"Please come, sit down. We have reports that you've been spending hours of your day posting on a website called thedonald.win"

"Yes...yes I have. Look, I-"

"We're prepared to offer you a 15% raise and we want to move you to a permanent role as a TDW poster and commenter. You can work from home if you want. You'll get access to our pre-Obamacare benefits package. We need your expertise in this organisation."