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221
wakingmajority 221 points ago +222 / -1

I almost got arrested for punching a guy in the face a few times when his girlfriend threw coffee at me for not wearing a mask. But no. Never actually arrested.

81
remember1776 81 points ago +81 / -0

hahahahahaha a wild burrito man appeared

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seeingeyebitch 63 points ago +63 / -0

Based burrito man

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wakingmajority 85 points ago +85 / -0

I will be here until the end..... it is going to be Biblical.

16
sgttoporbottoms 16 points ago +16 / -0

You inspired me to eat healthier in the mornings

28
wakingmajority 28 points ago +28 / -0

My good friend Greta, she lurks here, told me that the breakout star of my viral video was my bellyfat. Which she has named "Fat."

Now I know who Joe Biden has been looking for. Fat. It has inspired me to do 45x3 pushups a day to honor our President and his 3 terms.

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gaijin_ronin 12 points ago +12 / -0

Just have a hearty breakfast to start that last day off right!

2
JesusisKing 2 points ago +2 / -0

Fuck yeah!

2
IntrepidBurger 2 points ago +2 / -0

Burrito Chad

18
sub-collector 18 points ago +20 / -2

Every adult in the USA ought to spend at least 4 weeks in jail, it's a tremendous teaching experience.

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The_Litehaus_Abides 26 points ago +26 / -0

If dems manage to steal this election, we will definitely get our turn. :/

6
sub-collector 6 points ago +6 / -0

It's possible, maybe even probable, but it's very, very unlikely. The situation isn't "revolutionary" enough to cause similar to the 1917-Russia coup. The commie LARPers looting and burning are nothing more than overprivileged yoots unfortunate enough to have been raised without proper guidance who now are facing extinction. The rest of us are pretty safe even if multiple foreign armies invade.

20
WiseToad 20 points ago +21 / -1

You won't be going against Antifa. Your local police department will arrest you for posting something offensive on Facebook like is going on in the UK. It's nice to romanticize and think our only enemies are Antifa and Chinese troops, but if Democrats take over they will put red tape over everything. You will have social workers, cops at your house for contact tracing, virus, hate speech, a number of things, 95% of police and government won't put their well being in jeapordy to protect others.

8
boomerbutnotOKBoomer 8 points ago +8 / -0

I lived with a Liberal self-righteous holier than thou sister who acted like our warden. Does that count?

7
TLDC 7 points ago +7 / -0

I spent four weeks in Russia shortly after the “fall” of communism.

Trust me, it counts.

4
sub-collector 4 points ago +4 / -0

I was born in the USSR in the early 1970s and haven't left Russia until the mid-to-late-1990s. What am I to trust you with?

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Anus_Blenders_ 3 points ago +3 / -0

Pavel!

2
deleted 2 points ago +3 / -1
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xBigCoffinHunter 5 points ago +5 / -0

I spent two hours. Fuck a bunch of that. I learned that I do not take well to confinement.

1
otistoole 1 point ago +1 / -0

The food is the worst part

3
AFuckingWhiteMale 3 points ago +3 / -0

Can confirm, worked there for 6 years

7
TychoDurandal 7 points ago +7 / -0

This fucking legend just chimes in...

4
HeavyVetting 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lol we need "fucking legend" flair

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
13
wakingmajority 13 points ago +13 / -0

My pleasure. I am still on duty with the rest of you until this story is finished and we can finally tell it.

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0