While I have/want all the modern life luxuries (space, temp control, locks, internet....etc) I think we have made ourselves too comfortable. In the past 25 years we’ve completely eliminated the NEED for FAITH IN GOD! I fear we are in for a stripping, of sorts. Luckily, I TRUST in God to lead us Home. ✝️
I build and fix things to get closer to God. I feel it gives me just the faintest hint at what he feels for us when I create something I find valuable and useful.
It is sad to watch people slave away to pay off money they already borrowed and spent years ago. This is why I've been quietly building my business off of nothing but pocket cash over the course of months. No debt for me no thank you!
I did this to my home. It wouldnt sell because the owner spent all his money on the house, and left the yard covered in trees. I got it cheap! Took me 6mnths to get it looking good. Then my property taxes went up 100k.
No more than 4% prop tax increase a year allowed as long as you still own your home, and only if value climbs that much in last year.
And, if value plunges like in our crash, it can be temp dropped until value recovers to old tax level...plus 4% more for each year since, so they get catch up if it shoots up say year 5 of a downturn. Still...
Its work but it is a tad easier than a lot of people think. Start with your yard shape drawn on a piece of paper, look at pictures, and start from the ground up. Look at or mark down where the sun hits and at what times. Google plants for your growth zone. Take the amount of sun into consideration and move things around. Remember that it will take to year 3 to look close to the pictures however. Year 1 and 2 the plants have to establish.
Some of them are extremely graphic, but others are not graphic at all. Romance novels are just like movies: They run the gamut from G-rated to XXX-rated. You just have to know what you're buying.
Not so, research has shown that women who read romance have happier marriages and better sex lives with their husbands. Women's romance has themes of happy ever after with a husband. There is fringe kinky strange stuff, but few women read it, 50 Shades excepted.
That's exactly right. 50 Shades of Grey is not at all a typical romance novel. It's erotica, which is a cute word for "porn aimed at women."
Many, many romance novels are G-rated and wholesome. The couple always ends up married/staying together and looking forward to being a family. There's something for everyone.
50 shades normalizes BDSM culture. Choking has become so normalized that defense attorneys are regularly using the "She wanted it rough" defense. Incidentally, some women do and therein lies your future jail cell. It doesn't take much to die from strangulation. Stay away from deviant behaviour pedes. It does not end well.
Watched the movies (yes, all 3) with my based wife and actually, the story ends with them living a relatively traditional, albeit kinky, MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE complete with a kid on the way. That's why it was such a huge success with the ladies. Not recommending it as cinema or literature; just saying on a values level, it wasn't nearly as evil as, say, ANYTHING on Netflix or HBO - which basically tells you marriage is awful and having kids is even worse.
I guess for some. I'm all about the happy ending. I read a bunch of clean/christian romances and hubby can't wait for me to finish a book (if you get what I mean). A happy ending makes me think the world is right again. If I am in a dark headspace (which has been pretty common this year) a good romance/action novel with a happy ending helps me to remember that God wins in the end.
My marriage is our happy ending. We've been through a crap tonne and we've always moved forward in the same direction.
I have heard that some women expect their husbands to be the knight in shining armour and they are dissatisfied after reading a romance. But I guess that is no the way I think and possibly not like others think.
However that said, I know there are things that if I stopped would make our marriage better. So I will take this post as a reminder to stop those things.
1000%. Social media and the "app" format seriously ruined open discussion on the internet. Usenet and the discussion forums of old fostered a more intellectual place for discussion, compared to the "what I ate for dinner today" posts on facebook.
Haha I was just busting your balls (sorry to assume your gender). Life is all about moderation brotha (unless you’re a democrat in which case you can make terrible decisions with no consequences).
I know that's the theory and I believe it but it's also odd to me. I don't think I ever go back and look to see how many points my comments are getting. I don't really care. I sometimes do see if someone responds to me but ultimately I get no rush out of it.
My teen made his grade goal, so we let him have Snapchat. It is literally (ha! Can you tell I live with a teen?) the stupidest thing. He “snaps” his friends with random pics from whatever his phone is pointing at. Blurry rug 👍 hair👍 Sofa arm👍 I cannot believe how insane it is.
I circled back to re-read the tranny post once it was all played out at the end of the day... and by the time I got to the bottom I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Pure malarkey and salt. That was an awesome thread.
Yeah. Thots always existed, but now they're no longer limited by their physical friend network. Unlimited attention from complete strangers all over the world. How can real men compete?
I am so tired of listening to women tell each other how strong and amazing they are. Just fuck off bitches, you ain't shit and the proof is that you need all that ass kissing. Bitches go out and get a makeover and then go on Facebook and say, shit I had to rush out the door and barely had time to do makeup this morning. "Oh you look amazing." It's so fucking pathetic.
Woman here and honestly I agree 500%. "You're so strong you don't need anyone's help, go get em girl! (that's why I'm giving you all these compliments even though I know nothing about you so you can try to use the internet to cope with your crippling anxiety and depression in real life)."
I'm all for people just being genuinely good to each other, but "women empowering women" has the most bassackwards reasoning behind it.
The worst are the posts where people write 1,000 word essays about their struggles, and fill their posts with #hashtags about #strength and #selflove. If they're so stricken with grief and pain, how can they remember to add hashtags and all that crap?
Doing it right, brother. Got married as a 34 yo virgin (by design, not lack of opportunity...) and have ZERO regrets about it. Have a fantastic sex life with my wife that would make most men jealous.
It’s almost as if this is how things were designed to work... now, I wonder where we could find such instruction about chastity and faithfulness...?
32 years married here, hubby was religious and lived his faith, so a virgin when we married. I was a gullible agnostic and no virgin. He is better than all the others combined and we still have a very active sex life. I didn't need to check either, what is between the ears is the most important thing, although we has ripped and is still very fit LOL. I seriously have the best husband ever.
My god daughter graduated last year, hyper liberal small city, many hundreds of kids at her public HS of 5 or 6 in city.
That summer she had a number of heart to heart convos with quite a few girlfriends who finally felt free of the cliques and pressures- turns out only she and one other had ACTUALLY been sexually active.
The boyfriends or dates routinely lied about the other girls putting out and had vivid anime imaginations, yet social "norms" meant denying it even to close friends or getting mad was the wrong take. Smh.
Her little brother just finished sophmore year, joined football and upgraded his friends, developed social skills and grew into his features- and is actively avoiding dating or talking about female classmates after being privy to his sister's revelations.
And in socio cultural studies Gen Z is one of the least sexually active US groups since the 1910s!
Don't let the false image of past gens fool you, the Roaring 20s were completely lit with freedom to run wild, the 30s were filled with illicit hangouts and sketch behavior and back alley abortionists or year long visits to a distant "aunt" with tons of abandoned newborns adopted, the war years were full of rushed marriages before sent to fight "just in case", the 50s and 60s had more late teen weddings with "miracle" 7 month first babies than not.
Then PP and birth control and womens lib with ease of good jobs and welfare for babies born out of wedlock hit... and what used to be covered up came out into the open and parents couldn't force a marriage as easily. Ironically, the more socially acceptable it was the less sex and freedom was valued. A couple decades of still settling down and starting families before too long happened, for many but some not.
Then the 90s hit. Money and status became everything, power and influence and looking good the only goals of too many- and that impossible pinnacle to reach for most fueled the party drugs and random sex to feel something boom.
And the reactive punk grunge rejection of them, and widespread depression and medicating of adults as well as youth since reality sucked compared to the glam images and edgy success cases.
Cynicism took hold in the youngest adult cohorts in the 2000s, nobody respected anything or anyone, no one trusted, assumptions were made about everyone and choices based on wanting to not be taken advantage of first- users and losers, hoes and fuckboys, abound. Disconnect from personal responsibility in favor of pop culture idols or Causes. Disfunction is a virtue.
Gen Z is aggressively reacting to that whole pervasive Millennial vibe by taking personal responsibility, hyper sensible and realistic. And apparently deciding in many cohorts to go slow on sexual activity. Not all, there will always be subsets or groupings that roll different than averages, but more than not.
And there is the main issue. When you can pick and choose, you can get whatever male you want. Women in the US can get whoever they want when they are young, then they hit the wall and lose all of that. It results in a bunch of broken, unmarried men and women, turning to porn, alcohol, and drugs. As a younger lad, porn is something that I've stayed far away from. Can slip down a slippery slope into some really bad stuff.
And wives need to stop acting like they have it harder than the husbands. Especially when kids are involved.
Stay at home mom? Yes, tough. Dad who has to go to work and support that family unit, who then won't get to see his child(ren) as much and sees photos of child(ren)'s first moments? Just as tough.
Different but equal. Love each other for all you bring and all you help with.
So true, I am a housewife and know I have it good so I try to make life as easy as possible for my husband. I pretty much take care of everything, most repairs, yard, house, home cooked food, finances, you name it. When he used to work crazy hours I repaired the plumbing, but now I can afford to hire someone. I believe it is a profession and we should treat it that way. I am so annoyed with women who think playing with the kids all day exempts them from chores. Ignore those kids and get some work done. I think every woman should be self supporting before marriage so they can appreciate how hard working is and know that every job has some aspect just as tedious as cleaning toilets.
For my wife and I, it really came down to tasks that one liked or didn't mind doing and the other hated. We both worked and brought in income. I cleaned the house regularly but we did our own laundry. She did most of the stuff for our child like running around to different events, school and after-school activities. I maintained the cars, the house and yard. She did the groceries and cooked. I cleaned the kitchen. Over the years, it just molded into that without having any formal agreements and we never had arguments over it.
Wow, nice partnership. I believe whatever division of labor works is good. I have seen some very competent house husbands. Our division is my husband works, used to overwork, and I do everything else. He does maintain my yard equipment for me. I get everything done during the day and weekends and evenings are for relaxing. We have enough money so there is no need to work more. His work was so hard for years that he would come home completely wasted. Doing more was not realistic. Now he works 40 hours a week and helps out more often, especially as I am back in school now.
I am pickier about housework so that also makes it my job. You cannot be picky about how other people do things, that is obnoxious
What I can't stand is when they make it my issue. Oh you know it's hard to have a career and still your husband expect you to cook dinner every night blah blah blah. Bitch we aren't married and I don't give a fuck what you husband thinks and acts like. That is entirely your problem so stop acting like society is victimizing you and stop thinking I care in the least.
I agree, but it depends on how much you put into it. Being a type A housewife is just as hard, but different. I do not believe I should be home and expect my husband to do chores. I had 3 kids under age 4 so it was very hard.
Homeschooled them LOL. Being a chef young and working 24 hour shifts was good preparation. I agree most with your point about jobs being soulless. I remember my husband saying once that supporting us gave his job meaning. My husband is the best.
We have always come out ahead financially with me home because I lower expenses and if I work outside all the money goes to taxes.
No, I was not forced to home school my kids, we enjoyed it. We moved frequently and it gave them continuity. I also was able to help out women who had to work and needed occasional help with their kids. We are all in this together, but without someone home to help with things like teacher inservice days it gets very difficult. I was able to help my community as well. I realize work that is unpaid is not valued in our society, but I also was fully self supporting first and worked as a chef so I am well aware of what different types of work look like and I value the work my husband does.
It is and it's enforced by all 50 states. When you get married, the woman is not marrying you, she's marrying the state. Barring very rare circumstances/luck, the man is on the hook for life. And why not? After all, what is unreasonable about being forced to "maintain the standard of living" the woman was accustomed to? Never mind that she was the one that chose to divorce you, no no, think of the poor woman! Oh my god, imagine if she had to pay all the utility bills for the house you bought and is now hers all on her own! Lost your job? Got a pay cut? Doesn't matter, pay or go to jail! /end rant
Seriously, I wish all married men the best of luck, and a long, happy marriage.
Was it Dave Chappelle who said (?) something like, well I'm accustomed to getting pussy every day so will I be able to maintain that lifestyle? The idea that we demand equality for women and still make the man responsible to maintain a lifestyle means we have just have a new form of inequality and its worse for men so nobody cares.
Shit, when I got divorced my ex was pregnant about 10 months later and my friend told me I needed to go to court and sign papers declaring this was not my kid or the state would be coming after me for child support regardless. Just amazing.
The amount of upvotes the main post has is kinda sad. Its clearly written by a woman and the whipped men are eating it up by blaming themselves solely.
Eh. My very liberal default to the woman in custody State granted a whopping $145/month for both children in support and half of daycare cost for two working parents.
The house we bought together could have easily had a refi, but he wanted to sell instead- it was enough profit I qualified for a replacement home mortgage on just my salary.
He chose to not buy and instead rent with roomies for over a year, then moved out of State- and never paid another dime of child support or that daycare half... or even the travel expenses for his kids to visit when the Court accepted the change from full joint custody since he moved away and thus did not have them every other week. I paid all of it just to take care of my girls and make sure they still saw their dad; the Courts just shrugged and said hire another lawyer and file there we dgaf. I didn't waste my effort.
Oh, and I didn't even recognize other guys existed when married let alone be disloyal or a spendthrift. The divorce was my accidently stumbling over his willful betrayal of my trust and commitment.
Guys need to recognize many women will very gratefully settle down with a truly honest loyal guy who is a decent person and good parent. But not if he assumes she is going to be unfaithful and trash his life or drag him in Court- and then behaves accordingly in conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships.
You often get what you put in- and if you assume the worst outcome you put in with a temporary mindset and bitter doubts, and feed that result.
Im really conflicted on it because I believe in marriage... but once I nearly married someone and it took me EIGHT years to figure out they had a nasty Cluster B Personality disorder... that's the family of related mental disorders which includes Sociopathy, Antisocial, Narcissistic, Borderline... you know all the fucking murderously unstable psychopathic chameleons.
Eight years it took him to finally show that side and become physically abusive and begin to try to mentally torture me... in earnst... like military style sleep deprivation torture and like that. Eight. Years. Something in him flipped like a switch and he went from loving me to HATING me, and I mean hating in a way where someone WANTS you to stay so they can torture you some more. A very sick and twisted kind of hate.
Eight years!!!! For eight years I was with one person, and then suddenly I woke up one day to another much much worse person.
So I get kind of prickly when people are mega-hardline about "no divorce". You'll never get someone who has been a battered wife to agree that all divorce is sin. That's one of the reasons I fundamentally object to Catholicism. At some point, it is cruelty to say that a woman is trapped with the man who may well one day kill her, directly or indirectly, if she can't get out.
Please don't mischaracterize the Catholic Church. Annulments are available for abused spouses. Sorry for your suffering. Daughter is in a similar situation...
Thank you. HOOVERPROOF SURVIVOR, BABY. Prayers for you and your family. May the Lord bless you, fren.
If it was genetic, that could explain why it just switched on one day. I know that faulty genetics can "switch on". I was currently working more with the theory that there is demonic energy in play with whatevers going on. But honestly IDK. Best not to think too much on it, best to just run.
I think there are elements of both. To some extent all of us have bad parts of ourselves and we can choose to encourage them or not. We can step back and ask for help.
My ex-wife had something similar happen. It wasn't exactly like a light switch but she went from being a loving and respectful person to treating me like garbage and trying to fake a domestic violence charge to get the police to force me out of the house and remove me from our daughters life. Luckily she made a mistake and I found out about it before hand was able to protect myself (She ended up getting herself arrested).
I am a Catholic and you are not required to live with a physically abusive husband. But you cannot remarry since marriage is a vow through sickness and health.
GenX was largely the first group to deal with the fallout from how marriage was debased in the 60's. The desires of adults became foremost and the kids suffered for it. GenX were called "latchkey kids" for a reason. But not gonna lie, I'm divorced myself. Didn't cheat but didn't make it work either.
We Xers were sold a bill of goods with sex ed classes telling us we should all be screwing around as everyone is doing it. They told us birth control is effective and how to get abortions without our parents finding out. Looking back I am horrified. I wound up trying their way, seeing the damage, and becoming both religious and more conservative
My first was just over ten years together till I found out the other guys, sometimes looking past the flaws can bite you in the butt, wished I highlighted something’s a little more. Wish you the best, marriages are to be forever, glad you have it.
I was married for 25 years. When she left she literally said, 'That's just life. Get over it." Sorry for believing the promise actually meant something. I mean, what's the point of the vows and the big ceremony if a few years later you just say 'Oh well' and bail?
I know I'm cynical at this point but I've said for many years now, yeah a woman will love me and stay true to me right up until the point that she doesn't and won't. And it's the same for men and in some cases that is legitimate but my point is don't go thinking that someone making a promise to you means jack shit in the long run.
100% this. Feminism set the standards way too high to the point where men can't realistically achieve them. So of course the female is going to be unhappy because she has standards that only exist in fictional romance novels! If you want to see this in action then just go to /r/femaledatingstrategy and read their guides.
This was my ex wife. She read close to 200 of those romance novels a year. I was good to her, I really tried. But nothing was ever good enough. I believe these novels laid out an unreal expectation. Then she fucked my brother, probably another fantasy of a novel.
Found a conservative girl and I honestly couldn't be happier. She's a good strong woman who is kind, loving and cares deeply about me.
No such thing as a bi-Christian. You accept Christ's offer of His life for your sins, or you don't. Not trying to be a jerk, it's just that simple. It's the best deal ever offered and I will never look back. The Prince of Peace and the God of All Comfort.....so good to each one of us. His Love for us is unfathomable.
I read them and I am very happy with my husband. There was more to it. Some women just cannot be pleased no matter how hard you try, there are men like that too. Personality and character defect
Thanks, I have a much better life now. I own a farm and dogs and have a wonderful girl who I'm marrying in the fall and we want to start having kids. What a difference 3 years can make.
Sometimes that "being unhappy" leads to cheating. Basically, what happened to me after 24 years. never abused her, never laid a finger on her. Supported her in a stable, but BORING job so we could have a nice place to live, food and support 3 kids while she jumped job to job looking for the right one. Then out of the blue she says she needs her "independent confidence". Come to find out she cheated on me. Why? because she was unhappy.
It's not really a lie; both are true. There are many couples out there who shouldn't have married one another and made a bad or incomplete major life decision. The more time goes on the more that rot will take hold. Pretending there's happiness to be found there doesn't solve any problem, just like cheating won't solve anything.
If both people commit themselves to being good Christians instead of themselves and their own ego then happiness and more importantly mutual respect will be found.
Because society has changed to such a point, intentionally, to frame it as women are perfect and can never do wrong. Hell, legally they can't as women do not get as harsh sentences as men for the exact same crime, in some cases even getting the sentence commuted.
We used to understand that men and women are different, we think differently and have different value sets due to reproductive priorities. When that knowledge was intentionally suppressed everything went wrong because we stopped understanding something that allowed us to build societies even if it meant half the population didn't always get literally everything they demanded.
And I can guess why most are unhappy. They want a bad boy but if you act bad they don't like it. So you act like a good boy and you bore them quickly. It's sort of like the whole virgin/slut idea. Unrealistic expectations.
You have a point. I have had women give me a hard time about me encouraging my husband's motorcycle habit. We met rock climbing and I was not about to neuter him by demanding he stop doing the things that attracted me in the first place. My husband is just right, soft and tame on the surface and edgy underneath. If girls were not idiots he would never have been still single when I met him. 32 years later I can tell people envy me my husband, but what they don't see is that we have both worked hard at our marriage over the years. We are partners.
I dont want a ban on porn. But I'm forced to believe that rampant and available pornography is part of the reason there's such a strong demoralization problem with men today.
(The flip side is the horrible horrible divorce laws that any sensible man would stay far far away from. Making marriage a losing proposition based on potential for ruin. Would you jump out of a plane if you knew 2/3 of parachutes dont open? But thats beside my point)
It used to be if you wanted to get your rocks off you needed a wife. How do you get a wife? You have to build something, create something, fight valiantly or stand up and be courageous. Do something meaningful to impress them first. The side effect is that determination and ethic is organically passed down to your children. How did mom and dad meet? Dad built a bridge across the Mediterranean that's all. Now Johnny knows what he needs to do when he's looking for a girl later on. And down it goes.
That barrier for entry to sexuality is gone because you can type in a url and get the same dopamine mix. At a high enough frequency to dull its impact and completely hollowed of any benefit except for a few muscles in your arm. And as a consequence, men dont create anything. Men stopped building. The world is full so theres nowhhere left to conquer. We won everything and in the process defeated ourselves
I ran across a video the other day of a porn editor sharing secrets to their demoralizing and trans efforts. Many porn videos involve trans women and do not get labeled as such. Up and coming porn stars born male will not be shared publically. It made you stop watching porn.
Don’t forget how hard they go after children to get them addicted before they can learn to control themselves. Don’t give kids cellphones people. It’s not worth their ruination.
Dude I can't tell you how much soft core kiddie porn I am seeing on Netlifx these days. Why do I want to watch 10 minutes of teenagers getting it on? It does nothing for the story and if made something like that I'd be in jail.
They push cuck and interracial porn so hard on these sites. It's not like it's something I search for or watch from suggestion. But it's all over the damn place.
Hell there are people that fill their hands up with shit and fuck that. Humans and Bonobos are just perverts and you will find people into everything you can imagine.
They know that programming works. They are trying to inspire/force a cultural change, just like TV has done. Ever wonder why you can actually see a list of all the 'action' movies on Netflix or Amazon? They keep showing you stuff they SAY is popular or that YOU WILL LIKE. Wrong. They focus on the propaganda they are using to program you. Quit watching TV/streaming services for 30 days and you will feel SO MUCH BETTER.
Thanks for sharing. The programming of fetishes is what I need to know more about. I think everyone could benefit from learning the magik of porn. It would scare them.
Thanks for sharing. The programming of fetishes is what I need to know more about. I think everyone could benefit from learning the magik of porn. It would scare them.
I can't understand the fetishizing of black men. I just don't get it and what's more, why do they always have to smear oil all over a woman's ass. Fucking ridiculous. And I thought we were supposed to be against racial privilege so shouldn't these black men be refusing these jobs lol?
Which is pretty whack- porn is meh to a turn off to me, and the less realistic or strange the faster I am actively avoiding it. In other words, 99.9% of it!
I may not have much direct exposure for my age, but enough and diverse too to answer the question as to the other irl.
My first serious boyfriend was asian and spanish and my first husband asian- I now know both were generously proportioned vs average, and enthusiastic.
Second husband white and native, somewhat lacking unless very worked up but spent endless effort to good results.
I have dated a few guys seriously- maybe my experiences were unusual, but of the 4 guys outside my married life I've ever been intimate with all were sharply more generous sized than what I am told is average, and across ethnicities- and I decided to become intimate long before I had any idea what was under their jeans as it were.
But by far the most persistent, passionate, skilled, enthusiastic, and very physically gifted as well as appealing in appearance and build out of a good lot is Puerto Rican. Charm, confidence, effort made, trust given and kept confidences. And showed major appreciation of everything from a cute bra to helping buy sheets to in bed to parenting insights. The first part can suck you in, the last will make him irresistably attractive.
And I have fended off many more I thought were just a friend to the point I was aware of their "assets" and methods used to try and seduce. I can say the black guys took it way better and with humor than white or middle eastern guys who flipped out obssessively when told no, and latino men simply keep trying every time you run into them again like rejection is a game. Asian guys just shut down and poof.
And a ton of female confidences fill in the sample set widely as well.
Only one woman encountered a larger than average black, and he apparently couldn't er perform.
Sex drive appears about the same averages and variables across most ethnicities based on their personal experiences and other stories.
Guys losing interest in regular sex after moving in was a running theme though.
But I will honestly say there seems to be some truth to the latino machismo being an overdose of testosterone crossed with confidence in their abilities. Almost no female who got involved had complaints, and many would forgive much to keep them in their bed.
Size is absurdly diverse and rarely tied to ethnicity or even build- often women were surprised both good and bad that way.
Performance is often a combination of stamina and confidence with a healthy interest in mutual pleasure- not size- and only a few women seem to have physical interior builds that need particularly large or smaller to be satisfied. Personal cleanliness ranked WAY above skills too btw.
Porn is so thoroughly fantasy on male size and actions that I wonder if it designed to demoralize most guys rather than embolden them...
Disagree strongly. Men are shit on all the time, that’s what brings them down. Young boys are generally treated as defective little girls and while girls have tons of help programs if their struggling boys have next to nothing. Combine with indoctrination with crap like the evils of Patriarchy and regardless of whether male centric leadership is the right way or not, men receive the message that “male = bad” and that affects their thinking.
Women are messed up the opposite way by being pushed into a toxic, self-centered and self-righteous mindset. They don’t say thank you for a man making them lunch because they think that pampering is expected for them. But wail if asked to do the same because muh’ patriarchy.
Now this does not describe all men and women today. But it’s the major contributor to the original problem stated.
On building things, doing things with your hands is considered lowly work by media and institutions so young don’t look at those hobbies and careers. They also aren’t really exposed to it. Combined with self-confidence issues stemming from reasons already stated they just don’t do anything physical.
On porn, porn has existed since for ever as have sex toys. If anything many young men to at least try real sex after viewing porn. The issue is many women don’t make meeting people attractive. In the most extreme cases you get Men Go Their Own Way where their personal cost/benefit analysis shows women not being worth it.
I didnt say it was the only factor. But its self inflicted, which makes it a little different. Igs a result at least in part from several things you mentioned. Treating boys like defective girls (Hoff Somers right?) And any male virtue being labelled toxic
Between us everything we've mentioned is a new phenomena. Erotica has always existed but its has never been this widely available or as extreme as it is today. It's a battle on multiple fronts.
Thing is, narcotic drugs not being readily available hasn’t stopped their harm. Ergo if porn has always existed but in lower numbers I don’t think its availability today makes it one. I think the issues we have that are new are the bigger factors.
Also, like with single mothers = troubled young men, there’s so many contributing factors that there’s too much data noise IMO to certainly point to one thing as the main cause.
Hm. Perhaps I could redraw it as an excuse to not engage, or a coping mechanism say, rather than a cause of disengagement. To your point, a drug is a drug regardless of how available it is, the consequence is the same.
You have guys like genghis Khan. He's busted as much as any "connoisseur" I reckon. He just made kids while doing it.
I definitely think the scales are tipped against men in ways we arent even ready to acknowledge. Certainly not discuss openly. I dont disagree with a single item you pointed out. It still makes me sick to my stomach and I've followed mens rights personas for well over 10 years now.
Thanks for commenting, you've tempered my pov on this somewhat.
IMO, most men get introduced to porn in their young age because they can't get laid by the normal means. Young women, who naturally get a ton of attention, just go to older guys that are more established in life. So there ends up being a void where young people basically can't get a GF so they turn to porn instead to satisfy their sexual needs. If you look at the percentage of young men (18-22 years old) that watch porn, it is extremely high.
I know this is the reason why I started watching porn in the first place.
I started trying to acquire nudie mags at like 14, because i was a boy going thru puberty. I shouldn't have been having sex then, and wasn't so i needed something to deal with all those hormones. I don't know how big a problem porn is as a concept, i think its the infinite hours of free porn that ruin the mind. One photo of a pinup girl got me a lot of mileage, now i see two ppl hardcore fucking and its like ok but the camera angle could be 10% better let me keep browsing... (i dont have a major porn problem either, i can imagine how much worse it is for many men)
Not to mention that because of birth control, women are easier than they were before. The risk of getting pregnant from sleeping with someone outside of marriage is almost eliminated. Now men don't need to build bridges across the mediterranean, so they don't. And their kids won't either because their parents didn't pass that culture down.
One gender isn't mentally wired to always look for "better" as a survival mechanism. You probably never really grasped why arranged marriages were a thing.
you're ruining your own "argument" here... who's that cheating woman gonna call? oh, right, all those men who "can't" cheat... yet they'll be right over to drop trou when the cheating women call?
oh, and even if that 70% figure is true... how many of those women are divorcing their husbands who cheated?
sorry you don't seem ever to have known a good loyal woman... and with that attitude you probably never will.
I took it to mean to inspire his gender to do better. Not saying that the other gender was perfect. I read it and realized that although porn is not a problem for me, that there are things I can do that will improve our marriage. And because of the way OP framed it, I made a plan to do better.
I've seen similar in my life. Women fantasizing of other relationships leads to social media stalking then communicating then virtual cheating then the real thing.
I feel your pain. But it's not that men aren't the problem. It's that women get almost none of the blame. Never the less there are far too many men that are not taking care of the children they brought into this world.
My father cheated on my mother. They were divorced when I was 8. He provided very little in financial support for his 3 children who are now in their 50's. Of his 5 grandchildren, he met 2 of them once in 30 years.
Some men are a problem but some of us are very much loyal. Once we decide you are for us we will stick by you forever. But again, that's not all of us.
Yep. I'm 49 and can count good friends on one had and I may only see them once every few years. Quality over quantity is definitely how is goes (or should go) the older you get. Trust is really important.
The men in my family are like that. My mom was pretty difficult and my dad was still totally loyal. My husband and boys are loyal. Even my cucked brother was loyal until she kicked him to the curb.
Two problems need to be corrected before we can return to the old methods.
No fault divorces need to be nullified and family courts need to be overhauled.
Men need to act like men. Men need to handle their shit and stop acting like children looking for mommy's (the wife's) approval. 'Happy wife, happy life' is repulsive to women. She will follow your lead if you work on improving yourself and start doing the things you should have been doing all along.
No fault divorces are filed by women 70% of the time. Saying that men need to start acting like men is total bullshit. Plenty of us do. You aren't casting light on anything, I think you are just blaming men because you think they are bad.
I wont share it with someone who will be hostile to the process. I am sure that you will be hostile. There's no need for you to know because it will provide no benefit to you, just anger. Trust me, you are better off not knowing.
.... you're making excuses because you cant provide what you say you can.
You are attacking an anonymous persons character based on literally ONE of their opinions out of thousands.
You even consciously chose to not have an argument you knew you were about to lose because quite literally facts dont support you.
So what you CONSCIOUSLY chose to do was attack their character and attempt to shame them as being lesser than yourself.
When in actuality the fact they're attempting to debate you with facts is proof of their character and you've coincidentally shown your own character by trying to manipulate people reading your interactions by shaming and belittling them.
Im guessing you know all this. You're acting on your inherent uncontrollable nature.
The only thing that motivates feminists today is fuck the white patriarchy. Period. There is no rationale behind why they would accept Islam other than that.
It's actually silly that you even ask that question. I am speaking about a woman's needs. It's not like you get married and then you don't have to try anymore.... that goes both ways. Marriage is hard work and has lots of ups and downs.
Women go looking for attention when they aren't getting it at home. Same goes for men.
Both sides need to stand up and do what needs done.
I've always called out people for #2. I always hear, oh looks like someone has never been married before. So I have to have been married before to be a retard? OK lol.
I've been divorced and the reason she left me was because I was a whiny little simp who let her use me like a doormat. I changed my life, became a better man and am in a 2+ year LTR with a girl who's 14 years younger than me and have a very healthy sexual relationship.
That being said, I'm still not going to marry her for fear of the family courts, and yes, I've told her I'm not going to marry her.
It's odd how some men think they what women want when in fact women just often want a strong man who is interesting and does what he likes. I've considered marrying my girlfriend just so she can get my benefits and money when I die but that's not a really good reason. I'm past the age of having kids so there would never be that mess to deal with but yeah, once was enough for me.
Would also like to add that you don't need to ask forgiveness every time you sin. The bible says Christ's work is finished. It's not dependent on you. The bible says to confess your sins to God, but once you're saved by Christ, your sins are forgiven, past, present, future.
I disagree but I am not a Bible expert. You can always revert to sin after being saved. Being saved again is good practice and asking for forgiveness helps you grow as a Christian. Awareness of sins helps better oneself. Just my opinion.
I am loathe to call myself a Bible expert, but I'm a lifelong Christian and I would consider myself reasonably knowledgeable.
Our salvation does not come from us not sinning. We are not righteous (Rom 3:23). We are unarguably called to repentance (Rom 6:1-2), and I'm of the opinion that if you are truly saved, you will want to turn from sin (Gal 5:24-25), but that doesn't change the fact that we will constantly fail (Rom 7:14-20). We are saved by grace through faith, not of our own doing (Eph 2:8-9). That's the whole beauty of the free gift of salvation. It's a free gift for anyone who believes (John 3:16). Sinners are the ones who need a savior (Mark 2:17). Continuing to sin after you've been saved doesn't mean that you have lost your salvation, rather it further demonstrates your absolute powerlessness against a force that Jesus was able to resist entirely, and is willing to save you from if you just ask.
It is hard especially when you are daily on a college campus during sunny warm weather. I'm not near as religious as I was at that time but back then it was a lot like what you are saying; a constant struggle and constant prayer for repentance and protection.
You need to motivate yourself. Look up the benefits for your body and mental health from porn abstinence. Testosterone levels double after one week of abstinence from masturbation.
Do you not realize there is a difference between looking and lusting and that some people are Christian and are supposed to live by certain rules? Nope, just go right to the pig fucking is what your brain does. Seems like maybe you ought not to be chastising others.
Yeah porn's the problem.. LOL. Or it could be a generation of women who do not know how nor are interested in being a wife. Men are devalued into nothing and what - you gonna try to give me a guilt trip? Trust me man, I'd love to go back to a time when I'd be banging my hot wife before I got to bed and first thing in the morning. Not a lot of those women around. If you got one, that's awesome. Enjoy it because it is RARE.
But overall, men have been made obsolete. So what's the point?
Ok take way our porn, but before you do so, take away all of women's dildos and vibrators. Like seriously the thing that replaced us. Funny how I don't hear the sermons about that.
Keep your porn. Just make sure it's the good stuff. Regular girls really turned on are the hottest. One's that you would be likely - on a good day - to land. And that is what you are most likely to encounter. So you wont have a mismatch between expectations and reality. That's the real danger of getting too deep into porn - Best damn thing could show up on your door but you too stupid too see. So be sure to keep it real and you will be fine.
And social media is far far more destructive. Good Lord. Porn ain't responsible for covid or BLM. But neither one could exist without social media.
BE A REAL MAN
Ha.
If you give a shit about what someone's definition of a real man is, you ain't.
Women needed men back then. Now they don't. And everyone is miserable. Yay.
But I have no problem with the Book. But the Book does not say these things people claim it says when you understand the context of how and why it was said. "Love each other as I have loved you" seems not to be the ultimate commandment after all.
Instead we get "hey look at this narrow interpretation of the Bible. It casts me in a great light because I'm getting steady pussy." Ok....
Pretty much the opposite of what Christ taught but hey, if you are getting steady pussy it must be because Christ favors you.
Bingo. I know 2 couples who divorced because wife put kids over husband then had the gall to complain about lack of love and care. Its like "where the hell were you in the previous 10 years?" Oh thats right, putting all you had into little Suzy while your husband sat on the backburner.
I was lucky enough to nip that in the bud early in my marriage with our first. The moment I noticed my wife was more into our daughter then me, I called her out and took her on a date. Once a week is all it takes, plus you might have to confront the behavior as well, Men, it seems, hate confrontation with their Wives. Its as if they are afraid of them with holding sex as punishment. Well be a fricken man and be head of the house and let her know with love how that isn't going work. (it helps to have a Christian wife)
My rules are no pets, no tattoos. Seeing and ink blotch is an instant turn off. A woman can be super hot, take her coat off revealing a stupid tattoo and I'm just not interested anymore. I guess a little tattoo would not be a deal breaker but the mentality there is suspect to me. You think you are unique but you are a conformist and so you permanently stained yourself with some shitty artwork.
I thought cats were completely useless before I got married, I didn't have a rodent problem-but I swear that cat that came in the wife package became quite a little companion.
It could be very difficult to find a non-tattooed woman now. Completely agree on tats, as in "what the fuck were you thinking?"
Because I want to be #1, not some pet. If you've ever dated a girl who has a cat you would know. Every time you are on the couch trying to make moves that fucking cat is right there in the middle of it and gets all the attention. Dogs lick faces and sleep in beds, no thanks. Cat boxes, oh fuck. There is just so many reasons not to be with a woman with pets IMO. Dogs and cats are fine I guess but I don't want to be forced to be around them all the time especially being allergic.
My wife did a big accomplishment and wanted a tattoo. I was adamant in saying no. Fight fight fight fight fight fight. Finally she wore me down, and got the damn thing. I still hate seeing it.
I've heard too many times from women about how their husbands are "needy." No, your husband simply wants your attention because that's why he married you.
100% This. An honest man has one person he looks forward to talking to and spending time with most: his woman. When her attention isn't reciprocal or she's promiscuous, it often creates a dishonest man. This goes both ways. Remember, men get lonely too, but they just bottle their shit up.
Just talk to your spouse or partner, a simple conversation or activity could really brighten their day up.
I agree, it does not hurt for men to stay fit either. Also fit people have stronger sex drives and sex is very unifying in a marriage. The biggest gift you can give your children is a happy marriage and putting the kids at the center of everything is unhealthy.
Yeah I get so tired of that. Meet a girl, wow she keeps her place nice and clean. That's important to me. Move in together shit is piled all over the place. Wrapping paper from Christmas still in the middle of the room in July. Sweat pants, bathrobe, hair in a towel, "I look cute and soft". No bitch you don't and clean up this fucking mess.
It isn't just the kid vs husband thing. It can be pets as well. I won't date a woman with pets. That thing will be in her lap if she is at home. You will always have that fucking thing in between you and the thing probably licks her mouth and sleeps in her bed too. Fuck no. I've even been told that "well they were with me before you were". OK bitch have fun talking to your cats.
Many women "drop the mask" after a few years into marriage because they fully understand that they've got you by the balls, as it were, thanks to the family court. Even without children divorces are horrible if the woman wants it to be, and many do as they only wanted to be with the man they married for his resources not because they cared about him in any way.
I don't have a big issue with my girlfriend but what you said reminded me of something. When we first got together man she was an animal. She'd do and try anything and blow jobs for hours. Just watching TV, next thing I know I'm getting my third hour long blowjob of the day. It was unreal and I'm 49 so it was a bit much honestly. Now, I can't get her to do shit. She won't even let me put my finger in her mouth because it's degrading. I love her and won't leave her over that but what the fuck? I know she isn't cheating on me but it's always been interesting to me that with women sex has always seemed like a one way street. When I want it bad there is no way I'm getting any. When she wants it I have to turn a garden hose on her to get her off lol.
I see that but don't think it's the case here. I know she still finds me attractive. She says so a lot and is in fact coming over here tomorrow just because she wants to fuck me. I think she was no manipulating me in the beginning. She was married once long ago and it was really bad. After that she had nothing to do with men for decades so it's almost as if I were her first and being in her 40's she decided there were things she had not tried in life ad wanted to. Some of it was a bit surprising to me. Then I think once she'd had her fill, the sex continued but the huge drive to try new things died off. I have had a problem not getting it sometimes when I'm horny but I've just had to learn to say, "You wanna have sex right now?" That was hard for me to do at first because it just isn't sexy but it works with her better. It leaves no doubt and she'll usually go to the bedroom immediately.
Stopped smoking, drinking, drugs, porn all thanks to the Lord. And I was the really hopeless kind of addict. Still working on the over eating thing, but I’m confident I’ll get there because of Him! Thanks for the prayers!
It's funny that a lot of atheists mock Christians, and yet, often, it's only through God that so many can be strong enough to kick the habit (whatever that habit may be).
I think offering a strategy is the key. A fellow pede once commented that the way he succeeded in recovery was kind of lame but very effective- scheduled sex with his wife. Once, twice, three times a week, whatever you absolutely need- make it a priority schedule it and never flake. That way you know you can last until the next occasion. Wives are the solution if men are ready to tackle the problem.
As an unmarried teen who's struggled for years, I've often used "I'll quit when I get a wife" as justification for not learning how to overcome that addiction. I wish a wife could be the solution for me to break free, but I'm nowhere near that.
Thankfully I've slowed my use and have been trying to get closer to God over the years. I don't use casually anymore, I only relapse for a day, maybe. Hoping to get to the point where I don't relapse at all.
My hubs struggled with this addiction starting as a teen, and we didn't meet and marry until nearly 30. So the wife couldn't be part of the solution. He said he had his breakthrough when he started admitting that he wasn't struggling - he was choosing. And he chose what he wanted. He realized he actually was in control of his choice.
Praying for you. We were virgins when we married one another. God pointed me out to him. We are very good for one another. Keep leaning into the Father. He will steer you well - not out of all pain, but He can use the momentum from the storms to slingshot you further into His beautiful plans for your life, and you will be amazed at the view from up there.
I was looking for this response, thanks. You're on point. Conservatives lose when they try to force - or worse - legislate what people do in the privacy of their own homes and bedrooms. It's Big Government and it runs contrary to the conservative principle of small government.
Anyone interested in this fight would do better to crusade after a moral crisis where there is a clear cut victim and (what should be) an illegal act: abortion. Frankly it is quaint to go after pornography with everything else going on in the US today.
You got no reply because that user has very little of value to add. They call themselves Ex-libtard but I really doubt that. It's a strawman festival with that guy.
Hmm last I checked, when I was going up, you have to get one of your Dads or Friends Dads girlie magazines. Or walk down to the Video store or Theater and pay to get it. Now its free, EVERYONE has access to it.
Its not just Pics of Boobs and Bush its all of it, in motion hardcore and nasty. If you can't see the difference in that then you need to reevaluate your idea of what is really the problem. There is no work in getting Porn, in less then 5 seconds you can have a video playing on your Phone...ANYWHERE. That is the problem kids and adults are able to get addicted to this crap younger and faster then ever before from their own bedroom.
I agree with you but still agree that people need to cut back on the porn bigly. It shouldn't be banned because people should be allowed to make a choice. But the more people use it the worse off they are.
Where are you getting the idea that any of us or OP are trying to rob anyone of liberty and pass laws. OP is giving advice and you act like it's why conservatives lost ground to the Marxist left since Regan. That makes no sense.
OK that's fine but all that moralizing happened and here I am, not longer a lefty wanker. I get that people don't like being preached to but lashing out is pretty childish and nobody is trying to make laws to stop that behavior.
Nobody is being a busy body. It;s just a suggestion for men and there is no harm in it. Nobody is suggesting men shit on anybody here
It's fine
But it really isn't and the dangers of it are well known. If you think it's just fine, tell me, would you date a woman who was a porno actor? If you say 'no' then it's not just fine. It is freedom of speech though.
Tyranny. Again, nobody is telling you what you can and can't do or trying to make laws to force you. You are getting advice and for some reason that sends you into a tail spin.
And no study has pointed to negative outcomes of any reproducible value.
Now I think you are just not being honest with us. Regan commissioning 2 studies is meaningless really and you have no data to support saying that it had some specific outcome.
How is this even busy bodying? Did he call for a ban? No. He's just saying true things about a vice that harms your brain.
All porn is unhealthy but the things that modern porn websites are full of are ruinous. Step fantasies, BDSM, group sex and anal are not "healthy and normal" and it's a good thing to point that out.
It's the difference between prohibiting liquor and saying alcoholics are sad and pathetic.
Yeah. I’m not sure porn is a problem for most people. I think it may give younger people the wrong ideas about sex. But I don’t think younger people should be watching it anyway. But that’s a parent’s problem. And I think that’s a much bigger problem than porn.
If I had a wife. Most of these women are beyond repair. My own sisters barely even notice the men around them, all the while complaining about not being able to find a good man. I literally sat my youngest sister down after she whined about being single for too long and listed every guy I knew of who would do anything for her, and she was able to list some critical flaw about each one of them be it being too poor, too nice, not tall enough, not pretty enough, the list went on. And this is before PoundMeeToo, which has made it a life threateningly dangerous thing to even say to a lady "You look very nice today."
Women have a very long list of criteria for men... a man's list of criteria for a woman is: Be hygienic, be decent, don't weigh 400lbs.
These women with high criteria develop a bad attitude, hit their mid 30s and everything starts to go south, then they frantically try to find a man and then wonder "where are all the decent men at?"
It really isnt dangerous tho, chicks dig it. U just need to read body language and her eyes. If shes into u go for it. Its definitely possible to pull pussy waiting in line at dunkin donuts lol. Worked last time for me at least..
JP is bringing more people into the fold than almost any other human right now, to give credit where it is due. His recent absence left a very large hole in the collective spiritual consciousness. I hope he comes back full force with redpills and Bibles to spare.
Well, I'm speaking a little metaphorically. Maybe overboard. Still, I think he's been extremely helpful in giving direction to young people who have been robbed of it, waking up others to the dangers of Communism and Postmodernism. And his Biblical lecture, though it might not get everything (and whose does?) does make a lot of valid points.
I used to listen to a lot of online Rabbis in the years before JP became a sensation, so I had a grounding before I heard him. Still, he's worthwhile, and I read the Gulag Archipelago after hearing him cite it so often, and the postmodernist analysis was an invaluable tool to understanding the present insanity of the Left.
We need a spiritual renewal in America, or we're done. I think JP is a good first step for a lot of people.
Thats fine if “Savior” can only have a religious meaning, but the fact is that not all people who have seen Jordan as a positive influence in their life do so through the lens of religion. So I will leave it at that. Jordan Peterson has been a positive influence to so many, many of whom have turned to their faith as well, that the pressure and spotlight overwhelmed him with anxiety.
I understand your point but suspect you may be missing mine. Fortunately I know my relationship with God already, but for those that don't, it takes a fellow human to help shepherd them into the flock.
The Bible does not just land in your lap and reveal its truth. You need a person to help guide you there. A gateway of sorts. JP is an excellent example of that kind of person.
Tom Leykis had this great bit once, where he said a woman who wants to keep her man can easily do so with a simple 8 words
Long Hair
Stay Thin
Sex Anytime
Shut up
I mean it's a bit for comedy, but its really true beyond just the literal interpretation.
Long Hair is about being feminine, because femininity attracts masculinity and men want to be with women. Feminine qualities are extremely sexy to just about every man you could come across, the same way masculine qualities are sexy to just about every woman you could come across. It's a lot easier to act like a man when you're with someone acting like a woman, but "submissive" has become a dirty word in the era of feminism and the career woman. You'd be surprised just how many girls are into bondage though because it's unarguably a submissive act for her to give herself over to a dominant man who ties her up and has his way with her. Chicks that dig this the most tend to be the ones in high powered careers too, because they almost never get the chance to experience being submissive in her day to day life.
Stay thin is about taking care of yourself and your appearance. Working hard to stay sexy is something that everybody wants their partner to do but is something that a lot of people have trouble actually doing. This isn't just a woman thing, but if a woman wants her man to be muscular and to lift heavy ass weights then the least that she could do is make sure that she doesn't balloon up, contrary to #HealthyAtEverySize and the horrifying recent Calvin Klein ads, it's generally not sexy to be fat. If your partner works hard to stay sexy and you don't, it's disrespectful.
Sex anytime is about men needing physical intimacy and this being both a great and an easy way to make him happy while doing something you both enjoy. I get being tired, being stressed, having to get up early, the kids are being rowdy, whatever excuses people come up with they can be valid. But "not tonight" quickly becomes "next week dear", quickly becomes "I'm just not a sexual person", quickly becomes this poor bastard only getting a pity handy once a year on his birthday. Men are sexual beings, and when a man cares about a woman he wants to experience that closeness and intimacy with a woman as often as he can. Repeated rejections tell us that you don't desire us, and that's about the easiest way to destroy the passion in a relationship that I can think of.
Shut up is about exactly what it sounds like. A man comes home after a tiresome day of dealing with the world, he wants peace and quiet. He wants to relax. If he wants to speak with you he will. You can have a conversation then, but if it isn't something that he needs to know about right away then give him some time to himself. Once he's had his alone time he's going to be a lot happier than he would be if you had started talking his ear off from the moment he walked in the door.
I've never seen a woman who did these things have an unhappy man in a relationship, and I'm sure every man here who has had a long term relationship no matter how it turned out can remember a time at the beginning when their woman did precisely these things. They know damn well what works and what doesn't. Remember that any woman can catch a dick but the trick is to make it to the endzone without fumbling.
If you aren’t trying to maintain your figure and doing everything in your power to stay as attractive as possible for your wife and she isn’t doing the same for you, you’re contributing to the core problem. Never forget that humans are complex and that almost every problem is far deeper than what it seems on the surface. Complacency will kill a marriage.
It’s easy for somebody like me to give up porn. My lady is an absolute fox. I posted her on the 4th and pretty much everybody agreed! I’m tall, very muscular and generally accepted as attractive like her... we have a phenomenal sex life. It’s easy for the intimacy to die when you both let your appearance suffer. Get in shape, folks! Maximize your appearance if you love them! Be the you that they deserve!
speaking of degeneracy - whats with the porn video titles all being about about banging family members / step family members, that must be really fucking kids up
I struggle with temptation and sin every day. That’s why I need the savior, Jesus. Always. And He strengthens me and forgives me when I do stumble (which is a lot, just like every other human to ever lives besides Christ).
Thanks for your posts and sorry for all the sad lost commenters on here. Hubby and I have been through the journey. It's difficult but worth it. Marriages were dropping like flies all around us- we fought through and now we have something very few have. All of the anger, bitterness, and hopelessness many are spouting is because of their sad situations.
It is sad that you need a higher power to look to, to stop yourself from making shitty life choices. Perhaps if you placed your family and self higher on your priorities you would not need to do so.
There is a fundamental flaw in generalized advice to a wide range of people, and it's present in this advice as well. It ignores the individual. Maybe some couples watch porn together as a form of foreplay. Maybe a partner takes longer to reach completion and porn offers a way to start their portion of the race earlier than the other partner needs or can handle.
There are definitely some husband with porn addiction, maybe even many with it. But there are definitely many husbands without any porn addiction, and likely some wives with porn addiction.
This is 100% true. I think it's also true the clearest message conveyed by the post is that unintentionally destructive oversaturation of porn in your life doesn't have to be the norm. It's an encouraging poke of spatial awareness of perceived in a wholesome light. That doesn't negate anything you've said above and I'm glad you added it. Just continuing the balancing of good points in the thread.
it's easy to blame men because they won't get at as mad at you if you say everything is their fault as opposed to how mad women will get if you correctly say that women are at least as fucked up if not more so
Bifurcate the circuit courts into family law and general jurisdiction in the '90s. In family court jurisdiction, the judge and spouse can void almost any legal arrangement regardless of statutory defenses on the basis of judicial equity.
My wife has threatened me with not have kids if Donald Trump wins in 2020. Her words "you can prevent that by not voting for him". Pedes... Someone give me some advice. This woman has change drastically
Ultimatums are a form of control, and that is unloving and unhealthy. I would suggest you get some serious counseling from a Christian source asap before you bring kids into the world with that woman that thinks she can control you.
Be careful with those metal rings boys. I tripped getting off a ladder, the ring hung on a corner and I almost lost a finger. I will never put one on my finger again.
Sometimes it's the only action married guys can get. A whole lot of women have low libidos especially after kids and hormone changes of age. No amount of being caring and loving increases the odds of getting any in these relationships. /R/deadbedrooms was rife with these. Came down to taking care of your needs via porn or other material, cheating, divorce, or be trapped in involuntary celibacy.
That's so sad. These ladies should see their doctors if their libido is off track. Sometimes there is a medical problem, or a medication taken for some other condition has side effects of low libido.
You’re lecturing husbands? Husbands have changed little over the past three generations. Now, how have wives changed? They still want the protectorate (if only in the emotional not the physical) of having a husband but most doesn’t want the flip side of that equation. Can you blame the husbands for feeling neglected?
Women read porn, too. Romance fiction does the same thing to women as visual porn does to men.
My wife watches a lot of HGTV remodeling shows and fantasizes about having a bigger kitchen and master bathroom, than I can currently give her.
Is that sort of like the same thing as porn?
Lol. Can relate.
No, reality tv is some sort of sexual competition. Female crack. I call it pornoball.
While I have/want all the modern life luxuries (space, temp control, locks, internet....etc) I think we have made ourselves too comfortable. In the past 25 years we’ve completely eliminated the NEED for FAITH IN GOD! I fear we are in for a stripping, of sorts. Luckily, I TRUST in God to lead us Home. ✝️
We’ve replaced God to worship the work of our hands. Can tell you first hand it’s empty.
I build and fix things to get closer to God. I feel it gives me just the faintest hint at what he feels for us when I create something I find valuable and useful.
I view the HGTV remodelling shows as fantasy. Fun to watch, but my reality is much different.
Underrated comment.
And add shiplap and/or subway tile. 🤣
LOL, my husband was the one constantly complaining about how cheap I was. He has at times begged me to buy new clothes. Goes both ways
It is sad to watch people slave away to pay off money they already borrowed and spent years ago. This is why I've been quietly building my business off of nothing but pocket cash over the course of months. No debt for me no thank you!
Don't let you memes be dreams, fren. Get all sweaty and dirty. Get down on your hands and knees. Dig in.
That's what frens are for.
I did this to my home. It wouldnt sell because the owner spent all his money on the house, and left the yard covered in trees. I got it cheap! Took me 6mnths to get it looking good. Then my property taxes went up 100k.
WHAT? The amount you are assessed on went up 100k or your taxes went up 100k?
Still that is a d'oh moment.
Ouch!
One of the legacy things CA did right was Prop13:
No more than 4% prop tax increase a year allowed as long as you still own your home, and only if value climbs that much in last year.
And, if value plunges like in our crash, it can be temp dropped until value recovers to old tax level...plus 4% more for each year since, so they get catch up if it shoots up say year 5 of a downturn. Still...
Full chub..
I want a self-cleaning bathroom, kind of like a self cleaning oven. Turn it on, come back later, rinse, and you are done.
Its work but it is a tad easier than a lot of people think. Start with your yard shape drawn on a piece of paper, look at pictures, and start from the ground up. Look at or mark down where the sun hits and at what times. Google plants for your growth zone. Take the amount of sun into consideration and move things around. Remember that it will take to year 3 to look close to the pictures however. Year 1 and 2 the plants have to establish.
Sounds like house porn to me. I'm currently upgrading my wife's walk-in closet, so I'm giving her the house porn good this week.
Some of them are extremely graphic, but others are not graphic at all. Romance novels are just like movies: They run the gamut from G-rated to XXX-rated. You just have to know what you're buying.
Omg, wait, hq were almost sweet preteen books when I read them as a young adult!
Not so, research has shown that women who read romance have happier marriages and better sex lives with their husbands. Women's romance has themes of happy ever after with a husband. There is fringe kinky strange stuff, but few women read it, 50 Shades excepted.
That's exactly right. 50 Shades of Grey is not at all a typical romance novel. It's erotica, which is a cute word for "porn aimed at women."
Many, many romance novels are G-rated and wholesome. The couple always ends up married/staying together and looking forward to being a family. There's something for everyone.
50 shades normalizes BDSM culture. Choking has become so normalized that defense attorneys are regularly using the "She wanted it rough" defense. Incidentally, some women do and therein lies your future jail cell. It doesn't take much to die from strangulation. Stay away from deviant behaviour pedes. It does not end well.
I don't trust any " research" of this kind. It's all fake science
Exactly. Sounds like hot bullshit.
Yeah, I am a male by birth and love the romance novels.
The Selection Series by Kiera Cass is the best!
I will look at those.
Doubt
Yes. To their own detriment.
Watched the movies (yes, all 3) with my based wife and actually, the story ends with them living a relatively traditional, albeit kinky, MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE complete with a kid on the way. That's why it was such a huge success with the ladies. Not recommending it as cinema or literature; just saying on a values level, it wasn't nearly as evil as, say, ANYTHING on Netflix or HBO - which basically tells you marriage is awful and having kids is even worse.
I guess for some. I'm all about the happy ending. I read a bunch of clean/christian romances and hubby can't wait for me to finish a book (if you get what I mean). A happy ending makes me think the world is right again. If I am in a dark headspace (which has been pretty common this year) a good romance/action novel with a happy ending helps me to remember that God wins in the end.
My marriage is our happy ending. We've been through a crap tonne and we've always moved forward in the same direction.
I have heard that some women expect their husbands to be the knight in shining armour and they are dissatisfied after reading a romance. But I guess that is no the way I think and possibly not like others think.
However that said, I know there are things that if I stopped would make our marriage better. So I will take this post as a reminder to stop those things.
Social media like Facebook and Instagram also give women the attention they want. I wouldn’t mind a ban on social media.
Social media has, without a doubt, been one of the worst things to happen to society.
The internet was a better place before smartphones.
1000%. Social media and the "app" format seriously ruined open discussion on the internet. Usenet and the discussion forums of old fostered a more intellectual place for discussion, compared to the "what I ate for dinner today" posts on facebook.
Ironic that you’re posting your criticism of social media on a social media site.
Haha I was just busting your balls (sorry to assume your gender). Life is all about moderation brotha (unless you’re a democrat in which case you can make terrible decisions with no consequences).
Apologize for misgendering? That is foreign to me. Let the reddit go. If she’s a women she’ll correct you. Never apologize haha
He was clearly joking about that
I know that's the theory and I believe it but it's also odd to me. I don't think I ever go back and look to see how many points my comments are getting. I don't really care. I sometimes do see if someone responds to me but ultimately I get no rush out of it.
If you really care about your points, go back to reddit.
My teen made his grade goal, so we let him have Snapchat. It is literally (ha! Can you tell I live with a teen?) the stupidest thing. He “snaps” his friends with random pics from whatever his phone is pointing at. Blurry rug 👍 hair👍 Sofa arm👍 I cannot believe how insane it is.
Snapchat is overwhelmingly used by females. I imagine it's mostly to cheat.
And women
TD is different than Instagram and Facebook. I can't post pics of my thiccccc ass here for clout
We have hotties for Trump posts though, and that tranny was here a couple days ago that fooled a lot of people.
So it does happen here, although posting for clout isn't the primary goal
I circled back to re-read the tranny post once it was all played out at the end of the day... and by the time I got to the bottom I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Pure malarkey and salt. That was an awesome thread.
Link?
By Tranny you mean Michael Obama or Pennsylvania Dept of health secretary “Dr” Levine?
I mean some Asian tranny that posted a pic in a MAGA hat that a bunch of pedes were fawning over
I don't consider anonymous message boards part of it. I specifically mean profile/user centered platforms.
Theres a PERFECT simpsons clip for this that Im too lazy to find.
I blame Instagram for the unfettered outbreak of thottery among 20 somethings.
Yeah. Thots always existed, but now they're no longer limited by their physical friend network. Unlimited attention from complete strangers all over the world. How can real men compete?
It has certainly destroyed a ton of marriages.
Agreed ten billion percent
I am so tired of listening to women tell each other how strong and amazing they are. Just fuck off bitches, you ain't shit and the proof is that you need all that ass kissing. Bitches go out and get a makeover and then go on Facebook and say, shit I had to rush out the door and barely had time to do makeup this morning. "Oh you look amazing." It's so fucking pathetic.
Woman here and honestly I agree 500%. "You're so strong you don't need anyone's help, go get em girl! (that's why I'm giving you all these compliments even though I know nothing about you so you can try to use the internet to cope with your crippling anxiety and depression in real life)."
I'm all for people just being genuinely good to each other, but "women empowering women" has the most bassackwards reasoning behind it.
The worst are the posts where people write 1,000 word essays about their struggles, and fill their posts with #hashtags about #strength and #selflove. If they're so stricken with grief and pain, how can they remember to add hashtags and all that crap?
Seriously, Facebook is massively poisonous. Far more poisonous than porn right now.
The only porn I look at on Instagram is food porn.
So like women with whipped cream on their tits?
Can you elaborate?
(((globalists)))
Would that be the CCP?
My moneys on ballsack eyes
Soros?
Ya, I'm feeling a bit of the Gillette vibe from OP's post.
worst commercial ever. began growing a beard the day I saw it.
That's the root of the weed. Thanks to hookup culture through social media, women have a heightened expectation because there is no shortage of men.
The pussy on a pedestal phenomenon makes girls who are 5's act like they're 9's. The narcissism is further fed by likes and shares on social media.
It's creating an uncanny vanity and creates a sense of high value for women and low value for men.
Doing it right, brother. Got married as a 34 yo virgin (by design, not lack of opportunity...) and have ZERO regrets about it. Have a fantastic sex life with my wife that would make most men jealous.
It’s almost as if this is how things were designed to work... now, I wonder where we could find such instruction about chastity and faithfulness...?
When you have no one to compare to, both people in a marriage think the other is the best in bed in the world. Truly a gift from God!
Most people don’t have the self control or self discipline to safeguard the integrity of their sexuality.
If they did we would have far less death and destruction in the world.
32 years married here, hubby was religious and lived his faith, so a virgin when we married. I was a gullible agnostic and no virgin. He is better than all the others combined and we still have a very active sex life. I didn't need to check either, what is between the ears is the most important thing, although we has ripped and is still very fit LOL. I seriously have the best husband ever.
Thanks. He is a very good man, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it
Crazy good sex or crazy with motor oil and jumper cables sex?
Asking the real questions
Would you like to know more.gif
Glad to hear. That jumper cable shit is unsafe.
Looks fade.
Personality is forever
Great point.
My god daughter graduated last year, hyper liberal small city, many hundreds of kids at her public HS of 5 or 6 in city.
That summer she had a number of heart to heart convos with quite a few girlfriends who finally felt free of the cliques and pressures- turns out only she and one other had ACTUALLY been sexually active.
The boyfriends or dates routinely lied about the other girls putting out and had vivid anime imaginations, yet social "norms" meant denying it even to close friends or getting mad was the wrong take. Smh.
Her little brother just finished sophmore year, joined football and upgraded his friends, developed social skills and grew into his features- and is actively avoiding dating or talking about female classmates after being privy to his sister's revelations.
And in socio cultural studies Gen Z is one of the least sexually active US groups since the 1910s!
Don't let the false image of past gens fool you, the Roaring 20s were completely lit with freedom to run wild, the 30s were filled with illicit hangouts and sketch behavior and back alley abortionists or year long visits to a distant "aunt" with tons of abandoned newborns adopted, the war years were full of rushed marriages before sent to fight "just in case", the 50s and 60s had more late teen weddings with "miracle" 7 month first babies than not.
Then PP and birth control and womens lib with ease of good jobs and welfare for babies born out of wedlock hit... and what used to be covered up came out into the open and parents couldn't force a marriage as easily. Ironically, the more socially acceptable it was the less sex and freedom was valued. A couple decades of still settling down and starting families before too long happened, for many but some not.
Then the 90s hit. Money and status became everything, power and influence and looking good the only goals of too many- and that impossible pinnacle to reach for most fueled the party drugs and random sex to feel something boom.
And the reactive punk grunge rejection of them, and widespread depression and medicating of adults as well as youth since reality sucked compared to the glam images and edgy success cases.
Cynicism took hold in the youngest adult cohorts in the 2000s, nobody respected anything or anyone, no one trusted, assumptions were made about everyone and choices based on wanting to not be taken advantage of first- users and losers, hoes and fuckboys, abound. Disconnect from personal responsibility in favor of pop culture idols or Causes. Disfunction is a virtue.
Gen Z is aggressively reacting to that whole pervasive Millennial vibe by taking personal responsibility, hyper sensible and realistic. And apparently deciding in many cohorts to go slow on sexual activity. Not all, there will always be subsets or groupings that roll different than averages, but more than not.
Yes. We can't get rid of the thots without destroying the simps.
And there is the main issue. When you can pick and choose, you can get whatever male you want. Women in the US can get whoever they want when they are young, then they hit the wall and lose all of that. It results in a bunch of broken, unmarried men and women, turning to porn, alcohol, and drugs. As a younger lad, porn is something that I've stayed far away from. Can slip down a slippery slope into some really bad stuff.
And wives need to stop acting like they have it harder than the husbands. Especially when kids are involved.
Stay at home mom? Yes, tough. Dad who has to go to work and support that family unit, who then won't get to see his child(ren) as much and sees photos of child(ren)'s first moments? Just as tough.
Different but equal. Love each other for all you bring and all you help with.
So true, I am a housewife and know I have it good so I try to make life as easy as possible for my husband. I pretty much take care of everything, most repairs, yard, house, home cooked food, finances, you name it. When he used to work crazy hours I repaired the plumbing, but now I can afford to hire someone. I believe it is a profession and we should treat it that way. I am so annoyed with women who think playing with the kids all day exempts them from chores. Ignore those kids and get some work done. I think every woman should be self supporting before marriage so they can appreciate how hard working is and know that every job has some aspect just as tedious as cleaning toilets.
For my wife and I, it really came down to tasks that one liked or didn't mind doing and the other hated. We both worked and brought in income. I cleaned the house regularly but we did our own laundry. She did most of the stuff for our child like running around to different events, school and after-school activities. I maintained the cars, the house and yard. She did the groceries and cooked. I cleaned the kitchen. Over the years, it just molded into that without having any formal agreements and we never had arguments over it.
Wow, nice partnership. I believe whatever division of labor works is good. I have seen some very competent house husbands. Our division is my husband works, used to overwork, and I do everything else. He does maintain my yard equipment for me. I get everything done during the day and weekends and evenings are for relaxing. We have enough money so there is no need to work more. His work was so hard for years that he would come home completely wasted. Doing more was not realistic. Now he works 40 hours a week and helps out more often, especially as I am back in school now. I am pickier about housework so that also makes it my job. You cannot be picky about how other people do things, that is obnoxious
What I can't stand is when they make it my issue. Oh you know it's hard to have a career and still your husband expect you to cook dinner every night blah blah blah. Bitch we aren't married and I don't give a fuck what you husband thinks and acts like. That is entirely your problem so stop acting like society is victimizing you and stop thinking I care in the least.
Agreed, mostly. I'm talking mostly about couples with 3+ kids.
I agree, but it depends on how much you put into it. Being a type A housewife is just as hard, but different. I do not believe I should be home and expect my husband to do chores. I had 3 kids under age 4 so it was very hard.
Homeschooled them LOL. Being a chef young and working 24 hour shifts was good preparation. I agree most with your point about jobs being soulless. I remember my husband saying once that supporting us gave his job meaning. My husband is the best.
We have always come out ahead financially with me home because I lower expenses and if I work outside all the money goes to taxes.
No, I was not forced to home school my kids, we enjoyed it. We moved frequently and it gave them continuity. I also was able to help out women who had to work and needed occasional help with their kids. We are all in this together, but without someone home to help with things like teacher inservice days it gets very difficult. I was able to help my community as well. I realize work that is unpaid is not valued in our society, but I also was fully self supporting first and worked as a chef so I am well aware of what different types of work look like and I value the work my husband does.
Bill Burr is the truth
It is and it's enforced by all 50 states. When you get married, the woman is not marrying you, she's marrying the state. Barring very rare circumstances/luck, the man is on the hook for life. And why not? After all, what is unreasonable about being forced to "maintain the standard of living" the woman was accustomed to? Never mind that she was the one that chose to divorce you, no no, think of the poor woman! Oh my god, imagine if she had to pay all the utility bills for the house you bought and is now hers all on her own! Lost your job? Got a pay cut? Doesn't matter, pay or go to jail! /end rant
Seriously, I wish all married men the best of luck, and a long, happy marriage.
Was it Dave Chappelle who said (?) something like, well I'm accustomed to getting pussy every day so will I be able to maintain that lifestyle? The idea that we demand equality for women and still make the man responsible to maintain a lifestyle means we have just have a new form of inequality and its worse for men so nobody cares.
Shit, when I got divorced my ex was pregnant about 10 months later and my friend told me I needed to go to court and sign papers declaring this was not my kid or the state would be coming after me for child support regardless. Just amazing.
The amount of upvotes the main post has is kinda sad. Its clearly written by a woman and the whipped men are eating it up by blaming themselves solely.
It aint women upvoting it though
Eh. My very liberal default to the woman in custody State granted a whopping $145/month for both children in support and half of daycare cost for two working parents.
The house we bought together could have easily had a refi, but he wanted to sell instead- it was enough profit I qualified for a replacement home mortgage on just my salary.
He chose to not buy and instead rent with roomies for over a year, then moved out of State- and never paid another dime of child support or that daycare half... or even the travel expenses for his kids to visit when the Court accepted the change from full joint custody since he moved away and thus did not have them every other week. I paid all of it just to take care of my girls and make sure they still saw their dad; the Courts just shrugged and said hire another lawyer and file there we dgaf. I didn't waste my effort.
Oh, and I didn't even recognize other guys existed when married let alone be disloyal or a spendthrift. The divorce was my accidently stumbling over his willful betrayal of my trust and commitment.
Guys need to recognize many women will very gratefully settle down with a truly honest loyal guy who is a decent person and good parent. But not if he assumes she is going to be unfaithful and trash his life or drag him in Court- and then behaves accordingly in conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships.
You often get what you put in- and if you assume the worst outcome you put in with a temporary mindset and bitter doubts, and feed that result.
What we have is a gold-digging whores problem! </Bill Burr>
lmaoo
I put this first in my life with my “marriages”, both of them cheated on me. I haven’t seen a ring yet that didn’t have a hole through it.
I’m sorry to hear that, pede. God bless.
I still believe that God is first in a marriage, but I’m not going for three. I’m extremely happy these days tho!
Im really conflicted on it because I believe in marriage... but once I nearly married someone and it took me EIGHT years to figure out they had a nasty Cluster B Personality disorder... that's the family of related mental disorders which includes Sociopathy, Antisocial, Narcissistic, Borderline... you know all the fucking murderously unstable psychopathic chameleons.
Eight years it took him to finally show that side and become physically abusive and begin to try to mentally torture me... in earnst... like military style sleep deprivation torture and like that. Eight. Years. Something in him flipped like a switch and he went from loving me to HATING me, and I mean hating in a way where someone WANTS you to stay so they can torture you some more. A very sick and twisted kind of hate.
Eight years!!!! For eight years I was with one person, and then suddenly I woke up one day to another much much worse person.
So I get kind of prickly when people are mega-hardline about "no divorce". You'll never get someone who has been a battered wife to agree that all divorce is sin. That's one of the reasons I fundamentally object to Catholicism. At some point, it is cruelty to say that a woman is trapped with the man who may well one day kill her, directly or indirectly, if she can't get out.
they never would have caught my ex with a perfunctory diagnostic, but yeah, they did. Prolly still should.
I did put my husband first and he earned it every day. The kids grow up and leave, husband is forever.
Please don't mischaracterize the Catholic Church. Annulments are available for abused spouses. Sorry for your suffering. Daughter is in a similar situation...
I agree 100%. My daughter is cluster B, it can be genetic, these people are unbelievably hard to live with. Cudos on getting out.
Thank you. HOOVERPROOF SURVIVOR, BABY. Prayers for you and your family. May the Lord bless you, fren.
If it was genetic, that could explain why it just switched on one day. I know that faulty genetics can "switch on". I was currently working more with the theory that there is demonic energy in play with whatevers going on. But honestly IDK. Best not to think too much on it, best to just run.
I think there are elements of both. To some extent all of us have bad parts of ourselves and we can choose to encourage them or not. We can step back and ask for help.
My ex-wife had something similar happen. It wasn't exactly like a light switch but she went from being a loving and respectful person to treating me like garbage and trying to fake a domestic violence charge to get the police to force me out of the house and remove me from our daughters life. Luckily she made a mistake and I found out about it before hand was able to protect myself (She ended up getting herself arrested).
Man this was sad. Divorce in general makes me sad lol but I’m really sorry to hear about your experience and I hope you’re getting along well now.
tanks, pede! cheer up, everyone is safe and sound! MAGA!!!
I am a Catholic and you are not required to live with a physically abusive husband. But you cannot remarry since marriage is a vow through sickness and health.
That is not true. If the abusing spouse is dishonest about their vows the marriage is not valid.
GenX was largely the first group to deal with the fallout from how marriage was debased in the 60's. The desires of adults became foremost and the kids suffered for it. GenX were called "latchkey kids" for a reason. But not gonna lie, I'm divorced myself. Didn't cheat but didn't make it work either.
Nixon won and went after the hippies, but he ended up getting impeached.
We Xers were sold a bill of goods with sex ed classes telling us we should all be screwing around as everyone is doing it. They told us birth control is effective and how to get abortions without our parents finding out. Looking back I am horrified. I wound up trying their way, seeing the damage, and becoming both religious and more conservative
Your username suggests otherwise, pede
KEK!
Yours on the other hand, perfect for Tinder!
Doncha' mean Grinder!
Don’t give up and never settle. You’ll find someone that wants to make you happy as much as you want to make them happy.
14 years for me today. Time sure flies.
Thanks friend, all is well! Love em till the end.
Wow. Amazing how wrong you are. You must be a liberal.
you sound like someone who gave up and settled.
My first was just over ten years together till I found out the other guys, sometimes looking past the flaws can bite you in the butt, wished I highlighted something’s a little more. Wish you the best, marriages are to be forever, glad you have it.
I was married for 25 years. When she left she literally said, 'That's just life. Get over it." Sorry for believing the promise actually meant something. I mean, what's the point of the vows and the big ceremony if a few years later you just say 'Oh well' and bail?
I feel ya friend, I’m sticking with ‘buyer beware’ now! I’m going too start kicking the tires a little harder if I ever buy again.
I know I'm cynical at this point but I've said for many years now, yeah a woman will love me and stay true to me right up until the point that she doesn't and won't. And it's the same for men and in some cases that is legitimate but my point is don't go thinking that someone making a promise to you means jack shit in the long run.
Skip the big ceremony, we eloped. 32 years in and very happy. I am glad my husband has not figured out that he is a better husband than I am a wife
Finally something positive. Scrolled far too far to see this. Thought I was back on Reddit.
Sorry that sucks
Most divorces are filed by women, who cite the reason for the divorce as "Being Unhappy".
Not being cheated on, not being abused, but being unhappy.
Whatever happened "through good times and bad"?
Feminism
100% this. Feminism set the standards way too high to the point where men can't realistically achieve them. So of course the female is going to be unhappy because she has standards that only exist in fictional romance novels! If you want to see this in action then just go to /r/femaledatingstrategy and read their guides.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading#wiki_the_fds_handbook
This was my ex wife. She read close to 200 of those romance novels a year. I was good to her, I really tried. But nothing was ever good enough. I believe these novels laid out an unreal expectation. Then she fucked my brother, probably another fantasy of a novel.
Found a conservative girl and I honestly couldn't be happier. She's a good strong woman who is kind, loving and cares deeply about me.
I'm so sorry that you went through that. May God's grace be on you and your new lady- I'm glad to know you found someone who appreciates you.
Thank you. It was a dark time. I'm not a Christian yet but I'm bi-christian curious. Stay tuned
Read CS Lewis.
No such thing as a bi-Christian. You accept Christ's offer of His life for your sins, or you don't. Not trying to be a jerk, it's just that simple. It's the best deal ever offered and I will never look back. The Prince of Peace and the God of All Comfort.....so good to each one of us. His Love for us is unfathomable.
I'm just joking about getting closer
I don’t think he meant it that way
This made me chuckle audibly. Stay curious friend, we can see the fruits of a world without Christ.
Man, she effed you but also, what kind of brother bangs your wife?
We were best friends man! Worst part of it. He was a decent guy
I bet he got a good thump'n.
I read them and I am very happy with my husband. There was more to it. Some women just cannot be pleased no matter how hard you try, there are men like that too. Personality and character defect
Good point.
I want to add that I am sorry you went through that. Sounds rough.
Thanks, I have a much better life now. I own a farm and dogs and have a wonderful girl who I'm marrying in the fall and we want to start having kids. What a difference 3 years can make.
Sometimes that "being unhappy" leads to cheating. Basically, what happened to me after 24 years. never abused her, never laid a finger on her. Supported her in a stable, but BORING job so we could have a nice place to live, food and support 3 kids while she jumped job to job looking for the right one. Then out of the blue she says she needs her "independent confidence". Come to find out she cheated on me. Why? because she was unhappy.
Sorry man. That’s terrible. It’s the lie society feeds us—happiness lies elsewhere.
That is fuckin' profound and everyone needs to hear it.
It's not really a lie; both are true. There are many couples out there who shouldn't have married one another and made a bad or incomplete major life decision. The more time goes on the more that rot will take hold. Pretending there's happiness to be found there doesn't solve any problem, just like cheating won't solve anything.
If both people commit themselves to being good Christians instead of themselves and their own ego then happiness and more importantly mutual respect will be found.
Because society has changed to such a point, intentionally, to frame it as women are perfect and can never do wrong. Hell, legally they can't as women do not get as harsh sentences as men for the exact same crime, in some cases even getting the sentence commuted.
We used to understand that men and women are different, we think differently and have different value sets due to reproductive priorities. When that knowledge was intentionally suppressed everything went wrong because we stopped understanding something that allowed us to build societies even if it meant half the population didn't always get literally everything they demanded.
So true, women have been fed lies, men too. We are different.
Not all women cheat. Kind of like how not all men cheat either.
Jumping from job to job to find the right fit was foreshadow as I'm sure you understand now.
It was. It got worse the older she got. I always tried to support her, but nothing was ever good enough. Always thinking the grass was greener.
Exactly the type, no gratitude and never satisfied. She is probably doing the same to the next guy.
Actually, I think he dumped her right after or about when we got divorced. Don't really know for sure as I don't speak to her anymore.
This just happened to a coworker of my husband. 4 kids and he is a very nice guy. The woman must have been a nut job to give him up.
I'd still be married to the father of my children and a loyal wife if he had kept being like you... 😑
Worst shock of my life to accidently discover his betrayal of my trust and commitment.
agree
George Carlin:
"LOWER YOUR FUCKING EXPECTATIONS"
And I can guess why most are unhappy. They want a bad boy but if you act bad they don't like it. So you act like a good boy and you bore them quickly. It's sort of like the whole virgin/slut idea. Unrealistic expectations.
You have a point. I have had women give me a hard time about me encouraging my husband's motorcycle habit. We met rock climbing and I was not about to neuter him by demanding he stop doing the things that attracted me in the first place. My husband is just right, soft and tame on the surface and edgy underneath. If girls were not idiots he would never have been still single when I met him. 32 years later I can tell people envy me my husband, but what they don't see is that we have both worked hard at our marriage over the years. We are partners.
I dont want a ban on porn. But I'm forced to believe that rampant and available pornography is part of the reason there's such a strong demoralization problem with men today.
(The flip side is the horrible horrible divorce laws that any sensible man would stay far far away from. Making marriage a losing proposition based on potential for ruin. Would you jump out of a plane if you knew 2/3 of parachutes dont open? But thats beside my point)
It used to be if you wanted to get your rocks off you needed a wife. How do you get a wife? You have to build something, create something, fight valiantly or stand up and be courageous. Do something meaningful to impress them first. The side effect is that determination and ethic is organically passed down to your children. How did mom and dad meet? Dad built a bridge across the Mediterranean that's all. Now Johnny knows what he needs to do when he's looking for a girl later on. And down it goes.
That barrier for entry to sexuality is gone because you can type in a url and get the same dopamine mix. At a high enough frequency to dull its impact and completely hollowed of any benefit except for a few muscles in your arm. And as a consequence, men dont create anything. Men stopped building. The world is full so theres nowhhere left to conquer. We won everything and in the process defeated ourselves
I ran across a video the other day of a porn editor sharing secrets to their demoralizing and trans efforts. Many porn videos involve trans women and do not get labeled as such. Up and coming porn stars born male will not be shared publically. It made you stop watching porn.
I was a crossdresser for years. I stopped doing it when my second daughter was born. The fantasies never fully recede, nor the taste of porn.
So I have the unhappy knowledge of what you're talking about. There's a whole category of porn directly related to:
There's racialist overtones to a lot of porn as well. It's not good for anyone, black or white.
Don’t forget how hard they go after children to get them addicted before they can learn to control themselves. Don’t give kids cellphones people. It’s not worth their ruination.
Tom Lehrer was sort of the Weird Al Yankovic of the 60s. In fact, he was one of Weird Al's inspirations.
And he had this couplet from his song about the local drug dealer.
"He gives the kids free samples, because he knows full well. That today's young innocent faces are tomorrow's clientele."
Little off topic but Lehrer was also a published mathematician. Also got a Masters degree and then joined the army.
Dude I can't tell you how much soft core kiddie porn I am seeing on Netlifx these days. Why do I want to watch 10 minutes of teenagers getting it on? It does nothing for the story and if made something like that I'd be in jail.
Stranger things 3? Yea I thought that season was horrible for a multitude of reasons. Won’t be watching 4. It’s trash now.
They push cuck and interracial porn so hard on these sites. It's not like it's something I search for or watch from suggestion. But it's all over the damn place.
I noticed that too. Really weird. Do people like that?
I'm sure there are some people into everything. But this is an artificial push.
I thought the talk about cuckolds was a joke. Weird to see it on porn sites.
Hell there are people that fill their hands up with shit and fuck that. Humans and Bonobos are just perverts and you will find people into everything you can imagine.
They know that programming works. They are trying to inspire/force a cultural change, just like TV has done. Ever wonder why you can actually see a list of all the 'action' movies on Netflix or Amazon? They keep showing you stuff they SAY is popular or that YOU WILL LIKE. Wrong. They focus on the propaganda they are using to program you. Quit watching TV/streaming services for 30 days and you will feel SO MUCH BETTER.
And incest
But it said STEPsister so it's all good
/s
Thanks for sharing. The programming of fetishes is what I need to know more about. I think everyone could benefit from learning the magik of porn. It would scare them.
Thanks for sharing. The programming of fetishes is what I need to know more about. I think everyone could benefit from learning the magik of porn. It would scare them.
I can't understand the fetishizing of black men. I just don't get it and what's more, why do they always have to smear oil all over a woman's ass. Fucking ridiculous. And I thought we were supposed to be against racial privilege so shouldn't these black men be refusing these jobs lol?
There's a stereotype of black men as more virile, better endowed, and more.... well, sexual than whites.
It's a pretty damn racist stereotype. Genuinely racist, the actual definition.
There's a hierarchy to it, with blacks at the top, followed by white men, then Asian men at the bottom.
I have no idea where Latino and Arab guys fit though haha.
I think you're more likely to see Asian "ladyboys" than asian straight men in the world of porn.
Which is pretty whack- porn is meh to a turn off to me, and the less realistic or strange the faster I am actively avoiding it. In other words, 99.9% of it!
I may not have much direct exposure for my age, but enough and diverse too to answer the question as to the other irl.
My first serious boyfriend was asian and spanish and my first husband asian- I now know both were generously proportioned vs average, and enthusiastic.
Second husband white and native, somewhat lacking unless very worked up but spent endless effort to good results.
I have dated a few guys seriously- maybe my experiences were unusual, but of the 4 guys outside my married life I've ever been intimate with all were sharply more generous sized than what I am told is average, and across ethnicities- and I decided to become intimate long before I had any idea what was under their jeans as it were.
But by far the most persistent, passionate, skilled, enthusiastic, and very physically gifted as well as appealing in appearance and build out of a good lot is Puerto Rican. Charm, confidence, effort made, trust given and kept confidences. And showed major appreciation of everything from a cute bra to helping buy sheets to in bed to parenting insights. The first part can suck you in, the last will make him irresistably attractive.
And I have fended off many more I thought were just a friend to the point I was aware of their "assets" and methods used to try and seduce. I can say the black guys took it way better and with humor than white or middle eastern guys who flipped out obssessively when told no, and latino men simply keep trying every time you run into them again like rejection is a game. Asian guys just shut down and poof.
And a ton of female confidences fill in the sample set widely as well.
Only one woman encountered a larger than average black, and he apparently couldn't er perform.
Sex drive appears about the same averages and variables across most ethnicities based on their personal experiences and other stories.
Guys losing interest in regular sex after moving in was a running theme though.
But I will honestly say there seems to be some truth to the latino machismo being an overdose of testosterone crossed with confidence in their abilities. Almost no female who got involved had complaints, and many would forgive much to keep them in their bed.
Size is absurdly diverse and rarely tied to ethnicity or even build- often women were surprised both good and bad that way.
Performance is often a combination of stamina and confidence with a healthy interest in mutual pleasure- not size- and only a few women seem to have physical interior builds that need particularly large or smaller to be satisfied. Personal cleanliness ranked WAY above skills too btw.
Porn is so thoroughly fantasy on male size and actions that I wonder if it designed to demoralize most guys rather than embolden them...
I think the porn of black men is to install or increase deepseated resentments. When the race wars come, this will be a factor.
That makes sense so many times just a random cock or some gay shit comes out of nowhere.
I used to never ever come across gay stuff. Now a days itll pop up out of nowhere and trannies.
To promote evil shit.
Disagree strongly. Men are shit on all the time, that’s what brings them down. Young boys are generally treated as defective little girls and while girls have tons of help programs if their struggling boys have next to nothing. Combine with indoctrination with crap like the evils of Patriarchy and regardless of whether male centric leadership is the right way or not, men receive the message that “male = bad” and that affects their thinking.
Women are messed up the opposite way by being pushed into a toxic, self-centered and self-righteous mindset. They don’t say thank you for a man making them lunch because they think that pampering is expected for them. But wail if asked to do the same because muh’ patriarchy.
Now this does not describe all men and women today. But it’s the major contributor to the original problem stated.
On building things, doing things with your hands is considered lowly work by media and institutions so young don’t look at those hobbies and careers. They also aren’t really exposed to it. Combined with self-confidence issues stemming from reasons already stated they just don’t do anything physical.
On porn, porn has existed since for ever as have sex toys. If anything many young men to at least try real sex after viewing porn. The issue is many women don’t make meeting people attractive. In the most extreme cases you get Men Go Their Own Way where their personal cost/benefit analysis shows women not being worth it.
I didnt say it was the only factor. But its self inflicted, which makes it a little different. Igs a result at least in part from several things you mentioned. Treating boys like defective girls (Hoff Somers right?) And any male virtue being labelled toxic
Between us everything we've mentioned is a new phenomena. Erotica has always existed but its has never been this widely available or as extreme as it is today. It's a battle on multiple fronts.
More destruction of social cohesion
Thing is, narcotic drugs not being readily available hasn’t stopped their harm. Ergo if porn has always existed but in lower numbers I don’t think its availability today makes it one. I think the issues we have that are new are the bigger factors.
Also, like with single mothers = troubled young men, there’s so many contributing factors that there’s too much data noise IMO to certainly point to one thing as the main cause.
Hm. Perhaps I could redraw it as an excuse to not engage, or a coping mechanism say, rather than a cause of disengagement. To your point, a drug is a drug regardless of how available it is, the consequence is the same.
You have guys like genghis Khan. He's busted as much as any "connoisseur" I reckon. He just made kids while doing it.
I definitely think the scales are tipped against men in ways we arent even ready to acknowledge. Certainly not discuss openly. I dont disagree with a single item you pointed out. It still makes me sick to my stomach and I've followed mens rights personas for well over 10 years now.
Thanks for commenting, you've tempered my pov on this somewhat.
Bring back spoils of war and porn goes obsolete 😏
Until that day...uh...2D is superior
Thank you for replying back too!
IMO, most men get introduced to porn in their young age because they can't get laid by the normal means. Young women, who naturally get a ton of attention, just go to older guys that are more established in life. So there ends up being a void where young people basically can't get a GF so they turn to porn instead to satisfy their sexual needs. If you look at the percentage of young men (18-22 years old) that watch porn, it is extremely high.
I know this is the reason why I started watching porn in the first place.
I started trying to acquire nudie mags at like 14, because i was a boy going thru puberty. I shouldn't have been having sex then, and wasn't so i needed something to deal with all those hormones. I don't know how big a problem porn is as a concept, i think its the infinite hours of free porn that ruin the mind. One photo of a pinup girl got me a lot of mileage, now i see two ppl hardcore fucking and its like ok but the camera angle could be 10% better let me keep browsing... (i dont have a major porn problem either, i can imagine how much worse it is for many men)
Well said!
Not to mention that because of birth control, women are easier than they were before. The risk of getting pregnant from sleeping with someone outside of marriage is almost eliminated. Now men don't need to build bridges across the mediterranean, so they don't. And their kids won't either because their parents didn't pass that culture down.
Thanks for sharing. It's good to hear these stories.
Coomer? Do you mean consumeproduct.win ? Consume more ammo.
Who tf downvoted this?
ladypede here, my ex husband was the cheater... so please don't generalize either way, hmm?
Women are not always the problem. Men can cheat too. Don't act like they don't. BOTH genders can cheat.
One gender isn't mentally wired to always look for "better" as a survival mechanism. You probably never really grasped why arranged marriages were a thing.
No shit, that's why nobody said "always". He was saying mostly. As in 70% mostly, and that's just the recorded ones.
you're ruining your own "argument" here... who's that cheating woman gonna call? oh, right, all those men who "can't" cheat... yet they'll be right over to drop trou when the cheating women call?
oh, and even if that 70% figure is true... how many of those women are divorcing their husbands who cheated?
sorry you don't seem ever to have known a good loyal woman... and with that attitude you probably never will.
Cool! What was the play or author?
Neither hubby nor I have cheated. So maybe it is individuals that are to blame, not a whole gender, race or whatever category you want to use?
This mindset is how America got to the point we're at now.
Its not bad to point out overwhelming stats and facts and then choosing to make decisions off the decades of data at hand.
My father cheated on my mother. He's been an absent father for all of my life.
sorry to hear that, fren. life can be rough.
Yeah i had an affair with my gfs best friend as we were pregnant with our firstborn. Shitty i know. Long complicated story tho. Cant always generalize
no need... other pedes had already covered that side...
and perhaps you missed the part where I said not to generalize either way...
but thanks for playing.
I took it to mean to inspire his gender to do better. Not saying that the other gender was perfect. I read it and realized that although porn is not a problem for me, that there are things I can do that will improve our marriage. And because of the way OP framed it, I made a plan to do better.
I've seen similar in my life. Women fantasizing of other relationships leads to social media stalking then communicating then virtual cheating then the real thing.
I feel your pain. But it's not that men aren't the problem. It's that women get almost none of the blame. Never the less there are far too many men that are not taking care of the children they brought into this world.
My father cheated on my mother. They were divorced when I was 8. He provided very little in financial support for his 3 children who are now in their 50's. Of his 5 grandchildren, he met 2 of them once in 30 years.
Agree, I believe it is societal and you have better odds in religious communities, but have to be very careful no matter what.
Some men are a problem but some of us are very much loyal. Once we decide you are for us we will stick by you forever. But again, that's not all of us.
Yep. I'm 49 and can count good friends on one had and I may only see them once every few years. Quality over quantity is definitely how is goes (or should go) the older you get. Trust is really important.
The men in my family are like that. My mom was pretty difficult and my dad was still totally loyal. My husband and boys are loyal. Even my cucked brother was loyal until she kicked him to the curb.
Thank you. My husband is the same and I appreciate you, him and the others that are loyal and strong.
Two problems need to be corrected before we can return to the old methods.
No fault divorces need to be nullified and family courts need to be overhauled.
Men need to act like men. Men need to handle their shit and stop acting like children looking for mommy's (the wife's) approval. 'Happy wife, happy life' is repulsive to women. She will follow your lead if you work on improving yourself and start doing the things you should have been doing all along.
Maybe you're seeing the light. Do you want to know more?
edit I should clarify. I'm not talking about Islam.
No fault divorces are filed by women 70% of the time. Saying that men need to start acting like men is total bullshit. Plenty of us do. You aren't casting light on anything, I think you are just blaming men because you think they are bad.
You aren't ready.
So as I suspected you have nothing. You won't share what you claim to know until someone is wiling to accept it all. Got it.
I wont share it with someone who will be hostile to the process. I am sure that you will be hostile. There's no need for you to know because it will provide no benefit to you, just anger. Trust me, you are better off not knowing.
.... you're making excuses because you cant provide what you say you can.
You are attacking an anonymous persons character based on literally ONE of their opinions out of thousands.
You even consciously chose to not have an argument you knew you were about to lose because quite literally facts dont support you.
So what you CONSCIOUSLY chose to do was attack their character and attempt to shame them as being lesser than yourself.
When in actuality the fact they're attempting to debate you with facts is proof of their character and you've coincidentally shown your own character by trying to manipulate people reading your interactions by shaming and belittling them.
Im guessing you know all this. You're acting on your inherent uncontrollable nature.
You're a joke.
Wow what a thought provoking comment!
The only thing that motivates feminists today is fuck the white patriarchy. Period. There is no rationale behind why they would accept Islam other than that.
I wouldn't say "happy wife, happy life" is repulsive to women. Men who simp and just become a doormat are though.
Happy wife means that you're meeting her needs, and hopefully she is meeting yours as well. That's called a healthy relationship.
Unhappy women cheat, so do unhappy men.
The problem comes when there is not equal satisfaction in the relationship.
Are you speaking about the woman's needs, or her wants? Hmmmm?
It's actually silly that you even ask that question. I am speaking about a woman's needs. It's not like you get married and then you don't have to try anymore.... that goes both ways. Marriage is hard work and has lots of ups and downs.
Women go looking for attention when they aren't getting it at home. Same goes for men.
Both sides need to stand up and do what needs done.
I've always called out people for #2. I always hear, oh looks like someone has never been married before. So I have to have been married before to be a retard? OK lol.
I've been divorced and the reason she left me was because I was a whiny little simp who let her use me like a doormat. I changed my life, became a better man and am in a 2+ year LTR with a girl who's 14 years younger than me and have a very healthy sexual relationship.
That being said, I'm still not going to marry her for fear of the family courts, and yes, I've told her I'm not going to marry her.
It's odd how some men think they what women want when in fact women just often want a strong man who is interesting and does what he likes. I've considered marrying my girlfriend just so she can get my benefits and money when I die but that's not a really good reason. I'm past the age of having kids so there would never be that mess to deal with but yeah, once was enough for me.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. Job 31:1 NIV https://job.bible/job-31-1
I struggle with that so bad. I do my best to avoid it and ask Christ for forgiveness when I fail.
Being conscious of the behavior is most important. We are born with desires but how we manage ourselves is so important.
Would also like to add that you don't need to ask forgiveness every time you sin. The bible says Christ's work is finished. It's not dependent on you. The bible says to confess your sins to God, but once you're saved by Christ, your sins are forgiven, past, present, future.
I disagree but I am not a Bible expert. You can always revert to sin after being saved. Being saved again is good practice and asking for forgiveness helps you grow as a Christian. Awareness of sins helps better oneself. Just my opinion.
I am loathe to call myself a Bible expert, but I'm a lifelong Christian and I would consider myself reasonably knowledgeable.
Our salvation does not come from us not sinning. We are not righteous (Rom 3:23). We are unarguably called to repentance (Rom 6:1-2), and I'm of the opinion that if you are truly saved, you will want to turn from sin (Gal 5:24-25), but that doesn't change the fact that we will constantly fail (Rom 7:14-20). We are saved by grace through faith, not of our own doing (Eph 2:8-9). That's the whole beauty of the free gift of salvation. It's a free gift for anyone who believes (John 3:16). Sinners are the ones who need a savior (Mark 2:17). Continuing to sin after you've been saved doesn't mean that you have lost your salvation, rather it further demonstrates your absolute powerlessness against a force that Jesus was able to resist entirely, and is willing to save you from if you just ask.
We women struggle with this too, it is human, but if we nip it in the bud at the point of thought we are doing are best and that is enough
It is hard especially when you are daily on a college campus during sunny warm weather. I'm not near as religious as I was at that time but back then it was a lot like what you are saying; a constant struggle and constant prayer for repentance and protection.
You need to motivate yourself. Look up the benefits for your body and mental health from porn abstinence. Testosterone levels double after one week of abstinence from masturbation.
Look at old ones.
I’m only looking at the hotties for Trump posts for the guns and boats.
And the articles
Appreciating beauty is one thing. Wanting to stick your dick into it for the sake of sport is another.
Hi new-account. You like pigs?
Do you not realize there is a difference between looking and lusting and that some people are Christian and are supposed to live by certain rules? Nope, just go right to the pig fucking is what your brain does. Seems like maybe you ought not to be chastising others.
26th anniversary is coming fast here.
Hallelujah!
I'm 1/2 there with year 13 coming up! Keep at it!
This year is 30 for us!!! I am so incredibly blessed.
Yeah porn's the problem.. LOL. Or it could be a generation of women who do not know how nor are interested in being a wife. Men are devalued into nothing and what - you gonna try to give me a guilt trip? Trust me man, I'd love to go back to a time when I'd be banging my hot wife before I got to bed and first thing in the morning. Not a lot of those women around. If you got one, that's awesome. Enjoy it because it is RARE.
But overall, men have been made obsolete. So what's the point?
Ok take way our porn, but before you do so, take away all of women's dildos and vibrators. Like seriously the thing that replaced us. Funny how I don't hear the sermons about that.
Keep your porn. Just make sure it's the good stuff. Regular girls really turned on are the hottest. One's that you would be likely - on a good day - to land. And that is what you are most likely to encounter. So you wont have a mismatch between expectations and reality. That's the real danger of getting too deep into porn - Best damn thing could show up on your door but you too stupid too see. So be sure to keep it real and you will be fine.
And social media is far far more destructive. Good Lord. Porn ain't responsible for covid or BLM. But neither one could exist without social media.
BE A REAL MAN
Ha.
If you give a shit about what someone's definition of a real man is, you ain't.
Women needed men back then. Now they don't. And everyone is miserable. Yay.
But I have no problem with the Book. But the Book does not say these things people claim it says when you understand the context of how and why it was said. "Love each other as I have loved you" seems not to be the ultimate commandment after all.
Instead we get "hey look at this narrow interpretation of the Bible. It casts me in a great light because I'm getting steady pussy." Ok....
Pretty much the opposite of what Christ taught but hey, if you are getting steady pussy it must be because Christ favors you.
Eh, to be fair, porn in 1920s is just pictures of nude women with big titty. Now? Shitload of degenerate genres such as incest, rape, tranny, etc.
It reminds me of a quote from Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, “Waste no time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one”. You are 101% right.
Exactly, wtf kind of bullshit is this? Gave me Gillette vibes reading OP's post.
yes, we get things our of order.
Too often #3 is in the #1 positions, it will fail every time.
And sometimes #3 is a cat or dog.
There’s nothing wrong with having a pet instead of a kid. When you’re married you have to put the spouse above the kids.
Bingo. I know 2 couples who divorced because wife put kids over husband then had the gall to complain about lack of love and care. Its like "where the hell were you in the previous 10 years?" Oh thats right, putting all you had into little Suzy while your husband sat on the backburner.
I was lucky enough to nip that in the bud early in my marriage with our first. The moment I noticed my wife was more into our daughter then me, I called her out and took her on a date. Once a week is all it takes, plus you might have to confront the behavior as well, Men, it seems, hate confrontation with their Wives. Its as if they are afraid of them with holding sex as punishment. Well be a fricken man and be head of the house and let her know with love how that isn't going work. (it helps to have a Christian wife)
If the sex is good the wife won't want to withhold it. I could never go without for long. My husband has never complained yet.
So diplomatic.
The obese cows now think a tattoo on their fat legs or huge fat arms is "sexy".
Once saw a woman who could fit an entire frigate on her arm with such ease the detail was worthy of a painting.
My rules are no pets, no tattoos. Seeing and ink blotch is an instant turn off. A woman can be super hot, take her coat off revealing a stupid tattoo and I'm just not interested anymore. I guess a little tattoo would not be a deal breaker but the mentality there is suspect to me. You think you are unique but you are a conformist and so you permanently stained yourself with some shitty artwork.
I thought cats were completely useless before I got married, I didn't have a rodent problem-but I swear that cat that came in the wife package became quite a little companion.
It could be very difficult to find a non-tattooed woman now. Completely agree on tats, as in "what the fuck were you thinking?"
I agree fully with no tattoos, but no pets? Why no pets?
Because I want to be #1, not some pet. If you've ever dated a girl who has a cat you would know. Every time you are on the couch trying to make moves that fucking cat is right there in the middle of it and gets all the attention. Dogs lick faces and sleep in beds, no thanks. Cat boxes, oh fuck. There is just so many reasons not to be with a woman with pets IMO. Dogs and cats are fine I guess but I don't want to be forced to be around them all the time especially being allergic.
Yep. This x10000000000000!
My wife did a big accomplishment and wanted a tattoo. I was adamant in saying no. Fight fight fight fight fight fight. Finally she wore me down, and got the damn thing. I still hate seeing it.
100% This. An honest man has one person he looks forward to talking to and spending time with most: his woman. When her attention isn't reciprocal or she's promiscuous, it often creates a dishonest man. This goes both ways. Remember, men get lonely too, but they just bottle their shit up.
Just talk to your spouse or partner, a simple conversation or activity could really brighten their day up.
I agree, it does not hurt for men to stay fit either. Also fit people have stronger sex drives and sex is very unifying in a marriage. The biggest gift you can give your children is a happy marriage and putting the kids at the center of everything is unhealthy.
Yeah I get so tired of that. Meet a girl, wow she keeps her place nice and clean. That's important to me. Move in together shit is piled all over the place. Wrapping paper from Christmas still in the middle of the room in July. Sweat pants, bathrobe, hair in a towel, "I look cute and soft". No bitch you don't and clean up this fucking mess.
It isn't just the kid vs husband thing. It can be pets as well. I won't date a woman with pets. That thing will be in her lap if she is at home. You will always have that fucking thing in between you and the thing probably licks her mouth and sleeps in her bed too. Fuck no. I've even been told that "well they were with me before you were". OK bitch have fun talking to your cats.
I know men go to shit too though.
"Blowjobs are sexist"
Sounds like there were red flags
Many women "drop the mask" after a few years into marriage because they fully understand that they've got you by the balls, as it were, thanks to the family court. Even without children divorces are horrible if the woman wants it to be, and many do as they only wanted to be with the man they married for his resources not because they cared about him in any way.
This.
I don't have a big issue with my girlfriend but what you said reminded me of something. When we first got together man she was an animal. She'd do and try anything and blow jobs for hours. Just watching TV, next thing I know I'm getting my third hour long blowjob of the day. It was unreal and I'm 49 so it was a bit much honestly. Now, I can't get her to do shit. She won't even let me put my finger in her mouth because it's degrading. I love her and won't leave her over that but what the fuck? I know she isn't cheating on me but it's always been interesting to me that with women sex has always seemed like a one way street. When I want it bad there is no way I'm getting any. When she wants it I have to turn a garden hose on her to get her off lol.
I see that but don't think it's the case here. I know she still finds me attractive. She says so a lot and is in fact coming over here tomorrow just because she wants to fuck me. I think she was no manipulating me in the beginning. She was married once long ago and it was really bad. After that she had nothing to do with men for decades so it's almost as if I were her first and being in her 40's she decided there were things she had not tried in life ad wanted to. Some of it was a bit surprising to me. Then I think once she'd had her fill, the sex continued but the huge drive to try new things died off. I have had a problem not getting it sometimes when I'm horny but I've just had to learn to say, "You wanna have sex right now?" That was hard for me to do at first because it just isn't sexy but it works with her better. It leaves no doubt and she'll usually go to the bedroom immediately.
The ones who need this won't heed it.
I’m in recovery from it. It can happen, but I had to be committed to the Lord first.
Amen.
Stopped smoking, drinking, drugs, porn all thanks to the Lord. And I was the really hopeless kind of addict. Still working on the over eating thing, but I’m confident I’ll get there because of Him! Thanks for the prayers!
It's funny that a lot of atheists mock Christians, and yet, often, it's only through God that so many can be strong enough to kick the habit (whatever that habit may be).
The only truly effective recovery is the 10 step style which is based on giving yourself over to God. No surprise the left is trying to discredit it.
Anything Christian is to be destroyed or co-oped in order to create the utopian Marxist America. Traditional Christianity stands in it's way.
I love reading these types of comments on here. Place is full of people working to better themselves in so many ways.
Amen Brother, God is the answer, you just have to humble yourself and ASK FOR HELP.
nofap.win
Congratulations! Stay on that path--you'll get there!
I think offering a strategy is the key. A fellow pede once commented that the way he succeeded in recovery was kind of lame but very effective- scheduled sex with his wife. Once, twice, three times a week, whatever you absolutely need- make it a priority schedule it and never flake. That way you know you can last until the next occasion. Wives are the solution if men are ready to tackle the problem.
As an unmarried teen who's struggled for years, I've often used "I'll quit when I get a wife" as justification for not learning how to overcome that addiction. I wish a wife could be the solution for me to break free, but I'm nowhere near that.
Thankfully I've slowed my use and have been trying to get closer to God over the years. I don't use casually anymore, I only relapse for a day, maybe. Hoping to get to the point where I don't relapse at all.
My hubs struggled with this addiction starting as a teen, and we didn't meet and marry until nearly 30. So the wife couldn't be part of the solution. He said he had his breakthrough when he started admitting that he wasn't struggling - he was choosing. And he chose what he wanted. He realized he actually was in control of his choice.
Praying for you. We were virgins when we married one another. God pointed me out to him. We are very good for one another. Keep leaning into the Father. He will steer you well - not out of all pain, but He can use the momentum from the storms to slingshot you further into His beautiful plans for your life, and you will be amazed at the view from up there.
You have what it takes to overcome.
Pray. I will, too.
But we can't be hopeless. Maybe this is the time they'll read it and finally shape up.
I was looking for this response, thanks. You're on point. Conservatives lose when they try to force - or worse - legislate what people do in the privacy of their own homes and bedrooms. It's Big Government and it runs contrary to the conservative principle of small government.
Anyone interested in this fight would do better to crusade after a moral crisis where there is a clear cut victim and (what should be) an illegal act: abortion. Frankly it is quaint to go after pornography with everything else going on in the US today.
You got no reply because that user has very little of value to add. They call themselves Ex-libtard but I really doubt that. It's a strawman festival with that guy.
Dude you want to talk about a stupid argument?
You keep insisting we are talking about making laws here and nobody is doing that. You are really hung up on something nobody is saying.
Hmm last I checked, when I was going up, you have to get one of your Dads or Friends Dads girlie magazines. Or walk down to the Video store or Theater and pay to get it. Now its free, EVERYONE has access to it.
Its not just Pics of Boobs and Bush its all of it, in motion hardcore and nasty. If you can't see the difference in that then you need to reevaluate your idea of what is really the problem. There is no work in getting Porn, in less then 5 seconds you can have a video playing on your Phone...ANYWHERE. That is the problem kids and adults are able to get addicted to this crap younger and faster then ever before from their own bedroom.
Porn in the 1920's had a purpose. It was shown in brothels for men in the waiting room to help them orgasm quicker when in the rooms with the women.
THINK ABOUT THAT!
I agree with you but still agree that people need to cut back on the porn bigly. It shouldn't be banned because people should be allowed to make a choice. But the more people use it the worse off they are.
Where are you getting the idea that any of us or OP are trying to rob anyone of liberty and pass laws. OP is giving advice and you act like it's why conservatives lost ground to the Marxist left since Regan. That makes no sense.
OK that's fine but all that moralizing happened and here I am, not longer a lefty wanker. I get that people don't like being preached to but lashing out is pretty childish and nobody is trying to make laws to stop that behavior.
Nobody is being a busy body. It;s just a suggestion for men and there is no harm in it. Nobody is suggesting men shit on anybody here
But it really isn't and the dangers of it are well known. If you think it's just fine, tell me, would you date a woman who was a porno actor? If you say 'no' then it's not just fine. It is freedom of speech though.
Tyranny. Again, nobody is telling you what you can and can't do or trying to make laws to force you. You are getting advice and for some reason that sends you into a tail spin.
Now I think you are just not being honest with us. Regan commissioning 2 studies is meaningless really and you have no data to support saying that it had some specific outcome.
Seen what Lewis had to say about society's obsession with sex?
How is this even busy bodying? Did he call for a ban? No. He's just saying true things about a vice that harms your brain.
All porn is unhealthy but the things that modern porn websites are full of are ruinous. Step fantasies, BDSM, group sex and anal are not "healthy and normal" and it's a good thing to point that out.
It's the difference between prohibiting liquor and saying alcoholics are sad and pathetic.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!... My wife's boyfriend says you're a bigot!
Everything in moderation. Just don't over do it.
Yeah. I’m not sure porn is a problem for most people. I think it may give younger people the wrong ideas about sex. But I don’t think younger people should be watching it anyway. But that’s a parent’s problem. And I think that’s a much bigger problem than porn.
Kids should not watch it, adults should either refrain or use in moderation.
If this post flew, someone should start the "prohibition/drug war is a leftist policy" thread. That will really upset the social engineers here.
This is blue pill beta bux if I’ve ever seen it.
Then you don’t know what it means to be a real man.
Only women and cucks throw around the phrase ‘real man’
Which are you?
lul convenient that being a real man means doing what other people want
You need to read The Rational Male stat, before you get divorce raped.
If I had a wife. Most of these women are beyond repair. My own sisters barely even notice the men around them, all the while complaining about not being able to find a good man. I literally sat my youngest sister down after she whined about being single for too long and listed every guy I knew of who would do anything for her, and she was able to list some critical flaw about each one of them be it being too poor, too nice, not tall enough, not pretty enough, the list went on. And this is before PoundMeeToo, which has made it a life threateningly dangerous thing to even say to a lady "You look very nice today."
Women have a very long list of criteria for men... a man's list of criteria for a woman is: Be hygienic, be decent, don't weigh 400lbs.
These women with high criteria develop a bad attitude, hit their mid 30s and everything starts to go south, then they frantically try to find a man and then wonder "where are all the decent men at?"
It really isnt dangerous tho, chicks dig it. U just need to read body language and her eyes. If shes into u go for it. Its definitely possible to pull pussy waiting in line at dunkin donuts lol. Worked last time for me at least..
Where is Jordan Peterson ?
JP is bringing more people into the fold than almost any other human right now, to give credit where it is due. His recent absence left a very large hole in the collective spiritual consciousness. I hope he comes back full force with redpills and Bibles to spare.
The devil had to strike at one of his enemies. We should be glad Jordan Peterson lives and will recover.
Well, I'm speaking a little metaphorically. Maybe overboard. Still, I think he's been extremely helpful in giving direction to young people who have been robbed of it, waking up others to the dangers of Communism and Postmodernism. And his Biblical lecture, though it might not get everything (and whose does?) does make a lot of valid points.
I used to listen to a lot of online Rabbis in the years before JP became a sensation, so I had a grounding before I heard him. Still, he's worthwhile, and I read the Gulag Archipelago after hearing him cite it so often, and the postmodernist analysis was an invaluable tool to understanding the present insanity of the Left.
We need a spiritual renewal in America, or we're done. I think JP is a good first step for a lot of people.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Peterson so you're right
Unfortunately I think thats what put him in the predicament he finds himself in now. The anxiety of being the savior of so many.
Thats fine if “Savior” can only have a religious meaning, but the fact is that not all people who have seen Jordan as a positive influence in their life do so through the lens of religion. So I will leave it at that. Jordan Peterson has been a positive influence to so many, many of whom have turned to their faith as well, that the pressure and spotlight overwhelmed him with anxiety.
I understand your point but suspect you may be missing mine. Fortunately I know my relationship with God already, but for those that don't, it takes a fellow human to help shepherd them into the flock.
The Bible does not just land in your lap and reveal its truth. You need a person to help guide you there. A gateway of sorts. JP is an excellent example of that kind of person.
He almost died the last year he's been fighting benzo withdrawal check his youtube
Coma.
He's been blogging from his home page quite lucidly, so obviously not in a coma.
Well, there's your answer then.
Thanks. I'll keep you in mind next time I need a wrong answer.
Men are simple, if they're turning to porn in marriage it's the wifes fault for failing them.
Balls empty and belly full ladies...don't be fucking lazy.
Downvote all you want ladies, do your damn job as a wife and satisfy your husband.
We all love digesting red pills here but seem to avoid swallowing the biggest one of them all.
Tom Leykis had this great bit once, where he said a woman who wants to keep her man can easily do so with a simple 8 words
Long Hair
Stay Thin
Sex Anytime
Shut up
I mean it's a bit for comedy, but its really true beyond just the literal interpretation.
Long Hair is about being feminine, because femininity attracts masculinity and men want to be with women. Feminine qualities are extremely sexy to just about every man you could come across, the same way masculine qualities are sexy to just about every woman you could come across. It's a lot easier to act like a man when you're with someone acting like a woman, but "submissive" has become a dirty word in the era of feminism and the career woman. You'd be surprised just how many girls are into bondage though because it's unarguably a submissive act for her to give herself over to a dominant man who ties her up and has his way with her. Chicks that dig this the most tend to be the ones in high powered careers too, because they almost never get the chance to experience being submissive in her day to day life.
Stay thin is about taking care of yourself and your appearance. Working hard to stay sexy is something that everybody wants their partner to do but is something that a lot of people have trouble actually doing. This isn't just a woman thing, but if a woman wants her man to be muscular and to lift heavy ass weights then the least that she could do is make sure that she doesn't balloon up, contrary to #HealthyAtEverySize and the horrifying recent Calvin Klein ads, it's generally not sexy to be fat. If your partner works hard to stay sexy and you don't, it's disrespectful.
Sex anytime is about men needing physical intimacy and this being both a great and an easy way to make him happy while doing something you both enjoy. I get being tired, being stressed, having to get up early, the kids are being rowdy, whatever excuses people come up with they can be valid. But "not tonight" quickly becomes "next week dear", quickly becomes "I'm just not a sexual person", quickly becomes this poor bastard only getting a pity handy once a year on his birthday. Men are sexual beings, and when a man cares about a woman he wants to experience that closeness and intimacy with a woman as often as he can. Repeated rejections tell us that you don't desire us, and that's about the easiest way to destroy the passion in a relationship that I can think of.
Shut up is about exactly what it sounds like. A man comes home after a tiresome day of dealing with the world, he wants peace and quiet. He wants to relax. If he wants to speak with you he will. You can have a conversation then, but if it isn't something that he needs to know about right away then give him some time to himself. Once he's had his alone time he's going to be a lot happier than he would be if you had started talking his ear off from the moment he walked in the door.
I've never seen a woman who did these things have an unhappy man in a relationship, and I'm sure every man here who has had a long term relationship no matter how it turned out can remember a time at the beginning when their woman did precisely these things. They know damn well what works and what doesn't. Remember that any woman can catch a dick but the trick is to make it to the endzone without fumbling.
Son, your kinda new to this "marriage" thing, are you not?
22 years, and I almost threw it away once.
Congrats. That's like 140 in dog years.
If you aren’t trying to maintain your figure and doing everything in your power to stay as attractive as possible for your wife and she isn’t doing the same for you, you’re contributing to the core problem. Never forget that humans are complex and that almost every problem is far deeper than what it seems on the surface. Complacency will kill a marriage.
It’s easy for somebody like me to give up porn. My lady is an absolute fox. I posted her on the 4th and pretty much everybody agreed! I’m tall, very muscular and generally accepted as attractive like her... we have a phenomenal sex life. It’s easy for the intimacy to die when you both let your appearance suffer. Get in shape, folks! Maximize your appearance if you love them! Be the you that they deserve!
speaking of degeneracy - whats with the porn video titles all being about about banging family members / step family members, that must be really fucking kids up
Yeah, I was told us southerners were into that. Turns out it is everyone except us.
PROJECTION!
OP, you got something to say? I mean, you want to confess? You should talk to your wife about it.
I struggle with temptation and sin every day. That’s why I need the savior, Jesus. Always. And He strengthens me and forgives me when I do stumble (which is a lot, just like every other human to ever lives besides Christ).
Thanks for your posts and sorry for all the sad lost commenters on here. Hubby and I have been through the journey. It's difficult but worth it. Marriages were dropping like flies all around us- we fought through and now we have something very few have. All of the anger, bitterness, and hopelessness many are spouting is because of their sad situations.
It is sad that you need a higher power to look to, to stop yourself from making shitty life choices. Perhaps if you placed your family and self higher on your priorities you would not need to do so.
Marriage in 2020 is all risk for men. Better off not marrying or at leave vetting your spouse... heavily, and then some more.
I will say this as clearly and eloquently as possible .
BITCH ,DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
throws dildo at Puritan
I like you
This is beyond retarded. My wife and I watch porn together, while we fuck.
Grow the fuck up and stop telling people how to live their lives.
If you are addicted to porn, get help, don't push your problems on me, I can handle it.
source: libertarian with a hot wife and a high sex drive
Seriously, libertarians tend to have their act together and succeed in life. The wealthiest professor that I had in college is a libertarian.
If you put God first, you will be certain to strenghten your bond with your wife!
Amen! Pray without ceasing, pede. Always.
I disagree. God should never be first over your family and yourself. That is the problem with much of today.
If you are serving God first, then everything else follows as He has commanded.
It is the right order, if you put your spouse first then who is it that you really worship?
There is a fundamental flaw in generalized advice to a wide range of people, and it's present in this advice as well. It ignores the individual. Maybe some couples watch porn together as a form of foreplay. Maybe a partner takes longer to reach completion and porn offers a way to start their portion of the race earlier than the other partner needs or can handle.
There are definitely some husband with porn addiction, maybe even many with it. But there are definitely many husbands without any porn addiction, and likely some wives with porn addiction.
This is 100% true. I think it's also true the clearest message conveyed by the post is that unintentionally destructive oversaturation of porn in your life doesn't have to be the norm. It's an encouraging poke of spatial awareness of perceived in a wholesome light. That doesn't negate anything you've said above and I'm glad you added it. Just continuing the balancing of good points in the thread.
LOL @ porn outrage.
also my ex-wife cheated on me... this isn't a "men" issue..
FFS
it's easy to blame men because they won't get at as mad at you if you say everything is their fault as opposed to how mad women will get if you correctly say that women are at least as fucked up if not more so
Ring on or off, husbands and wives have made a promise with the words of their mouths.
What if they watch it together? 😉
Marriage is for suckers. You can be in a committed relationship without placing half your shit on the chopping block.
NEVER GET MARRIED LEGALLY!
See: The Rational Male and learn about hypergamy
Bifurcate the circuit courts into family law and general jurisdiction in the '90s. In family court jurisdiction, the judge and spouse can void almost any legal arrangement regardless of statutory defenses on the basis of judicial equity.
Amen. The ring is also a sign to the rest of the world that their women are safe around you. We need to recapture this.
I drive truck 5-7 days a week OTR and for the most part i am completely alone during that time. Please dont take porn from me.
Hell no, my wife and I watch porn together.
The wife was a bitch. I turned her off instead heh
Finally, someone has dignity and standards.
My wife has threatened me with not have kids if Donald Trump wins in 2020. Her words "you can prevent that by not voting for him". Pedes... Someone give me some advice. This woman has change drastically
Yes less than 2 years the TDS has risen exponentially since then. also I was a lib until 2016 so I thought I could red pill her idk man
Ultimatums are a form of control, and that is unloving and unhealthy. I would suggest you get some serious counseling from a Christian source asap before you bring kids into the world with that woman that thinks she can control you.
Keep loving her well, and bring Jesus into the marriage.
My take? Read "Fire Your Wife", plan your escape and start nailing her sister and/or her best friend once the divorce is final
Sorry man..
She has TDS?
In all seriousness I don’t want kids but I’m a Trump voter...maybe she can tolerate that.
Be careful with those metal rings boys. I tripped getting off a ladder, the ring hung on a corner and I almost lost a finger. I will never put one on my finger again.
Acrylic all the way. Agreed
If I dont constantly watch porn, how am i supposed to get stimulating gratification from my phone on a website that visually satisfi...
Oh... right. That's why I'm here.
porn addiction is real
Sometimes it's the only action married guys can get. A whole lot of women have low libidos especially after kids and hormone changes of age. No amount of being caring and loving increases the odds of getting any in these relationships. /R/deadbedrooms was rife with these. Came down to taking care of your needs via porn or other material, cheating, divorce, or be trapped in involuntary celibacy.
That's so sad. These ladies should see their doctors if their libido is off track. Sometimes there is a medical problem, or a medication taken for some other condition has side effects of low libido.
You’re lecturing husbands? Husbands have changed little over the past three generations. Now, how have wives changed? They still want the protectorate (if only in the emotional not the physical) of having a husband but most doesn’t want the flip side of that equation. Can you blame the husbands for feeling neglected?
You are not wrong!
I gotta find a GF first...
Godspeed, sir!