I figured this would be the best place to post this, you'll see why.
Before me and my best friend began playing a video game with one of his other friends, who we have played with before, he told me that his friend now goes by a feminine name and wanted to be referred to as such. At first I thought he was just trolling, but my friend was actually referring to him as the feminine name he wanted.
After our gaming session I asked if he was actually serious about it. He said that he was, and that he had told him that he planned to have estrogen therapy or whatever it is they do.
As you can see, this is why I am posting this here. If I posted it anywhere else I'd probably be flamed with "you shouldn't interfere it's his right to choose" etc. Can you imagine if I tried asking about this on Reddit?
However, I really do think something is wrong with him. He's like 22 years old I think(?) and I've known him for about 2 or 3 years now. I wouldn't say we're friends but maybe distant acquaintances. I never talk to him or play games with him without my best friend with us. But what my friend has told me about him is that he's a pretty bad alcoholic, and especially recently has been drinking A LOT. He passed out after a drunken rage the last time we had a gaming session all together.
I believe that maybe the alcohol is getting to him. I'm not sure what exactly alcoholism can do your brain, but I really don't believe that my friend's friend thinking he's female is something unrelated to the alcohol. But regardless, I'm worried for him. As if alcoholism won't already destroy his life, but thinking he's female and trying to transition? That will totally ruin it. He's never had any hint of wanting to be female before, and I legitimately think that this whole thing isn't that he has been "in the closet" all this time, I think it's something else.
I know that I'm not close to him, but I feel like I should try and do something to help. I feel like he will severely regret transitioning later on if he actually does do it, and may end up as part of the 41% so to speak.
This is not difficult. You give him the truth. It may be hard to hear (and even say) but it is truth that will literally (and I mean that word) save his life.
Tell him to wake up. A joy filled and filling life is ahead of him and to take the path that he is on will screw up is whole life. Tell him to tune everything out--no media, influencers, etc. He needs a detox from his false reality.
Recommend him to start exercising/going to the gym. To give him a purpose of getting fit. Is he overweight?
I've seen a few pics of him and he is actually rather skinny. He could definitely build some muscle though.
I personally am not sure what to do in that situation but I will pray your Distant friend.
We can't save everyone. There will be plenty of casualties (there already is, anyway.) No need to kick yourself. Save the US and the World first. If some fall, say a prayer for them. We can't save everyone.
Since you aren't a close friend, it isn't really your circus or your monkeys.
But of course, you could TALK to them about it and your concerns for them, if you feel inclined to involve yourself. Little chance it will go well, but if you feel you must do something, then try.
But it is your acquaintances' life and personal business.
All of us are responsible for and must face the consequences of the choices we make in life, good or bad. Personally, I would get as far away from toxicity as possible.
I think you're right about the alcholism angle. Dude has a long row to hoe.
Ridicule is a potent weapon. Ask him jokingly if he's having trouble getting laid or you could just say, "look i dont know you that well but I just want to say that I think you're gonna genuinely regret this as its irreversible and maybe you should think on it for another year before you go thru with it"
There was a harrowing post on T_D.win about two weeks ago where someone posted about someone who fully transitioned and described what it was like - they had a hole down below that constantly smelt of faeces. The person was suicidal.
I'm sorry, I didn't keep a copy of the link - it was horrendous to read. That's the sort of thing he'll be moving towards.
I think I remember seeing it. I remember the bit about the smell, I can't imagine living with that.
Yes, it was something not easily forgotten.
It maybe that the alcoholism will save him (how bizarre to write that) - I can't imagine a Dr sanctioning such drastic procedures (even the oestrogen therapy) when they know he's an alcoholic.
Good for you for trying to help, and you're right to post here instead of Reddit, you'd be mauled by virtue-signalling basement-dwellers there. At least here, people will be honest (and quite likely blunt).
Do the opposite .... jab him with test ... man him up.
Wait till he passes out if you have to ...
Stay out of it I think. It's a distant acquaintance and I don't think it's worth potentially damaging your relationship with your best friend (who seems like a leftist) at the moment.
My friend isn't a leftist, probably more of a centrist if anything. I don't think he's really political.
I don't think it would damage my relationship with him either. I've already expressed some concern over the whole thing and he didn't seem to mind that I'm worried for his friend. Maybe I can get him to talk for me since he knows him better. I think if anything verbal were effective it would have more weight coming from him than me.
IDK this is a tough one. If you care about this person arrange a lunch, get to know them, then ask some questions. Maybe this person has alot of issues and doesn't know how to ask for help and maybe he has nobody willing to ask. If you do talk to this person ask them if they are OK and tell them how you noticed a difference in them and were concerned.
From what I have seen, young people who are having a hard time finding who they are, and unable to find peace in themselves, and have very low self esteem, end up in that situation. By transitioning, he thinks he can become someone of importance, or find some meaning in his life. Nothing will change, until he can understand for himself what is holding him back before and work on it. It is usually a deep down mental hang up.
But you have to tread softly, especially if you dont want to lose your best friend. My guess is that, if you dont call his friend by the female name, your friend will probably stop being your friend. Also if you dont accept his female name, you will not be able to reach him or tell him anything that he would listen. So unfortunately, if you care about being friends with either of them, you have to play along and bring up your concerns slowly, tactfully. Good luck!
Well, I talked with my friend about it. He had spoken with his friend and said that now he's not completely serious about going through with the estrogen therapy, but is still interested. My friend also believes he might grow out of it, which I hope so. So far I have yet to refer to him with a female name or pronouns, and my friend doesn't seem to care. He already knows my stance on transgenders anyways (which is no matter what you do you can't change your gender). So I'm not really worried about losing my friend over it.
Yeah, sounds like a classic case of brainwashed by society and media. Really sad, because these people will spend the rest of their lives depressed, suicidal and homicidal. BTW, you should google some of the detrans nightmare and send him some links. Its the secret they dont want you to know, but detrans is a huge problem in trans community.
Pray to God that he opens up an opportunity then reach out and be honest. Being confident enough to talk about sensitive subjects without shame will help in the process. You lead, he follows. Maybe share something similar in your life that he would be able to relate to ("When I dealt with my mom dying, I reached out for help") and if it strikes a nerve and feels like he can relate he may open up.
Biggest thing to remember is you can't save people.
If you haven't heard of it already, AA and Al-Anon might be worth looking into as well. Highly recommended for people who are early into the stages of recovery; friendship, fellowship, productivity and all sorts of positive reinforcements that give a person meaning and purpose. He may even find God. I went early on but have since matured past it but still believe it saves peoples' lives. Not every life--but many.
I'd say motive is a biggie. Ask yourself what your motive is. I have always found it easier to listen to or accept things I didn't want to hear when I knew the motive was genuine.