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122
fat50 122 points ago +122 / -0

Honestly, I was thinking the exact opposite.

It's much better than mine.

Maybe he's faking the senility.

40
deleted 40 points ago +50 / -10
84
Johnson 84 points ago +87 / -3

I do not think he is faking anything. He just does not run on what he actually believes, so it makes him sound like someone lying to the cops about why he is there. He also does not even know the platform as it changes and trips up on some of the completely illogical points.

No amount of brainpower could make someone argue this side smoothly.

80
SecondProtectsFirst 80 points ago +80 / -0

“Where ya headed tonight sir?”

“I was just, I was uh, I was driving to the hospital to go see my sick mother. Wait, not my mother, my sister. They switched on me!”

“Then why were you driving north when the hospital is south of here?”

“Is it? You lying dog faced...uh...look, fat, I had to go pick something up at the store first”

“Which store?”

“The uh, Safeway. No wait not the Safeway, that’s down the road, I used to work there...forgot where we were. I meant the Albertson’s.”

“What were you going to get there?”

“You know, the thing.”

“The...thing?”

“Cmon, man! Check my record!”

17
Gadsden 17 points ago +17 / -0

This comment is gold.

2
Dumdum 2 points ago +2 / -0

👏👏👏

29
pmurTJdlanoD 29 points ago +30 / -1

No way, he could be a Hollywood megastar if he can fake dementia this well.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
28
Dell_Fargus 28 points ago +28 / -0

Gives him plausible deniability for his bullshit in Ukraine and China. "Just pretend that you don't know here you're at."

5
PeanutbutterMAGAtime 5 points ago +5 / -0

It reminds me of Uncle Leo stealing books in Seinfeld, “I’m an old man! I thought I paid for these!”

2
Dumdum 2 points ago +2 / -0

"I don't remember" See? He's telling the truth!

22
DarkBerry 22 points ago +23 / -1

Likely one of his aides. He no longer has the capacity for that many thoughts, or he would have some of that in his brain.

14
TheMAGAnificent 14 points ago +14 / -0

The sub sections are perfectly lined up. Maybe it's one of those where you lose language skills but retain motor skills.

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deleted 50 points ago +50 / -0
13
SuddenlyClintoned 13 points ago +14 / -1

Definitely someone else writing it. That's much more likely than faking senility - and honestly, these are the sorts of talking points an aide would offer if he really were senile.

11
UpTrump 11 points ago +11 / -0

I think someone else wrote it