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sagebrushfire 9 points ago +9 / -0

COVID is invidious; the worst plague that humanity has ever had to suffer through.

  • It kills, like, dozens of people every week.

  • It HATES old people. Can’t stand them. Saves it’s worst pathogens for them.

  • It also despises sick people and wreaks havoc amongst them.

  • It also hates minorities and kills them at a faster rate. It’s the first known virus that can distinguish the melanin in skin and your socio-economic status.

  • It can live on surfaces between 20 minutes and 48.7 years (according to what 7 million experts have told me.)

  • It hates people shaking hands or hugging so it kills them too. If you shake hands, you’re dead.

  • It obliterated the world economy.

Thankfully, it has several, severe weaknesses; flaws in its DNA which means that it can be stopped but only at great expense.

  • Magic scarves, masks and bandanas stop it in its tracks, (I prefer the paisley pattern. It has more magic.)

  • Its life expectancy is only 7 days...wait, CNN just reported that a new expert just said it could live for upwards of 2-4 million years or at least until November 4.

  • It’s a fickle virus so if you don’t like what you’re hearing about it, just wait a day or two and the talk about it will change.

  • It has a terrible time with distance. 6 feet at least from anyone else and you’re golden. Under that and you’re toast.

  • Republicans and conservatives are safe. It only kills people in “CNN ‘They were forgotten’ hit pieces.

  • Rally goers die by their thousands but rioters, sorry, protestors have immunity.