I'm having a bit of a tough time today. My boyfriend finally decided that us having 'agreed to disagree' over politics isn't enough, and he just can't deal with me holding a different opinion. He said he had no wish to change my opinion and that I have every right to disagree, but that he just can't live with it and it's too big a divide.
We've had political disagreements in the past and while I thought we'd always managed to resolve the issue and move on, he's apparently held onto those grievances and stewed over them. Since lockdown started he's had way more free time to spend on social media and has become increasingly hard-line in his beliefs and negative in his outlook. Even pointing out simple facts that contradict leftist narratives has resulted in him ranting at me for 2-3 hours, before finally calming down and apologizing. I'm heartbroken for our relationship and for him - that he's been so thoroughly brainwashed he feels nothing but anger and pessimism, that he's now ashamed of his country, and feels guilty for things he hasn't done.
I feel like I've lost my best friend because of Facebook. This sucks.
[EDIT: Thank you everyone for your very kind replies. You've given me some good food for thought, and helped me feel a little less isolated and adrift. It may take me a little while, but I'll try to reply to you all as I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you all again!]
[EDIT 2: I'm absolutely overwhelmed with the kindness of all your replies, thank you all so much! It's so refreshing to receive so much support from like-minded people, when I'm usually mired in the constant negativity of living in a deep blue state.]
[EDIT 3: Well, this absolutely blew up over the last few hours. I'm so, so humbled by the warmth and care you've all shown me - this really is the greatest community! Although it hurt to see him take his things and leave this morning, I already feel a little better and lighter, and that's in no small part thanks to all of your comments. I can't reply to each of you individually anymore, but thank you all.]
It's not even about the logic, it's about the tribes. I used to have a bunch of pretty hard-left friends (I was desperate & pre-trump era). I always expressed my opinions honestly, but in non-political terms, i.e., not talking about politicians or parties or ideologies, just framing everything from the standpoint of me, the individual... and they all assumed I was one of them, which I found amusing, until one time I was out camping with them and they decided to burn an effigy of a particular conservative leader (in Australia). That was my line in the sand and I ditched them.
It's not even about tripping and falling off of a cliff, it's about the sudden stop at the bottom.
Tribal behavior is in many ways a symptom not a cause - after a point it's frighteningly easy to seek out those that a) have the same stated opinions that you do and b) don't question each other on why they have said shared opinions. That's mainly after you've already fallen off of a cliff, however.
That's the key part there. I suspect it would have gone rather differently had you initially framed things in political terms.