For what its worth, you cannot talk people out of their delusions using reason when they didnt get into their delusions with reason.
The best advice I can give you is that you are not responsible for your mother's psychological well being. The best you can do is express your view point, but whether it sticks or not is up to her.
Focus on things you can control - your own well being. Don't worry about things you cannot control - other people's thoughts, feelings and actions.
The only way to comfort your mum is to use emotions. The best option is to sit her down one day and ask her how she is feeling. And let her talk, just let her keep talking, no matter how ridiculous it may sound. Just listen to her, and tell her that you feel for the pain in her heart and that you only hope she feels better.
If this opens her up to be more receptive to hearing you, then you can slowly point out the flaws in her thinking, but otherwise, just leave it at that.
May I also suggest learning about mindfulness ? During these stressful times it will help you immensely to find peace. Its nothing spiritual, its a simple technique of watching your own thoughts without judgement. It can be done with meditation, but not necessary.
I was huge into mindfulness about five years ago after going through problems with pills and voluntarily entering a rehab where I learned Cognitive Behavioral Treatment which really opened my mind to my bad thoughts. At the same time I started reading Ekhart Tolle’s books and audio CD’s. Read all of them and was really changed again to where I could control my emotions easily. I meditated for a few years but stopped. I need to get back to doing that.
I did go through CBT as well, and the therapist who helped me with that was big into mindfulness. I am glad you have learnt all these! I will start reading Ekhart Tolle as well, haven't yet gotten around to it.
Your mother's emotional and intellectual maturation appears to have ceased around high school, when her craving for peer approval became more important than her self-esteem. She's not disciplined enough to undertake the responsibility of researching the issues in order to be a functional citizen, so her herd instinct is her fallback position. Your independence of thought has made her very insecurely aware of her own limitations; but her ego (and laziness) appear to have convinced her that it's easier to try to force you to capitulate rather than undertaking any hard-earned growth, herself.
👍 Leftism is a magnet for the immature who want to be thought of as 'hip' and 'aware'. Much of their virtue signaling derives from this aspect of their flawed character. They go with the herd on issues so that they can hide their limitations and project an image of knowledgeability.
This is very well written. I am sorry to hear that TDS is causing family issues. You gotta think the madness will end - hopefully after the election or the coronavirus. Be gentle with the ones you love.
last year i had dinner with old friends from out of town...they invited another old friend of theirs who also lived in my city...the day went fine until we met up with this woman..within seconds of meeting me she asked who i would be voting for in 2020...i politely told her that i hadn't seen my friends in a long time and would just like to catch up with them, as i imagined she did too. It was the most insane transformation of a human being that i have ever seen...she actually lunged across a table at me, claws out...she "knew" i was a supporter of that "orange haired devil"...it went on from there... until i stood up and told everyone to enjoy their dinner and left...what i saw was serious mental illness and self-loathing...this woman hated herself and life. Pede, do what you can if you want but you are as free as a bird to live your life as a living, breathing human being.
That woman clamped onto me like a pitbull, without knowing anything about me
....it's what insane family members and strangers do. It left me shaken for a couple of days...but it wised me up...no more having my courtesy being taken for weakness. You did nothing wrong...grab some righteous strength from not sinking to their level...they don't care...about anyone!
As traumatic as that sounded a video of it would have been a big hit here.
From what I have seen in countless videos most if not all of the Pantifa BLM types are completely unhinged psychopaths on major mind altering drugs. Just constant incoherent screaming bloody murder for hours at people ignoring them.
I feel for the officers. It would be like working at a hardcore insane asylum where you were unprotected and the mental patients were encouraged to reave on you.
I cannot believe political views tear family and friends apart. My parents are liberals who HATE republicans and Trump and I argue with them all the time about him but we still love each other and help each other out.
I grew up moderate but usually voted Democrat. (I hated the Bushes and still do) And I think I am still a registered Democrat but I have no interest in voting democrat again. My dad says I’m an idiot but he knows I’m the smartest out of his kids. My brother is a trump supporter too. My sisters hated Trump. Lol and they’re deadbeats. Sooooooo.
Anyway, the fact that people’s intolerance within their family and friend circle saddens me. Most of my friends voted for Trump but the ones who didn’t don’t go batshit crazy because I did. 🙄 they’re smart enough to know the media is lying!
I lost a lot of friends and ultimately got off of social media completely because of stuff like that. Brought some friends closer- and so continues the division. Glad to read your whole rant. The other side probably will not, but if it helps you vent, we’re here for you. It’s funny to see the people in our parent’s generation who are absolute raving leftists. If you ever need something short to fire at them, remember what Winston Churchill said- “A man who is a conservative at 20 has no heart. A man who is a liberal at 40 has no brain.” That really pissed off my PoliSci professor who was a raving liberal when I quoted it in front of the class after the 100th time he proclaimed his liberal stance and love for obama😂
For what its worth, you cannot talk people out of their delusions using reason when they didnt get into their delusions with reason.
The best advice I can give you is that you are not responsible for your mother's psychological well being. The best you can do is express your view point, but whether it sticks or not is up to her.
Focus on things you can control - your own well being. Don't worry about things you cannot control - other people's thoughts, feelings and actions.
The only way to comfort your mum is to use emotions. The best option is to sit her down one day and ask her how she is feeling. And let her talk, just let her keep talking, no matter how ridiculous it may sound. Just listen to her, and tell her that you feel for the pain in her heart and that you only hope she feels better.
If this opens her up to be more receptive to hearing you, then you can slowly point out the flaws in her thinking, but otherwise, just leave it at that.
Thanks. I think I will wait to do this on 11/4.
May I also suggest learning about mindfulness ? During these stressful times it will help you immensely to find peace. Its nothing spiritual, its a simple technique of watching your own thoughts without judgement. It can be done with meditation, but not necessary.
I was huge into mindfulness about five years ago after going through problems with pills and voluntarily entering a rehab where I learned Cognitive Behavioral Treatment which really opened my mind to my bad thoughts. At the same time I started reading Ekhart Tolle’s books and audio CD’s. Read all of them and was really changed again to where I could control my emotions easily. I meditated for a few years but stopped. I need to get back to doing that.
Ah, you are in good hands then :)
I did go through CBT as well, and the therapist who helped me with that was big into mindfulness. I am glad you have learnt all these! I will start reading Ekhart Tolle as well, haven't yet gotten around to it.
Your mother's emotional and intellectual maturation appears to have ceased around high school, when her craving for peer approval became more important than her self-esteem. She's not disciplined enough to undertake the responsibility of researching the issues in order to be a functional citizen, so her herd instinct is her fallback position. Your independence of thought has made her very insecurely aware of her own limitations; but her ego (and laziness) appear to have convinced her that it's easier to try to force you to capitulate rather than undertaking any hard-earned growth, herself.
You nailed it. This is exactly my unprofessional psychological diagnosis as well.
👍 Leftism is a magnet for the immature who want to be thought of as 'hip' and 'aware'. Much of their virtue signaling derives from this aspect of their flawed character. They go with the herd on issues so that they can hide their limitations and project an image of knowledgeability.
This is very well written. I am sorry to hear that TDS is causing family issues. You gotta think the madness will end - hopefully after the election or the coronavirus. Be gentle with the ones you love.
So send your mom videos on FB or Twitter or whatever and just spam her with them. She will block you or shut the fuck up.
last year i had dinner with old friends from out of town...they invited another old friend of theirs who also lived in my city...the day went fine until we met up with this woman..within seconds of meeting me she asked who i would be voting for in 2020...i politely told her that i hadn't seen my friends in a long time and would just like to catch up with them, as i imagined she did too. It was the most insane transformation of a human being that i have ever seen...she actually lunged across a table at me, claws out...she "knew" i was a supporter of that "orange haired devil"...it went on from there... until i stood up and told everyone to enjoy their dinner and left...what i saw was serious mental illness and self-loathing...this woman hated herself and life. Pede, do what you can if you want but you are as free as a bird to live your life as a living, breathing human being. That woman clamped onto me like a pitbull, without knowing anything about me ....it's what insane family members and strangers do. It left me shaken for a couple of days...but it wised me up...no more having my courtesy being taken for weakness. You did nothing wrong...grab some righteous strength from not sinking to their level...they don't care...about anyone!
As traumatic as that sounded a video of it would have been a big hit here.
From what I have seen in countless videos most if not all of the Pantifa BLM types are completely unhinged psychopaths on major mind altering drugs. Just constant incoherent screaming bloody murder for hours at people ignoring them.
I feel for the officers. It would be like working at a hardcore insane asylum where you were unprotected and the mental patients were encouraged to reave on you.
Thanks I’ll check it out
I cannot believe political views tear family and friends apart. My parents are liberals who HATE republicans and Trump and I argue with them all the time about him but we still love each other and help each other out.
I grew up moderate but usually voted Democrat. (I hated the Bushes and still do) And I think I am still a registered Democrat but I have no interest in voting democrat again. My dad says I’m an idiot but he knows I’m the smartest out of his kids. My brother is a trump supporter too. My sisters hated Trump. Lol and they’re deadbeats. Sooooooo.
Anyway, the fact that people’s intolerance within their family and friend circle saddens me. Most of my friends voted for Trump but the ones who didn’t don’t go batshit crazy because I did. 🙄 they’re smart enough to know the media is lying!
I lost a lot of friends and ultimately got off of social media completely because of stuff like that. Brought some friends closer- and so continues the division. Glad to read your whole rant. The other side probably will not, but if it helps you vent, we’re here for you. It’s funny to see the people in our parent’s generation who are absolute raving leftists. If you ever need something short to fire at them, remember what Winston Churchill said- “A man who is a conservative at 20 has no heart. A man who is a liberal at 40 has no brain.” That really pissed off my PoliSci professor who was a raving liberal when I quoted it in front of the class after the 100th time he proclaimed his liberal stance and love for obama😂
If your folks are leftists then disown them.