I am a single dad in a school district that is now closed for the foreseeable future. I have no family within 3,000 miles and I have to work. My child isn’t old enough to stay at home by themselves. What is a person supposed to do? I’m honestly livid. Do I just quit my job and go broke? Or do I continue to go broke paying for endless daycare? It’s an impossible situation.
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Get a "co-op" going with other parents. Either one stays one day per week or pool resources to hire somebody.
This right here, my mother in law did this with 4 friends.
dan bongino mentioned this
A friend is actually thinking of doing this for her 3 (going on 4) year old. Kids need each other to develop and learn.
And you have more say/control on what's being taught. Not have to go through politicized/PC school district system.
As much as I hate saying this...
It's possible to game the system and get paid by the state to be a Daycare Business, and take care of your own child too. Find those other parents, and yes, stay home a day a week as day care for your and their children, but at the same time, make sure all of you get in on this.
You'll actually be taking care of children who actually need child care because their parents are actually working, so it'll be much, much more moral than all-week every-week of Taquiena taking care of Shariva's kids while Shariva's taking care of Taquiena's kids, and we're footing the bill. But it's still a shitty thing in this bullshit era. A Necessary Evil, I'd say.
What region are you in? If you were in mine, my family would help care for your child any time. We don't have enough pede friends - we'd gladly help just to know more pedes and assist our families in any way we could
This needs to be more available.
Your employer pays you at 2/3 of your salary for 12 weeks to sit home and take care of your kid. They submit for reimbursement from the federal government as a DIRECT TAX CREDIT (not deduction, a credit! - meaning they'll clear the books in the spring when they file taxes).
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/pandemic/ffcra-employer-paid-leave
through December 31, 2020.
Your company cannot fire you for this either! They can't even ask that you try other avenues. Denying you this benefit, approved by congress puts them in a world of legal shit show.
You need to approach your management and HR and directly request this. Of course they will have no interest in helping you because it means they need to submit paperwork.
DEMAND IT!
Ok I have a legit question.
Suppose OP lives in Michigan (my state) which is an at-will employment state. I've heard it said and seen it written that this means my employer can terminate me anytime without giving a reason.
If OP lives in Michigan and makes the assertions you recommend, couldn't his boss just let him go for no "for no reason?" It seems to me like it would be difficult to sue them if OP is completely unable to prove the reason he was fired.
It would be discriminatory. Usually when they let you go, they have to show some sort of cause.
Probably even better "fuck you" in that case
The company pays him anyway (via their unemployment) for up to 26 weeks instead of 12. AND its not a tax credit to the employer so they dont recoup the cost in April.
Running a business sucks. Business' pay into unemployment regardless, whether you have all full career employees and never terminated anyone or if you fire employees weekly.
There is no reason for a company not to do this other than the tax paperwork. There is absolutely no reason any company in the united states to pay full payroll taxes in 2020.
Unions are bad and right to work can screw you over.
This is terrible, pede. So sorry for this dilemma. And it hightlights just how important extended family (if they are good people) can be in our lives. A grandma and grandpa would probably love the opportunity to spend more time with the kiddles.
Honestly. I don't know what to tell you. Is your employer big enough that you could petition them for some type of daycare / psuedo school for your child and other employees kids?
What about a friend group / neighborhood group option? Do you have a circle of people who can work together to come to a solution and share the responsibilites - like a small home school. This can be scary if you don't know the people well and are certain that they won't hurt your child.
Or get together with a group of parents and raise holy hell. We all pay taxes and property taxes for schools to be OPEN and to be doing their jobs, which is a responsibility to educate our children. This is devastating.
If you're not familiar with him, look up Scott Atlas from the Hoover Institiute at Standford and what he says about opening schools. Present THAT to your local officials / school board and then demand they tell you why they closed schools. He makes an excellent argument to get them opened.
What about a private school option? Any good Christian schools in your area - or are they also mandated to be closed?
Wishing you all the best, pede. Pray for guidance. Even if you don't believe in God, this might just be the time to get on your knees and sincerely ask Him if he exists. He'll answer. Peace.
I don't know why anyone would downvote this. Somebody taking their time to write something to help someone they don't even know should be upvoted. SMH +1
It's only getting downvoted by people who think schools and gov't programs should babysit. Great, conservative, wholesome advice is given here.
OP, good luck with this. Are you a member of a church you might be able to turn to?
Thanks, pede. :o)
It's a long and thoughtful answer, too. :)
Yeah, I really felt for him. Can imagine being in that situation. Life is hard enough. Having loving extended family close by is so important. I know because I never have. It's not an option for everyone, but if you've got it, you've got to hang on to it. And if you don't have it, you have to get creative real quick. The main thing is, he can't endanger his child by entrusting him/or with just anybody and he loves his child so he knows s/he needs to be educated. It's a tough situation.
Sorry to hear that. Support of family is something I take for granted. I forget not everybody has it. But there's something to be said about achieving something on your own. Satisfying, I bet.
Yes, parents should be wary. There are predators everywhere. And with young children who are impressionable, some who can't express themselves very well, a parent has to be extra careful with whom they'll entrust their children.
I pray for the little ones each day. There is so much evil out there. So much more than many people realize. That is the genius of evil, to come in disguise. Thanks for the kind words on family. I'm used to it, but not a day goes by that I don't wonder what it would be like to have it. They say you can't miss what you've never had. I say you certainly can. But I have my faith, which buoys me. Thanks, pede.
You will have your family soon. In the meantime, and hopefully, for always, you have us. :)
Thank you for the great advice! I greatly appreciate it. The private schools are kind of in limbo at the moment. Our churches have been closed since March and the staff is working very limited hours. My family would love to help out, however, I have to stay in the state I’m in due to the “situation” I’m in. I will definitely be taking your advice, though! I really appreciate it.
You're very welcome. I sincerely hope you find a good solution. All the best.
There are various lawsuits against school districts asking them to provide free childcare during school hours.
You might search the internet and see if there is one in your district.
Good luck. This sucks.
“Free” is a joke because right now these schools are getting all this tax money and offering no services. In fact, during our previous quarantine school year, my child’s teacher was hard to reach and often canceled their one zoom a week. I was so livid with having to source my own lesson plans, I wrote the school board and told them THEY should be paying ME.
Fucking teachers unions are the WORST unions.
Yup. The head of our school district (LAUSD) just sent an email that bragged that schools can reopen for in class instruction at anytime if they aren't on an LHJ (Local Health Jurisdiction) monitoring list.
But Los Angeles Unified School District is in Los Angeles County, with the LHJ second highest infection rate in the state at 312 per 1,000.
You will have better luck if you are 1) in a red state 2) outside the major metro areas.
Check if there is a class action lawsuit near you for a property tax rebate to pay for expenses to find alternatives for your child.
We have a different problem, one of my older grandkids has gained 30 pounds from sitting on her ass in front of a computer, instead of being out walking around the campus! There's just so much wrong with schools being closed!!!
If you have colleges nearby (or even better a local Christian college) you may be able to find babysitting help there. I know this would probably be only part of the solution but college-age babysitters are great because they need the money, they have experience, and they (usually) are more responsible and might be able to work flexible hours if you need to adjust your work schedule.
We found a babysitter this way through care.com, and interviewed her at length in person, and also had her over and took her to dinner with our daughter so we could see how they interacted and what type of person she was before we ever left our child with her. It’s worked out really well. If you have a close friend willing to go with you to interview that helps because you get a second person’s perspective that you trust.
Best of luck. So sorry for your rough situation.
What state? Maybe there’s stimulus support for free daycare coverage?
Feel around and try to find a home school pod you can trust (as much as is possible given the time frame). Multiple children taught by one or rotating parents. I'm betting you'll find more compassion and give you kids a better education that way.
You are not alone. Start searching for affordable service near your. A lot of people started making improvised daycares in their homes.
As others advised, get connected with other parents and take turns in sitting a maybe one day in a week.
Have you checked with social services in your state to see if you're eligible for financial assistance for daycare? Have you talked to your employer to see if they may be aware of any assistance programs that could help with this situation? There have to be a lot of single parents in your state who are in this situation, so I would think somebody must be working on a solution. Have you tried contacting your state legislator's office?
Many families are putting ads on Craigs list or similar asking for someone with some educational training to come to their home for a few hours a day to work with their child on one one. Not sure if you have the means to do that or not, but some families are joining up with others in their neighborhood and forming a 'pod' of a few students and one teacher...it's better than nothing at all!
Oh, and what state are you in? That info would help fellow pedes help you.
Eat the babies. We have to eat the babies.
Get a babysitter? I know it's hard to find one you trust, but they can sometimes be cheaper than daycare. Email the local college Republicans, FCA, grad students association, or your local church to see if anyone needs a job.
I’ve seen people mention co-ops but I wonder if there are options for community schools. Like one person with a teaching degree teaching one class and you can all pay him/her directly. Maybe there is a tax workaround too? Idk pede this is fucked up.
Wife and I saw this coming in April and basically knew we were going to be in a similar position. Applied for and got new jobs, moved in with my parents who had a big empty house (lots of grown siblings now gone), rented out our house, and sent our very young kids to a redpilled christian montessori school for cheaper than daycare was at our place up north, and the school is determined not to close. Felt weird and shameful to move back in with parents but cutting housing and childcare expenses and getting raises from new jobs was the right move in this insane time. During the transition we paid a lot in extra childcare but we were making a plan and knew it would be temporary.
I share just to let you know that even some married couples are having to make extraordinary changes to make it through. I’m sorry you’re in this shitty situation. I hope you can find a plan, however strange, to keep things going and improve the situation.
Get in touch with the ACLJ. They are providing free representation against school districts putting parents in this situation. I'm not sure exactly what they are doing, but at the least, they are trying to get some funds channeled to parents to cover extra expenses associated with school closures. https://aclj.org/school-choice/radio-recap-aclj-take-action-for-students-rights
Talk to your local church to see if they have any solutions.
Start looking for local homeschooling groups online. Many new ones are forming up all over because of this.
Our school district is opening up but will "expect" masking, have installed plexiglass or other forms of barricades everywhere, and have implemented so many guidelines that it will be a miserable year for the students. They have also offered up a virtual academy but the program leaves put a large section of students (only for those in general education and not special programs) so I too am struggling with a decision to make in next 2 1/2 weeks.
Because I will not allow my son to masks, "pods" (as the homeschool groups here started calling themselves) is also out as they ain't having it. 🙄
I wish I could. I would do anything to homeschool my child. Anything. But the bills don’t get paid if I do. All I’ve heard during this whole shutdown is how parents don’t want to teach their kids. It breaks me heart. I’d give anything to teach my kid. Anything. But then we wouldn’t have a place to live.
No, I mean find a local homeschool co-op. May be able to get her/him into a homeschool group in another parents/group home.
I pray you find a solution that works for child as well as allows you to go to work to provide for her/him.
Vote for Trump.
Other pedes have great suggestions here.
Trump must win or teacher’s unions will have us by the balls. Oh, but gender reassignment surgery for your child will be completely free!
Same boat brother same boat. I will hopefully be lucky enough to work from home half the time but I may not be. I feel worse for the pedes who don’t have jobs that you can work from home.
You will get through it, love on your kid first and foremost and I promise in time things will work itself out. Hang in there brother, we are almost out of this.
Others have mentioned this but:
Find neighbors in similar straits; pool resources, There has to be a retired school teacher as appalled as you out there.
We need to get back to knowing and trusting our neighbors and community again. Obviously vet them heavily.
Send them to the coal mines?
Ask your Congressman.
Good luck my friend, there are some great suggestions in here and I can't think of any better so just wishing you and your kid the best! Hope things turn out well for you both! God bless!
Might be a bit iffy feeling but maybe go on your towns Facebook and make a post looking for a baby sitter
No. Don't don't do this. Don't EVER do this. Too dangerous.
I was married. I was in the military. You can imagine how that ended.