I'm having a bit of a tough time today. My boyfriend finally decided that us having 'agreed to disagree' over politics isn't enough, and he just can't deal with me holding a different opinion. He said he had no wish to change my opinion and that I have every right to disagree, but that he just can't live with it and it's too big a divide.
We've had political disagreements in the past and while I thought we'd always managed to resolve the issue and move on, he's apparently held onto those grievances and stewed over them. Since lockdown started he's had way more free time to spend on social media and has become increasingly hard-line in his beliefs and negative in his outlook. Even pointing out simple facts that contradict leftist narratives has resulted in him ranting at me for 2-3 hours, before finally calming down and apologizing. I'm heartbroken for our relationship and for him - that he's been so thoroughly brainwashed he feels nothing but anger and pessimism, that he's now ashamed of his country, and feels guilty for things he hasn't done.
I feel like I've lost my best friend because of Facebook. This sucks.
[EDIT: Thank you everyone for your very kind replies. You've given me some good food for thought, and helped me feel a little less isolated and adrift. It may take me a little while, but I'll try to reply to you all as I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you all again!]
[EDIT 2: I'm absolutely overwhelmed with the kindness of all your replies, thank you all so much! It's so refreshing to receive so much support from like-minded people, when I'm usually mired in the constant negativity of living in a deep blue state.]
[EDIT 3: Well, this absolutely blew up over the last few hours. I'm so, so humbled by the warmth and care you've all shown me - this really is the greatest community! Although it hurt to see him take his things and leave this morning, I already feel a little better and lighter, and that's in no small part thanks to all of your comments. I can't reply to each of you individually anymore, but thank you all.]
I'm having a bit of a tough time today. My boyfriend finally decided that us having 'agreed to disagree' over politics isn't enough, and he just can't deal with me holding a different opinion. He said he had no wish to change my opinion and that I have every right to disagree, but that he just can't live with it and it's too big a divide.
We've had political disagreements in the past and while I thought we'd always managed to resolve the issue and move on, he's apparently held onto those grievances and stewed over them. Since lockdown started he's had way more free time to spend on social media and has become increasingly hard-line in his beliefs and negative in his outlook. Even pointing out simple facts that contradict leftist narratives has resulted in him ranting at me for 2-3 hours, before finally calming down and apologizing. I'm heartbroken for our relationship and for him - that he's been so thoroughly brainwashed he feels nothing but anger and pessimism, that he's now ashamed of his country, and feels guilty for things he hasn't done.
I feel like I've lost my best friend because of Facebook. This sucks.
[EDIT: Thank you everyone for your very kind replies. You've given me some good food for thought, and helped me feel a little less isolated and adrift. It may take me a little while, but I'll try to reply to you all as I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you all again!]
[EDIT 2: I'm absolutely overwhelmed with the kindness of all your replies, thank you all so much! It's so refreshing to receive so much support from like-minded people, when I'm usually mired in the constant negativity of living in a deep blue state.]
[EDIT 3: Well, this absolutely blew up over the last few hours. I'm so, so humbled by the warmth and care you've all shown me - this really is the greatest community! Although it hurt to see him take his things and leave this morning, I already feel a little better and lighter, and that's in no small part thanks to all of your comments. I can't reply to each of you individually anymore, but thank you all.]
If you lost your best friend to Facebook, you have not lost anything you can’t replace. Facebook is cancer, and anyone utilizing Facebook to inform themselves of the world at large doesn’t deserve you. Trade up today and land a MAGA man!
What saddens me most is that a few weeks ago, I showed him something that disproved what he'd seen on Facebook and it actually got through to him and made him question some other stuff. I thought it might actually be the start of him seeing sense, but then he doubled down. :(
I’m sorry, it’s unfortunate and it hurts short-term, but ultimately everything will turn out okay. (((Hugs)))
Thank you for the hug, I need it!
I promise it gets better.
Awkward when they start protesting on their own parents lawns
I live by there... like 20 mins north of the cities
I’m sorry that you are sad. Perhaps tomorrow you can start trying to think of this as a positive thing. In the Bible, there is a passage that talks about how it is not a good idea to be be in a close relationship with someone who has beliefs that are too different from yours:
2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV
Being unequally yoked is referring to a pair of oxen pulling a cart or wagon. If the two oxen are not roughly the same size then one of them will be stronger than the other, which will lead to the wagon being pulled in a big circle instead of going straight forward. The same thing can happen in our relationships. You are just stronger than your ex is right now, and now you can move forward with your life instead of circling back to the same arguments without any progress being made.
Wonderful post, thanks for that. I’ve had to part ways with friends over this. Sometimes it’s their political brainwashing, sometimes it’s just a lower level of consciousness. I work too hard on myself in perfecting my mind and soul than to try to pull more than my weight, having to always clear my energy and rebuild after these interactions. I recently lost not only a friend but the entire social group that goes with it (he hosts) and I’m actually fine with it. Better than compromising my values. I don’t even date anyone who is on the left and am also in a Blue state. I really couldn’t respect them at this point, and respect is essential to attraction. So OP, I know it hurts now, and boy does it hurt a lot, no way around that, but you are better off alone than with someone like this.
This is a lesson my father taught me by example. I love the Fruits of The Spirit for this exact point you’re making: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control. A part of self-control includes knowing when to un-yolk yourself from relationships that burden you from bettering yourself & them.
I wouldn’t say I have any great insight, I just occasionally remember enough of a passage of scripture to look up something relevant to a situation.
Ohhhhh boy! YOU are going to be his "one that got away". When he wises up, he's gonna regret running you off... for the rest of his life. You can do better!
This sounds exactly like what I've experienced multiple times.
Your ex-boyfriend is ideologically posessed, he is not using logic or reasoning to form his beliefs or ideas so you can't use logic or reason to fight them.
This isn't a reflection on you or your failed ability to help him, it's a reflection of how weak minded and insecure he is in his own ability to make decisions for himself.
There's a chance he genuinely believes the stuff he claims, and there's a chance that he is trying to convince himself that he believes that stuff because he feels guilty about what he actually thinks.
Regardless of any of that, he's doing you a favour by leaving you, it might not feel like it and you'll beat yourself up about how you literally showed him factually solid evidence to counter his opinions and he still doubled down, but don't. He doesn't represent an individual, he isn't a person, he's the living embodiment of a sick leftist ideology.
Adherence to leftist ideology requires both moral and intellectual bankruptcy. Leftism cannot withstand morality or logic, so its followers willfully abandon both. It cannot withstand dissent either, so its followers cannot abide any dissenters, thus leading to the OP's situation.
A very apt description. In some cases, the possession may be more than just ideological.
He's a communist. Communists arnt humans. He's a zombie. He is ideologically possessed.
He needs to unplug fully. Other than this dom. I dont watch news, no social media. My kids are the same. My wife uses it but she trusts no one outside our family circle. Shits plain unhealthy. Im sorry you went through this. But you dodged a bullet. Your future husband should treat you as if he took his vows. Same for the ladies. Focus on yourself. Work out get a dog. Learn to shoot. Find ways to always laugh. There are plenty of guys like us out there.
Yes.
He took his redpill and then vomited it back up and blamed the person who gave the red pill for it. Sorry to hear it but you'll find someone.
Confirmation bias is strong. All it takes is a few minutes of misleadia viewing or social media and any progress you might have made has been wiped out.
He's a loser. Feel fortunate. Praying for you. It's hard. Been through a few. But married for 26 years now. Two lovely, smart adult children. Life works out. Stay your course.
Disagree. You cant go to the marriage with someone with whom you disagree politically. Once married you will be bumping into rough times and political differences will exaggerate your differences. Your values have to be similar and compatible.
Fundamentally, leftists consider the state as their husband, while their man is just a provider. Women need to understand that men do not want to have a political battleground at their home.
Now, his 2-3 hour rants are not acceptable irrespective of whether the man is at the left or at the right. Quarantines were hard for you and for him. For people at the left and at the right.
That's absolutely not true. I've got an uncle who's hardcore Republican and my aunt, his wife, is hardcore Democrat and they've been married for 34 years..... They quite literally have both of Biden and Trump flags hanging in the yard.
They get through it by doing stuff like that, allowing each to have equal voices, and they make damn sure that political differences never cause them to actually fight. They will walk away from the conversation if it starts going that direction and they can't keep it civilized...
Not everybody is a fucking animal with no self-control... from either side....
Their love for each other in their home means way more than anything outside of it.
If my S/O was defending the Democrat party after Kavanaugh, Covington Kids, Russiagate, Ukraine, and the absolute insanity of BLM and Antifa...........I really don't think it would work out. Too many of those things hit too close to home to just say that it is a disagreement.
You can hate both parties while still identifying yourself as a Democrat.... Old school Democrats can't help what the party turned itself into, but that doesn't mean they'll suddenly suck Republican dick either....
Why does everyone from both sides act like you HAVE to pick one hill or the other to die on.....
Well, because the Democrats today are literally in the process of becoming communists and radicalizing more and more. This is no longer about mere political disagreements, it is about 2 very different paths, one of which leads to improvement, and the other to peak clown world hell that MUST be avoided at all costs.
Sure, don't die on your hill... but sure as hell your political opponents will destroy you if they come to power - unless you kneel and pay up. And we are at a point where mere elections may not be sufficient any more. No matter how you see it, we are still decades behind in pushing back against Marxism, the fight is LONG not over.
Think about this: Do you use the word "racism" as if it weren't just a made up word from Marxists (Leon Trotsky) to bash dissidents? Do you fear being called "racist" or other -ism words and seek to explain yourself when accused? Do you think calling people fascist is more insulting that communist (communists are fascists on steroids)? Do you call leftists, even today, "Liberals" (they are Socialists of varying magnitude)? Do you feel weird when you express anything positive about your country, culture, religion or race? Do you dare to talk about race and IQ? Have you questioned the term "hate speech", "hate crime" or the political concept of "hate" at all?
If you answer any of these with yes - and I certainly would - you can see how far the Marxist demoralization and control of language and thought is working on you, or rather society at large.
you just said my mind. Many conservatives use liberal talking points without disrupting the liberal narratives and pushing their own viewpoints. if you believe "racism" or "systemic racism" or "racist" is a bogus term, question anybody who calls you these words.wht they mean. The last few months have made me see how weak conservatives are, when it comes to pushing their own narratives.conservatives are mostly white but they don't talk about "white people" because they are afraid of looking racist or not looking diverse.conservatives should be trying to push their talking points to society instead of being shy.
Exactly. They need to take on the duty to educate the people about Marxism and parallels of today's society with Marxism. Bill Barr did a great job with that. They need to say Socialist, Marxist, Communist, Bolshevist, rather than "Liberal", "Anarchists" or "far left." Maybe the past 4 years were just a ramp-up to be able to do that without losing the "moderate" vote, but at some point Trump has to start doing it. Or, for that matter - we have to.
The education system is a gaping wound that will continue to indoctrinate young people, and it is today more radical than just a decade ago. So even if we manage to win the culture war - it's just a matter of time until the young become the adults and we become the old establishment. We already have that scenario right now - the brainwashed are already in charge of most of the institutions.
There is a lot to do, and even with a 2nd Trump term, the fight is long not over. A lot has to be done to fix all of this. And a Libertarian, hardcore anti-Marxist approach (ignoring the party because they are morons) is likely the best way forward.
We can win this and save civilization from the barbarism of socialism.
Because one party is currently advocating the abolishment of the 2nd amendment, open borders, white hate, reparations, 3rd term abortion, and they have been constantly attacking our president with false accusations and impeachment. Old school democrats are now on the right because of how far left their party has gone. Sure the republicans have their uniparty members and rinos but we can see them and call them out. Democrats support any democrat 100% of the time. This is no longer a simple game of ideals. One side is actively and openly trying to destroy the very foundation of this country.
My wife is more center than me but not adhering to leftism. Her sister is a BLM supporter and tries to pull her that way. But we do disagree even though she is wrong 100% that Trump is bad. She stays away from the culture clas we are I. This is how far she is removed from it, she asked me earlier this week “what is cancel culture?”
I don’t mind it. As a stay at home dad of 3 young kids, I can stay engaged and understand the tactics of those that seek for my children’s minds. I continually shape my kids into being logical based kids to take into adulthood.
Question...do they have kids? If so, how do they handle the ideological divide of how to raise their children? Gotta be tough
Yes they do and the kids are grown now and all perfectly well adjusted. 2 of them moved away before I got into politics so I don't know about them but 1 of their sons is still around and is very Republican like my uncle.
I'm married to a Democrat and it's real hard dude. It's hard not to have anyone to talk to. It's hard that the person you're closest to doesn't share your political values.
Luckily we share other values that transcend politics, and I think she's more Republican than she realizes, but TDS runs hard in her family so she remains a Democrat and I remain isolated.
I think grillervative’s point was that she’s better off without the guy, and that life will work out well for her anyway.
Thanks for your prayers, I really appreciate it.
Already have said a couple.
Thank you so much! That's very kind of you.
Bullet Dodged! Better to find out now and salvage your dating opportunities!
Took me a second, but ROTFLMAO
My condolences but...you need walk away and move on. Normally the gender roles are flipped in this situation but it's always good to see a woman with a level head on her shoulders. Find yourself a pede and make some baby pedes.
Thanks, I'll try. It's hard where I am - the whole area is mostly leftist, so I thought I was doing well just to find someone who could agree to disagree.
I can relate.. I'm surrounded as well. living in Oakland county MI, this and Wayne county make the whole state blue
Oh gosh, Oakland is even worse than where I am. I wish you the very best of luck.
You will have no problem finding a man if you consider yourself non-leftist. Even a woman who does not have political opinions, centrist, have much better chances than left-leaning liberal women.
Fellow Michigander?
I'm a bit reluctant to say exactly where for fear of being doxxed, as it would literally ruin my life if people here knew. I just thank my lucky stars I'm not in Cali.
If you're in MN, hit me up in the DMs. I can relate to your story, I had to part ways with my ex leading right up to the 2016 election. She was absolutely hysterical and had become increasingly far left over the course of our relationship. College is a hell of a brainwash.
I'm sorry for the pain you're experiencing due to the breakup - but this comment is actually the saddest one I've read in the entire thread.
The media and politicians are actively pushing unwell people into ruining others' lives for financial gain and political power. Government should fear The People and people who are not well / mentally unfit should have opportunities to find help, not be used as political demonic pawns.
Damn it all to hell.
Sorry, I know the last thing you need is a comment with a negative context - but it angers me to see how the power establishment (D.C, media, hollywood, etc) use people as they desperately seek to not lose anymore power.
God Bless you for hanging in there. We all have disagreements and different ways of seeing and/or experiencing things but all of this is just evil. When the thoughts or memories get really tough, just remember the people responsible for pushing your ex and others in that direction. This is the ultimate battle. You either control your own life, assets, beliefs, faith, and the dedication of your soul - or someone else does. It's been this way throughout history and it will never change.
Just put pro Trump in your dating BIO and you will be flooded with MAGA dudes in the area.
It may seem all leftist but the silent Trump supporters are everywhere.
Imagine a life where you don't get yelled at for 3 hours by an INSANE leftist.
Your dude is abusing you, realize it and gtfo
Risky as she can be doxxed and hurt her employment opportunities. I know this because I refuse to hire anyone who puts anything remotely leftist in their social media profiles. A better way to “show your support” is to put an American flag in your profile or something similarly subtle.
Listen to the podcast No Agenda with Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak. Then host a No Agenda meetup in your area. You will meet many people who are capable of critical thinking.
Lift your head up.. A conservative women is a rare bird these days, you will easily find your future soul mate
Thank you, I very much hope so.
Don't even worry, young lady.
I've been through 2 breakups in my life and they hurt. But now I have a wonderful wife and an amazing family. None of that would have happened if I'd stayed with the other women.
Everything happens for a reason, and this dude is going to be blowing up your phone in a couple days begging for you to come back to him.
These days? Throughout human history!
Very true. Conservative women are the most desired women on the planet.
Armchair quarterback here but this indicates the depth of his commitment to you, your relationship and his political beliefs. You were obviously not first in his priorities if he left for such trivial matters. Buck up, be strong, I know it's tough but you may have dodged a bullet.
That's a good point about his priorities. There have been a few occasions lately where he hasn't supported me when a boyfriend normally should.
Trust me, you don't want a leftist for a significant other.
I know you're right on a rational level, it just sucks right now. He seemed reasonable.
Yeah, there’s the rub. Let your emotions do their thing, but not rule your rational mind. It DOES suck (emotions) and you WILL be better off (rational mind); those things are not mutually exclusive. It’s just the difference of time.
Praying you get better off sooner rather than later, stranger.
He likely was reasonable and then he got brainwashed. It's a very painful thing to see happen to someone you love.
That totally blows. Now is probably a difficult time to try and hear any "advice" or "silver lining" type talk. Rest assured you are at home here in this community, and we ALL know that it's his loss ;-) We are all here in your corner! Onward and upward.
Thank you. I'm quite isolated where I live, as the area is mostly leftist. I was pleased just to find someone who could (at first) agree to disagree.
Just a suggestion... I'm from a liberal area too and for last 2 months I've been in a red state visiting friends because California is locked down and i couldn't take it. The difference in my state of mind is just on another level. I'm so happy to see other people like me. They're so nice, lots of trump people, stores are still open, etc. You might consider doing something similar to lift your spirits. Anyway, you'll do well in short order.
I wish I could but I have older parents with health problems who live near me, so I have to (and want to) stay for their sake. It must be so nice to be surrounded by like-minded people - I know that would give me a mental boost. It's so draining to deal with nobody but leftists every day.
I left my girlfriend (center-lefty) a year ago because I realised her vision of the future and my vision of the future were two totally different things. Never a fun task but had to happen, so we managed it on good terms.
I'm glad you managed to end things amicably. I don't like being on bad terms with people at all.
I just really want to say some bad things about him right now and use some really dirty words...but I am holding back. Dating sucks these days anyway especially if you live in a blue state and have to wear a mask. You are young. Bullet dodged. It was never going to work out anyway and at least now you arent a single mother.
Yes, I'm grateful there are no children caught in the middle.
You'll find someone better 😊
Thank you, I hope so.
Damn, lecturing for hours is abusive. Sorry for your loss. It isn't easy to deal with a loved one who allows themselves to become possessed with such an ideology. He may or may not wake up, but if you regain your strength and move on I know you can find a decent man who will love you and who has the mental fortitude to see things clearly.
Thank you for your kind comments. A few weeks ago I showed him something that disproved what he'd seen on Facebook and he actually responded to it and started questioning some other stuff. I had hope he'd wake up and see how he's been manipulated and lied to, but then for whatever reason, it's like he doubled down.
He ran into what’s called “cognitive dissonance”. It’s when new indisputable facts conflict with held beliefs. Only two ways to deal with it. Either abandon the old beliefs for the new facts or ignore the new facts and cling to old beliefs. Looks like he picked option two.
Sadly, yes. I guess it shows the difference in our mindset - when I first started to wake up, I couldn't stop digging. I wanted to know how much I'd been lied to and who by. It was hard to accept and upsetting at times, but nothing could have stopped me.
^^ this ... I cannot understand people that put their head in the sand. I just don't work that way.
This is where egos and a fragile sense of self and mindset come into play. My God, you run into it all the time. ""No, I am not wrong. I am not the bad guy."" And then the ceaseless projection starts en masse.
It's too painful for them to admit that they wrong or at fault for anything so the entire world has to dance around them and their feelings. The media, pols, and others know this and just puppet these people with thinly veiled strings.
Could you share what it was possibly? I'm trying desperately to red-pill my wife. She's at least mostly red-pilled on covid19, even hates biden (but apparently still hates Trump more).
It was the whole 'kids in cages' thing. I started with the angle of it being the press who were misleading people in order to garner more ad clicks, pointed out (gently) that the photos were from before Trump, in 2012 (very deliberately avoiding mention of O). I then concentrated on how it had been a temporary measure because of a sudden increase in border crossings, but that "the kids are ok and in better conditions now though, so don't worry". I figured the whole 'think of the children' angle would be hard to object to.
Good luck!
I recently broke up with my boyfriend for the same reason. I was willing to overlook our differences if it was simply he wasn't a Trump fan, but he despised everything I stood for politically. I couldn't take it and had to end it. It's awful to lose your best friend, but you will be better off in the long run. Stay strong! ♥
It amazes me that there are men even like this. Did he have any self respect whatsoever? I just cannot fathom being a man and being a leftist. I’m too involved with creating a better future for myself and future family to spend my days rioting on the streets and finding people to cancel online. What a miserable life.
Some truly believe they are 'acting' for ""the greater good"". The ends always justify the means for men like this. Pathological altruism, narcissism, savior complex, etc. They believe they are sacrificing. They believe they are helping to usher in - and in their warped view - 'provide' a better future for people they've never met and will never meet.
They care about everything but looking after and providing for not only themselves but their immediate loved ones. After all, how can you not feel guilt if there are people out there suffering and they all have 'checkbox' traits such as gender or skin color?
"I will sacrifice my life and my self for a greater world (and as a bonus, once the ladies see what a noble person I am I'll be rolling in the vag)." That in and of itself would be understandable on some level - but they never stop there, do they? They have to tear others down who do not think like them. After all, they are righteous and good and will save many so surely those who are different are pure evil.
The irony of course is that if they simply did what you and I concentrate on doing then the ""greater good"" would be immeasurably better for everyone. They see you and I as selfish but fail to realize that they don't know you or I personally or see the kind deeds that men like us have done for others (please forgive me, I don't know you either, of course, I'm just clumsily making a point here). They fail to see that building a life and family and community and truly providing for others to have an opportunity at a better life is the most noble sacrifice one can make.
There's no hope for men like this. They will always be ""better"" than you.
Then still others are just parasitic scum slugging through life on the backs of others. Not really a lot of hope for them, either.
Lol the truth is he probably had too much self respect. He got all his news from CNN and NPR, and he could never admit to being wrong. May God bless your hard work and help you keep your focus on the truly important things in life. 😊
Atleast it happened now and not after you were married and had kids with him.
Yes, having kids stuck in the middle would be awful.
Don't worry. Things will get better. Close that chapter of your life and get ready live the next.
Her future husband is happy that she finally broke up with that idiot.
What state are you in? We can find a single pede on here to take you out to a nice lunch.
That's such a nice idea, thank you! But I'm worried about being doxxed. Where I am, it would literally ruin my life.
I mean that narrows it down to like the west coast lol
Are you religious at all?
Go volunteer for your local RNC. Perhaps you'll find a keeper there.
Wouldnt it be nice if TD had some kind of a dating service for all the conservative people on here...or at least some monthly meet-ups where we could get together in person. I guess the nearest thing would be a Trump rally.
I would appreciate this. But the fear of getting doxxed is pretty huge too. Doesn't help that some of us refuse to use social media and dating apps lol.
See, here’s the thing. Conservatives want to be left alone to work and play and raise a family. Libs want to force you into their beliefs. Thats why they dox and we dont. Thats why twitter mobs are all libs. Asymetrical warfare. Snitch lines all over the place. We are truly living under communism now and Trump is our only home.
Basically this. Deleted all social media because I didn't want any rants to follow me to where I work and having retarded friends basically guarantees an argument so I cut myself out of it. May have some luck at a Trump rally if people are looking for a good conservative.
I went to Twitter once to post a comment recently. Its a cesspool and I got out quick. Today I signed up for LinkedIn so I could post a snarky comment on that James Antle article about why NYC is done for. But I always use aliases and fake email accounts. Yahoo lets you have 3-4 fake email accounts. So you can still post if you want but get a different name maybe. Have a diff name for each social media. And you’ve heard about the stupid facebook people who post everytime they take a dump? These are the same people who post when they are going on vacation thus informing robbers when to steal them blind. Forget what I just said about continuing using social media under fake names. Better to just stick with TD.
Been here since day one ;) Will be here until it dies.
Ditto. ditto. ditto.
On the optimistic side, I absolutely agree.
On the cynical side, that sounds like a great way to either get doxed or child-support'd. Too many left-leaning women have realized that staying quiet for long enough to get pregnant is a great way of getting a stable income for the next 18 years.
Do you really think they can stay quiet? Their purple hair isnt a tell?
Note 'left-leaning' versus 'far-left'.
Forever? No. Long enough to get a payout? Given current child support statistics, I kind of have to say 'yes', unfortunately.
I watched three (three!) of my highschool acquaintances go through precisely this. Stay quiet on political issues in general, find someone who seems to be making a decent amount of money, get pregnant, 'settle down' for about five minutes, break up, and then (shockingly quickly) go full leftist, hair coloration included. At the time I had no clue - they seemed alright by all accounts. And so I am forced to conclude that I am neither smarter nor less of a sucker than average. And the average is shocking.
Young guys need to date older women...LOL
Really is the other way the problem is girls by dating guys their age get to influence and shape them.
Back in the day when it was normal for girls to date older boys there was less of the puppy on a leash bs we see now days.
I dated a few younger girls than me and it broke their usual of dating guys their same age or younger. Everytime when they tried to control or coerce me and I didn't put up with their bs leading to me breaking things off between us they'd try to get back but I was done. It really would be a shock when they'd go on their latest tirade about some trivial bs and I'd grab my things and call a taxi if I had been drinking or an ubber or drive off.
These girls are too used to treating these little boys like doormats that won't leave. So they get the impression all men are like that. the little boys thinking that sex is a reward for being a good chained puppy are disgraceful. No wonder we see so many betas protesting for blm ashamed of what they are
Back in communist controlled r/T_D I got a message from someone asking to date them instead when I posted about a thing similar to this on the forum (on a comment).
I never responded. If it was real, probable long distance that doesn't work out (I'm stuck where I am without some serious doing and large luck). If it's fake, doxxing, become an internet mockery, etc. We already have huge targets on our backs.
You know, I am so glad I grew up in the 50s-60s when things were normal and we just had to worry about a nuclear bomb from Russia. Kids born in 1980 are so screwed. First we had 9/11, then the financial crisis, then Obama, and now covid lockdown and lost economy. Plus not being able to really date. Now everything is on line. Might just as well jerk off or get a camel.
If you’re looking to meet conservative people for dating, I would highly suggest a Christian dating website. I’ve had a lot of success meeting conservative women on there. Even if you’re not super religious, it’s completely fine as many people there to meet people with similar values.
When politics become religion your ability to have a fact based discussion disappears. If you stay together he will inflect way more damage than bring any good to the relationship.
He is responsible for his choices. Facebook did not cause you to lose your friend. It was the just place he worshipped.
Now you can find a maga man. And he will be happy you did
It really is like a cult. The more he talked about how he was ashamed of the country, and of how awful we've been to others, and how terrible everything is, the more I realized that he's lost all sense of proportion.
I am sorry for your breakup, and I pray you find someone who shares your views. Be thankful it was a boyfriend and not a husband. He saved you additional pain.
Thank you for your prayers, I appreciate it. And yes, I'm glad that divorce isn't an issue.
Awh chick..breakups suck. No matter the reason or fault. Take your time, cry it out, eat some ice cream and get out of bed tomorrow. You do you. Chin up, head high and you'll find your person when it's right. This, apparently, was not. Honestly sounds like ya dodged a bullet.
Thank you. I'm meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow so I'm sure having a nice time and talking with her will help me a lot.
Plenty of redpilled men out there looking for good, supportive women. Don't worry!
Be careful about this; it can be self-perpetuating.
When you meet someone with a different worldview, that means at least one (and often many) of the following:
It can be quite illuminating to sit down with someone with different political views and distill down why. And I'd have no issues dating someone that went through this with me. Where you get red flags is when someone starts getting evasive, or worse, angry, or worse yet, starts trying personal attacks.
If someone says that saving even one life is worth it? Sure. If they get angry when I then ask them how much they contribute to testicular cancer research? That's a nope from me.
All told dating someone with a different worldview - assuming that they are actually up for discussing things - is a great method of preventing yourself from getting filter-bubbled, and making sure that your views are actually robust. And yes, liberals who actually discuss things do exist, although a) they are the black swans of the political world right now and b) they are mainly holding their noses and voting for Trump (n=2, so take it with a grain of salt).
It's not even about the logic, it's about the tribes. I used to have a bunch of pretty hard-left friends (I was desperate & pre-trump era). I always expressed my opinions honestly, but in non-political terms, i.e., not talking about politicians or parties or ideologies, just framing everything from the standpoint of me, the individual... and they all assumed I was one of them, which I found amusing, until one time I was out camping with them and they decided to burn an effigy of a particular conservative leader (in Australia). That was my line in the sand and I ditched them.
It's not even about tripping and falling off of a cliff, it's about the sudden stop at the bottom.
Tribal behavior is in many ways a symptom not a cause - after a point it's frighteningly easy to seek out those that a) have the same stated opinions that you do and b) don't question each other on why they have said shared opinions. That's mainly after you've already fallen off of a cliff, however.
That's the key part there. I suspect it would have gone rather differently had you initially framed things in political terms.
I have found this to be true as well. Where people stand politically is now a huge factor in dating someone. At this point it also can help you decide what person they are before anything now that the lines are very clearly drawn.
Same here, 90% easily. And when it comes to my job it's more like 99.9% and I'm even more isolated.
Thank you. I was single for a long time before we got together, so I know I'll cope once I've got over the intial shock.
Thank you, I already feel a little better thanks to all the lovely comments from people here. :)
That truly sucks, sorry to hear that. Won’t waste your time with “you’re better off without him” or anything like that because you probably don’t want to hear that right now and I have no way of knowing if it’s actually true, but I feel your pain. It’s crazy how all the media gaslighting and social media nonsense takes otherwise good, rational people and turns them into something else.
Keep your head up, it will be tough for a while but you will bounce back, and don’t forget that it isn’t your fault. Political disagreements between well-intentioned people should never be relationship ending in an ideal world, unfortunately the world we live in today is definitely less than ideal. In the meantime, lean on your friends and family as much as you can and try to keep yourself busy. That’s the best advice I can offer, wish I could do better.
Thank you so much, you're so right. Even leaving my feelings for him aside, it saddens me to see someone who was so warm and easy-going be turned into a close-minded, angry and bitter person. It really is crazy to see it firsthand.
He did you a favour. Thank him.
You didn't have a boyfriend. You had a girlfriend
*soyfriend
Better
I know the pain of being dumped.
If that is why he dumped you, he did not value and cherish you. He does not put you first.
So it is a blessing you were not married to this man and are not dependent on him along with a lot of little ones.
Do not burn up your valuable love, time, and energy trying to "rescue" him. Some people are rage addicts and have to have a reason to be angry about something. You are not in a position to fix that.
Please move on.
I think that you can chalk this up to the "he wasn't that into you" category. Not that he should've changed his views for yours, but rather that he should've respected you enough for this to not have been that big of a deal for him ever in any way.
His behavior almost sounds abusive in terms of what you describe as "ranting at me for 2-3 hours" and then apologizing. I had a roommate who went through this a few years back some aging white lame-o who was all worked up over her not being a strong BLM "ally" and her liking Trump. I never witnessed it directly but she said he would basically be yelling at her about it, like they would get into shouting matches over her just voicing her opinion in the contrary to his.
Unfortunately this is a thing. Hopefully sharing your story can be a warning tale for others and you can learn from this debacle of a relationship. In general I would say that this kind of behavior is not uncommon among those types of phony gotta-let-everyone-know-how-down-with-the-cause-they-are dudes. A conservative or even a rational lib wouldn't be nearly as likely to mistreat people like that.
Look at us, we are your best friend now! You're already ahead of the game, single right-leaning women are a rare thing. For conservative guys...after whatever flaws we may have, finding a girl who isn't knee-jerk lefty narrows down our prospects. Join a gun club, church, etc. and enjoy your ability to choose which guy deserves you.
Go to church n light a candle to thank God you arent stuck w an angry, pessimistic sheep!
I am sorry to say this, but this is definitely a good thing. It's saddening and you will have to stay strong, but in the end it will be worth it.
Reason being, if he can so easily dispose of you over politics, he is too far off to be helped and that is his absolute true form. You would have had even more fights in the future and once things get absolutely critical, he would have left you in a very dire situation-
That is not a man, nor a boyfriend that can defend someone in his life.
It is important to know that every person you meet has political opinions. Some may just not highlight them and they don't think much about them, but once things get bad, they show their true colors. I have experienced that so often, just assume anyone who says "I don't care" towards politics is lying, immediately.
I hate to say it, but nowadays I would not date without knowing the political orientation of my partner. It WILL come up and you either submit to their views if you disagree or they will end things. Very rarely will they change their mind, as liberals are very enthusiastic about calling evil upon the opposite political party, including name calling e.t.c.
I live in germany and hearing them compare Trump to Hitler is the most laughable thing I have heard, but I hear it again and again.
Anyways, I wish you good luck and a good recovery from this moment. Stay strong, a passionate woman with strong opinions that go against the liberal mainstream and who won't let herself get shut down is a rare sight. Being brainwashed as an adult on the other hand is weak and unacceptable.
I hate to say it, but this was probably for the best. If you're having these kinds of disagreements now, imagine having them over kids. Imagine trying to decide how you're going to teach your children, and what philosophies you will use to do so. Stuff like that.
You can love someone and still come to the conclusion that a long-term relationship won't work out. Give yourself a year as a single and don't let the "rebound" get to you.
If it's of any consolation, I think there's a lot of conservative-minded guys out there who are in the same boat as you. They can't find a good relationship to settle down, because all the potential conservative mates of their age range have been snatched up. It's much easier for a conservative woman to find a good man, than for a conservative man to find a good woman. (Sheesh, my brother had to look overseas to find one.) So supply and demand works enormously in your favor. When you're ready, they'll be lined up. :)
File this experience under, "What it's like to date a total pussy" and go out and find yourself a real man.
It sucks, but you'll get through it. As always, keep yourself busy and surround yourself with friends. And don't dwell on unhappy memories. Our brains can't tell the difference between daydreams and reality, so if you daydream about an unhappy memory involving your ex, you're actually forcing your brain to relive those things. It's like poisoning your mind and body, so don't do it. Instead, try to think about things that have nothing to do with your ex. It'll help you get over this faster. Good luck!
well, you had two pussies. now you only have one. that can be tough.
YOU ARE FINE TRUST ME same thing happened with my ex it’s good that it’s over now instead of later you just saved a lot of time !!
White Guilt n.
I use Hinge premium and set my preferences to ‘Conservative’ & ‘Christian’ as a dealbreaker. Any libs that consider themselves Christian is an oxymoron these days.. also it helps to set ‘Wants children’ to a dealbreaker. Really lessens the odds of ending up with crazy.
Delete Facebook and hit the gym when they reopen. Besides getting in better shape, most men who go to the gym and are in good shape with fairly symmetrical faces aren't left wing. lol.
He’s in a cult. You can’t help him. Find a true friend and a real man to be your boyfriend. You’ll be happier for it. God bless you.
I'm sure you've heard similar things from other 'Pedes today, but I'll share a little of my experiences that are similar to what you're going through it sounds like. I've dated several girls that I disagreed with politically or philosophically. It's really difficult when you come to that realization, whether it's right at the beginning of a relationship, towards the end, or months/years down the road. Despite my feelings toward them afterwards, in the end I just feel bad for them and how brainwashed they are, whether it's by social media, mainstream media, or whatever. Do not fight hate with more hate. If they will not respond to truth expressed in charity, there is nothing more you can do. It's not your fault.
In the end, you will be happier for sticking to your principles. Compromising will not make you happy. Hope this is of some help, even though I know things suck right now.
Cognitive dissonance upsets some people. About the time you start to get through to them, they get all angry, and may turn on you.
I'm sorry this happened, because it has hurt your feelings. However, the art of finding a mate in this country is more about sifting out all the wrongs ones that are available, than finding the right one.
You don't want to be all tied up with someone who is an awkward fit, when you meet a really good match. If you are, you might not even notice several great ones.
So look up, unlimber that pretty smile, and use it.
I would like to say "keep politics out of your love life", but it's nearly impossible to do. It's not like in the old days where the left and right differences were fairly mild.
The republicans were pro-life, the democrats were pro-choice. The republicans wanted a 5% tax rate, and the democrats wanted an 8% tax rate. Nowadays the differences are the difference between having a free country, that speaks English and is made up of a single people, or literally having a multicultural, nationless, cultureless, anarchic hellscape of a country. The left wants to turn our little boys into little girls, the right wants kids to be allowed to grow up in the normal fashion.
The left wants Somalia for all of us, the right wants South Dakota for all of us. It would be very difficult to imagine being in a relationship with somebody who actually wants leftism for America.
Really sucky thing, tbh. Been through it without even knowing what it was. Really confusing, tbh. Hurts a lot. At least you know what the issues are and are clear. I hope you recover faster than I did.
I know it hurts now but if he was in a bad place, self pity, loathing himself, his country and his life he is not going in a good direction and he would only take you with him. Get active, stay positive and surround yourself with positive people. Go find yourself a proud boy.
Mourn the passing of the relationship, but he actually did you a favor. You should not try to grow together with someone so distant from you in such an important way.
Relationships require change on each person, and he didn’t accept the red pill from you so he’s definitely worth letting go. After some time to get yourself together, go forth boldly just a little bit wiser.
Stop dating cucks. Find a real man, a conservative. Move states if you have to.
I’m sorry you lost your partner. Break ups suck. But take it from me, this is a good thing. My stepmom and dad are on opposite ends of the political spectrum (she’s a hardcore leftist environmentalist, he’s a huge Trump supporter) and they fight constantly and he’s not allowed to discuss politics (but she sends him articles). Meanwhile, my husband and I are both Trump supporters and happy as clams. At this moment in time, political differences just isn’t something that’s easy for couples to ignore. It’s too polarized. Find a MAGA man and be happy.