Today my college sent out its list of coronavirus restrictions. Some are fairly reasonable, but some are so utterly retarded that I thought y'all would appreciate them.

1: Masks are mandatory EVERYWHERE. Like, if I'm alone by myself outside taking a jog, I can still be punished for not wearing a mask. Here's a quote: "Do I have to wear a mask? Yes. Absolutely. All the time. Everywhere. Yes." Don't ya just love the enthusiasm?

2: All students have to fill out a daily health form to be allowed to take classes. I have to tell the school my temperature, if I've felt any symptoms, where I've gone, who I've been with, etc. I have to do this to be allowed into class.

3: All athletic competitions are cancelled for the season. I was gonna go into college athletics, but this told me that I shouldn't. Honestly, I'm glad I got out, they were probably gonna make us wear masks while practicing, wouldn't that be fun.

4: It is implied that once a vaccine comes out, taking it will be mandatory. This wasn't fully stated, but it was pretty clear the message they were getting across. Basically, they said that once the student body had been vaccinated, we would be allowed to act like normal human beings again. But not before! Couldn't let those stupid kids kill each other with a disease that has a 99.98% survival rate.