I know it's probably his mom's or his wife's boyfriend's car, but can we stop and take a moment to appreciate the fact that on the off chance it isn't then that means this absolute soy manlet owns that fucking thing? Is it a Subaru station wagon? A Chevy minivan crossover?? What is it?
Maybe he's the third wheel in a lesbian love affair and they use him to go get the groceries and pick up the dogs from daycare so he needs the extra storage space. The bull handles things like picking up lumber and power tools in her truck
Not a butch lesbian, but they're very practical cars. All-wheel drive is great getting out of snow-banks after plowing in a city and the hatchback is great for moving shit for work or fun.
Here in Seattle I hate it when a douchearu pulls out in front of me. They inevitably do it when there is nobody behind you but they still must pull out right befor you drive by. And then... they drop to 5 mph under the speed limit.
Half of them have an unused Thule On top. These are known as king douchearus.
Heaven forbid you get stuck behind two, also known as getting double douchearud. Wreck inevitable.
I lived in Portland, Oregon back in the 90’s and knew a girl who drove a Subaru Forester and she said lesbians would hit on her all the time because of it. She said the lesbians were more aggressive than any man had ever been to her. She sold the car and got a Volvo and hasn’t been hit on since.
Oh god, sorry about that. Seattle of the East. Fuck that place. I’m down around Salisbury. I hate every time I’m that way for work. Hippies ruined that place.
I've only known one man to drive a subaru, and he was a creepy leftist who looked through a female coworkers phone pictures when she left it charging on his computer.
I think they like the Soybaru because it's a truck that doesn't have to be a truck. You see, if you drive a pickup truck that means you're a dumb hick... right? Where I come from it just means your an American Man. Like ol' Charlie Daniels said, God rest his soul:
Now look here, I had a first-gen bugeye WRX back in the day and that car was a blast and a bargain. Light and snappy and gasket heads be damned. Subarus are (used to be?) great cars; their reputation from denizens of the Pacific Northwest is unfortunate: accurate, but an unfortunate tarnishing of a decent carmaker.
Ok, I just looked at the current WRX and wow! That's ugly! I doubt anyone under 30 is aspiring to drive something that looks that boring.
I used to think they were just silly hippie/yuppie cars until I watched the Top Gear Africa special. One of them had a Subaru and it really did well, handled some terrible roads, pulled the other cars out numerous times.
I’m the most MAGA woman I know and I’ve got a gorgeous red Outback V6 w/leather interior, heated seats, sunroof, blasting stereo, the works. That thing cuts through snow and ice like butter and makes driving narrow switchback mountain roads a breeze. Best car evah!
I know it's probably his mom's or his wife's boyfriend's car, but can we stop and take a moment to appreciate the fact that on the off chance it isn't then that means this absolute soy manlet owns that fucking thing? Is it a Subaru station wagon? A Chevy minivan crossover?? What is it?
Maybe he's the third wheel in a lesbian love affair and they use him to go get the groceries and pick up the dogs from daycare so he needs the extra storage space. The bull handles things like picking up lumber and power tools in her truck
He may be too depressed. Clearly, the whole sorry episode just left him flat.
<rimshot>
(Thank you, I'll let myself out...)
Lesbaru.
You guys it's right in front of your face: Soybaru.
Imprezive pun, pede.
Subaru. The official vehicle of butch lesbians.
I had a years long crush on a Portland girl. We only met once when she visited out east. She works at REI.
It's a shame too because they are awesome fucking vehicles.
Fuck interference engines.
(I’ve worked on way too many of them that were not maintained. So many bent valves... It’s not that hard to keep up on timing belt issues...)
Maybe some of them. I still don’t get why you want your pistons facing your fenders. I hear they are difficult to service for that reason.
Not a butch lesbian, but they're very practical cars. All-wheel drive is great getting out of snow-banks after plowing in a city and the hatchback is great for moving shit for work or fun.
Okay Ellen
Here in Seattle I hate it when a douchearu pulls out in front of me. They inevitably do it when there is nobody behind you but they still must pull out right befor you drive by. And then... they drop to 5 mph under the speed limit.
Half of them have an unused Thule On top. These are known as king douchearus.
Heaven forbid you get stuck behind two, also known as getting double douchearud. Wreck inevitable.
Prius, many, many Prius.
I bet the fags drive Saabs and Volvos too.
I lived in Portland, Oregon back in the 90’s and knew a girl who drove a Subaru Forester and she said lesbians would hit on her all the time because of it. She said the lesbians were more aggressive than any man had ever been to her. She sold the car and got a Volvo and hasn’t been hit on since.
Oh god, sorry about that. Seattle of the East. Fuck that place. I’m down around Salisbury. I hate every time I’m that way for work. Hippies ruined that place.
I've only known one man to drive a subaru, and he was a creepy leftist who looked through a female coworkers phone pictures when she left it charging on his computer.
I think they like the Soybaru because it's a truck that doesn't have to be a truck. You see, if you drive a pickup truck that means you're a dumb hick... right? Where I come from it just means your an American Man. Like ol' Charlie Daniels said, God rest his soul:
I was raised on beans and cornbread
And I like my chicken fried
Yes, I drive a pickup truck
And I'm full of American pride
I keep a Bible on my table
I got a flag out on my lawn
And I don't believe in mindin'
No one's business but my own
Oh, for people minding their own business - the dream.
I had one of the old five door WRXs. They are top notch amazing cars for under $30K. I miss that thing.
Now look here, I had a first-gen bugeye WRX back in the day and that car was a blast and a bargain. Light and snappy and gasket heads be damned. Subarus are (used to be?) great cars; their reputation from denizens of the Pacific Northwest is unfortunate: accurate, but an unfortunate tarnishing of a decent carmaker.
Ok, I just looked at the current WRX and wow! That's ugly! I doubt anyone under 30 is aspiring to drive something that looks that boring.
Mine was a mormon guy. Real nice fellow, he was from Tennessee.
SOYBARU
Also if this is in Washington or Oregon I'm not even surprised. Those 2 states keep Subaru alive with the amount of Outbacks they purchase
Same with New England.
Just know you really cannot trust people in the NW who drive a Subaru or Prius
Subaru is Love. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I prefer Emilia.
My beautiful MAGA wife drives a Subaru Forester. I offered to get her a "Not A Lesbian" plate for the front. She just laughed... We're happy warriors.
Oh good, I’m not the only conservative female who has one.
They’re great cars. Truly a shame they’ve been adopted by the left as some kind of weird technological spirit animal.
You can always drive around and arrest commies out of it to rehabilitate its image.
That would be fun, wouldn’t it?
That's awesome 🤣. You totally should
I used to think they were just silly hippie/yuppie cars until I watched the Top Gear Africa special. One of them had a Subaru and it really did well, handled some terrible roads, pulled the other cars out numerous times.
I’m the most MAGA woman I know and I’ve got a gorgeous red Outback V6 w/leather interior, heated seats, sunroof, blasting stereo, the works. That thing cuts through snow and ice like butter and makes driving narrow switchback mountain roads a breeze. Best car evah!
The best backseat a man can get pegged in.