I'm having a bit of a tough time today. My boyfriend finally decided that us having 'agreed to disagree' over politics isn't enough, and he just can't deal with me holding a different opinion. He said he had no wish to change my opinion and that I have every right to disagree, but that he just can't live with it and it's too big a divide.
We've had political disagreements in the past and while I thought we'd always managed to resolve the issue and move on, he's apparently held onto those grievances and stewed over them. Since lockdown started he's had way more free time to spend on social media and has become increasingly hard-line in his beliefs and negative in his outlook. Even pointing out simple facts that contradict leftist narratives has resulted in him ranting at me for 2-3 hours, before finally calming down and apologizing. I'm heartbroken for our relationship and for him - that he's been so thoroughly brainwashed he feels nothing but anger and pessimism, that he's now ashamed of his country, and feels guilty for things he hasn't done.
I feel like I've lost my best friend because of Facebook. This sucks.
[EDIT: Thank you everyone for your very kind replies. You've given me some good food for thought, and helped me feel a little less isolated and adrift. It may take me a little while, but I'll try to reply to you all as I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you all again!]
[EDIT 2: I'm absolutely overwhelmed with the kindness of all your replies, thank you all so much! It's so refreshing to receive so much support from like-minded people, when I'm usually mired in the constant negativity of living in a deep blue state.]
[EDIT 3: Well, this absolutely blew up over the last few hours. I'm so, so humbled by the warmth and care you've all shown me - this really is the greatest community! Although it hurt to see him take his things and leave this morning, I already feel a little better and lighter, and that's in no small part thanks to all of your comments. I can't reply to each of you individually anymore, but thank you all.]
He's a loser. Feel fortunate. Praying for you. It's hard. Been through a few. But married for 26 years now. Two lovely, smart adult children. Life works out. Stay your course.
Disagree. You cant go to the marriage with someone with whom you disagree politically. Once married you will be bumping into rough times and political differences will exaggerate your differences. Your values have to be similar and compatible.
Fundamentally, leftists consider the state as their husband, while their man is just a provider. Women need to understand that men do not want to have a political battleground at their home.
Now, his 2-3 hour rants are not acceptable irrespective of whether the man is at the left or at the right. Quarantines were hard for you and for him. For people at the left and at the right.
That's absolutely not true. I've got an uncle who's hardcore Republican and my aunt, his wife, is hardcore Democrat and they've been married for 34 years..... They quite literally have both of Biden and Trump flags hanging in the yard.
They get through it by doing stuff like that, allowing each to have equal voices, and they make damn sure that political differences never cause them to actually fight. They will walk away from the conversation if it starts going that direction and they can't keep it civilized...
Not everybody is a fucking animal with no self-control... from either side....
Their love for each other in their home means way more than anything outside of it.
If my S/O was defending the Democrat party after Kavanaugh, Covington Kids, Russiagate, Ukraine, and the absolute insanity of BLM and Antifa...........I really don't think it would work out. Too many of those things hit too close to home to just say that it is a disagreement.
You can hate both parties while still identifying yourself as a Democrat.... Old school Democrats can't help what the party turned itself into, but that doesn't mean they'll suddenly suck Republican dick either....
Why does everyone from both sides act like you HAVE to pick one hill or the other to die on.....
My wife is more center than me but not adhering to leftism. Her sister is a BLM supporter and tries to pull her that way. But we do disagree even though she is wrong 100% that Trump is bad. She stays away from the culture clas we are I. This is how far she is removed from it, she asked me earlier this week “what is cancel culture?”
I don’t mind it. As a stay at home dad of 3 young kids, I can stay engaged and understand the tactics of those that seek for my children’s minds. I continually shape my kids into being logical based kids to take into adulthood.
Question...do they have kids? If so, how do they handle the ideological divide of how to raise their children? Gotta be tough
Yes they do and the kids are grown now and all perfectly well adjusted. 2 of them moved away before I got into politics so I don't know about them but 1 of their sons is still around and is very Republican like my uncle.
I'm married to a Democrat and it's real hard dude. It's hard not to have anyone to talk to. It's hard that the person you're closest to doesn't share your political values.
Luckily we share other values that transcend politics, and I think she's more Republican than she realizes, but TDS runs hard in her family so she remains a Democrat and I remain isolated.
I think grillervative’s point was that she’s better off without the guy, and that life will work out well for her anyway.
Thanks for your prayers, I really appreciate it.
Already have said a couple.
Thank you so much! That's very kind of you.
Bullet Dodged! Better to find out now and salvage your dating opportunities!