuPoRTer CaLLs foR MAss GraVes huRR DurR" - The Media, probably
Come to Chicago for the sights, stay because you ded.
I heard some cities are allowing their stores to offer 100% off all you can carry. No masks required either. Open hours are midnight to 4am.
Does the new family take over the funeral after butchering the previous family in the parking lot? If I choose to use this package can we reuse the items the previous (now deceased) funeral goers were using? Or do I need to pay for all new flowers, food, etc?
Tippy top Kek
The local landfill is quite sufficient for gangbangers.
Brilliant Business idea, Funerals must be booked solid!
Have a BLM special, %50 off for those precious black lives who cant stop killing each other over a wrong look or $20 weed deal gone bad, %50 off but remember this is a quantity deal!
Chicago is 3 hours away form where I live in Indiana and I want to move....farther away!!!!
I was thinking about opening up a car dealership that only sells Minivans. Anyone with me?
Kek