I wasn't kidding when I said I was getting a pet centipede. He was PISSED when I let him out of his shipping vial. Meet Nimble (unless you can come up with a better name).
(media.thedonald.win)
posted ago by The69thBrokage
+859 / -0
Comments (124)
sorted by:
shiver
Did you know they hunt and eat bats? Snag them right out of the air and eat them.
They're really impressive animals. This species mostly eats insects, but they'll eat what they can get. Very effective predators, as this community knows.
The bug world is fucking ruthless. These things would jack anything they can overpower. Reminds me of a video I saw of a praying mantis eating a snake, shit was fucked.
That's my every day lol I have 13 tarantulas, an Asian Forest Scorpion, and this little guy. Invertebrates are awesome, awesome captives.
I used to know a guy that raised stick and leaf insects. Some of the most bizarre and fascinating things I've ever seen. Some of them were huge!
He also had a black and white tegu that freely wandered around his house and used a litterbox like a cat.
My girlfriend and I are considering a tegu once our house is done.
His was like a damn dog. If you sat down he'd climb up into your lap and fall asleep or nudge your hand with his giant head until you petted him. Had his own food and water dishes in the kitchen and a heated pet bed he slept in lmao.
Good lord. That sounds wonderful. I need a pet dinosaur since my girlfriend is anti-dog.
I've never heard of this tegu creature. It's fascinating, thanks for sharing.
Mods, can we get this man some flair? The Bug Guy or something along those lines?
Not to push it, but... Beast Master? 🤔😂
u/Doggos, if anyone deserves it, it's this guy.
I had a free range mantis once. Just lived inside with us, no tank. I would feed him meal worms on my belly. He was full size. He was awesome, but They dont have long lifesoans
That's what's great about tarantulas. Females can live multiple decades.
All I can find recently are Asian forest scorpions. You used to be able to get emperors everywhere for 20 bucks, but I dunno what happened. I much prefer them, they're a lot easier to handle.
I'm not sure, because Emperors and AFSs both breed readily in captivity.
Read Michael Crichton's book MICRO, if you want to be impressed and freaked out by the insect world.
His books are amazing, I really enjoyed timeline. Sadly the movie was a serious hard meh
That's hundreds of millions of years of evolution at work. Some insects are pure killings machines. The tarantula hawks in the Southwest US are the stuff of nightmares.
I watched a great black wasp absolutely wreck a spider the other day. Stung it a few times then dragged it into a hole in the ground. It was the insect equivalent of watching a commie getting tossed into a van.
Or like this poor soul getting dragged away by a bug in Starship Troopers: https://youtu.be/-lDHoPPQIu8?t=97
On a side note, did the great black wasp have a Chrysler logo on it?
Yeah, they'll eat whatever they happen across, if it's in the right weight class.
They only hunt bats when their territory happens to have a cave that they wander in to. Then they will climb up the side and hang from the ceiling and just wait for a bat to fly in to them.
This species likes rocky overhangs for breeding, so I'm sure one of these fellas could snag a bat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UROVfmY3NTA
Holy hell! I thought you guys were making a joke about them hunting bats!
Centipedes > covid bats
We should release billions of these into China to stop those batfucking communists from spreading more diseases.
I live in Oregon and I see them out in the woods sometimes when I'm backpacking. It's hypnotizing to watch them move!
When you watch them up close, they really are exciting to watch.
The house centipedes creep me out tbh, but I know they're harmless and they kill pests.
My girlfriend has stopped killing spiders because now she finds them cute because of me. Lol
Ha! I leave them be unless they're near my bed. Though when my girlfriend is over, I'm on spider killing duty.
A fang for each gender- though, they're technically modified arms.
Paralyzing venom
im with ya on that. im not a fan of these hell devil beasts. i dont care if its the little desert ones, or the giant bat/bird eating jungle ones!
Culture moment
https://youtu.be/CSemARaqGqE
Welcome to thedonald.win Nimble!
He's settling in nicely. Being a 'pede he had to make sure his walls were secure before he got comfy. He just dug a burrow under his log.
Aw, nice!
Centipedes dehydrate easily, so I'm guessing he wanted to bury himself in the moist soil to help him acclimate.
Awesome, he sounds like he's settling in well. :)
Those fangs are clearly curved and hollow. May kek bless you and your new navigator.
He shall never be without bugs to munch on. I swear this oath taking on the role of Keeper of the Pede.
KNIFE PARTY...
I can not express how disappointed I am that you did not name him Donald 👎
That said, impressive length 👌
I don't know if it's a male or female (their tempers make them REEEEEEEEALLY hard to sex). Nimble could be a male or female name IMO.
It's 2020, centipedes can be whatever gender they want to be.
We're also Americans, they'll be whatever we damn well tell them to be.
Except centipedes are shitlords. They love gender roles (the females are actually very doting mothers to their eggs.)
what a Nimble little navigator
Did it come all the way from CHY-NA?
Nope! Nimble here is a Scolopendra heros castaneiceps (AKA the Texas Redheaded Centipede). I like to think the red head is a MAGA hat.
Fair enough. I like to think of it as a KAG cap.
I'll have to get a soomed in pic of his head to confirm. That'd require him to stop navigating so nimbly for a moment.
That's awesome. Would love to see video of Nimble being nimble sometime.
I'll take some video when. I offer him a meal. I'm sure everyone would enjoy seeing his two curved hollow fangs.
Sweet! Hey we have a den mother, why not a den preditor?
He'll deport Shareblue shills, but not after injecting them with paralyzing venom.
How many curved hollow fangs does it have. I’m guessing the same as the number of genders
Precisely the same number.
Can we get a live cam up through the election?
I'll give updates.
Welcome Nimble!
be sure to keep him away from the chinese bugwomen
Poor Scolopendra subspinipes.
F o7
Nimble Pepe Castaneiceps. Sounds Texican.
Pepe the Pede!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGgu4orIhxs
Oh god...
Strange contrast between that lifestyle and also having a damn youtube channel.
About a thousand of them sprang up when that random guy started that awesome primitive technology channel.
Yeah, the vietnamese ones are MASSIVE.
😦
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzKyy-WCv0A
Careful with those bastards. That gets out and starts roaming your house, you're fucked!
The lid is clipped. My girlfriend's cats would attack it too.
This is an often overlooked benefit of cats. At night my cat patrols for insects and really anything else she can kill. I've never seen a live bug in my house for the 5 years I've had her.
What I will sometimes find are dismembered centipedes or spiders in the hallway when I wake up. It's pretty dope that she keeps us safe. It'd be nicer if she ate them entirely instead of tearing off their legs and watching them die, but this is still helpful.
Mine would sneak outside and kill rabbits. Nowadays he's 100% indoor.
I think that could kill a cat...
He looks like a nimble navigator.
Can you just name him Adam Schifts Neck?
I liked it because it works for a male and a female, and centipedes are VERY hard to sex because they're so angry and never stay still.
wub wub wub CENTIPEDE!
WOW!
😮😉
I don't think you heard me. You're havin' a hard time tonight!
More energy tonight! I like it!
Only Rosie O'Donnell!
I haven't made fun of your looks, band believe me there's a lot to go on!
and I said, "Rand, I've had you up to here!"
Blood coming from her wherever.
Everyone here talking about their pet bugs is kind of endearing. It’s like what Reddit could be if there were no leftists.
I love seeing what all of my friends here are interested in or enjoy outside of politics
is it ass QUICk as Lightening?
Not so quick right now after being shipped, plus he's getting the lay of the land. But when he's hunting...
Nah. Wait until he's 8ft tall
I only feed him nutritious meals, not disgusting swamp creatures.
Ugh, fuck that. These damn things give me the heebiest jeebies.
Navigator sounds cool too
Please Tweet the Feedings? ... I am @RohdKill_USA on Twatter.
Have you trained it to shitpost yet?
We're working on that lol
Call him atlas
Anybody know what happened to the guy who made the Can’t Stump the Trump series on Youtube? I’m aching for some of that content heading into these last few months before the election.
I think he hopped off the train after the first Syria strike IIRC
He was a college student during that time. He probably graduated, got a job, and after his first real paycheck he decided to lay low and be left alone.
Navigator
Pedey Wheatstraw, The Donald's Son-in-law.
HA! Awesome.
I Hope you and the little guy have a long and successful time navigating life
I hope so too. I've been doing my research on them, so hopefully I can have him for a decade or two.
i shall call him mini me
Call him Barry... you can always change it to something else later if it is more advantageous....
Nibble is a good name.
Where did you buy this from?
I had to scour arachnoboards forbade seller
That's a red head, we get those down here in central Texas. Don't let it bite you now, fuckers are one of the worst bites in Texas. Ask Hillary, bit her ass in 2016!
You need a second one named Navigator
Shiva
Fang
Nibbles the Nimble Navigator
Bigly Big League
Pedey Pie
No Toca Me
Million Pepe
Your choice is good; just adding to the brain-storm.