I was sitting at home watching the news with my buddy when I saw the cutest reporter, well, at least I thought she was. She was wearing a mask. But all I knew was she gave me that urge, that one we all know. The urge to mask debate.

I turned to my friend and looked deep into his eyes, and slowly removed my mask. He glared passionately back as I saw the urges arise within him as well. Things were getting hot and heavy.

Before I could even get one off, he immediately launched into a vigorous mask debate, masquerading behind his liberal talking points. It was like watching a monkey choke a chicken while being spanked. A very sticky situation to be in.

Before he could finish, I interjected “You wouldn’t masturbate with a condom and you shouldn’t mask debate with a mask.”

This enraged him so much he couldn’t breath, and his face started to turn red and blue as his eyes swelled with blood vessels the closer he came to bursting.

I decided to be a jerk, and run circles around him with facts and logic. I beat his meat noodle into submission finally with studies showing the ineffectiveness of masks.

In the end, we came together and realized this was pretty gay.