459
posted ago by JimmyJames ago by JimmyJames +459 / -0

I plan on having alcohol poisoning by the 30 minute mark, easily. My son will be here to take me to the hospital. (My wife has severe Trump Derangement Syndrome. She would probably just watch me die.)

Comments (42)
sorted by:
31
IncredibleMrE1 31 points ago +32 / -1

Reported for attempted murder.

22
Porkchop-express 22 points ago +23 / -1

Your trying tot kill people. Frat boys couldn’t even consume that much liquor

7
DingoDantheTrumpman 7 points ago +7 / -0

Nah just take a hit of crack every time they mention Russia to counter the effects of alcohol and you will be good hehe.

3
WassermanSchultz 3 points ago +3 / -0

I'm gonna have Hunter on speed dial..

2
KeKieChan 2 points ago +2 / -0

Make sure he gets an uber....just in case

4
JimmyJames [S] 4 points ago +5 / -1

Frat boys try to drink for hours on end. I’m old and don’t have that kind of time. lol

11
Modus_Pwninz 11 points ago +11 / -0

Wife has TDS

How do you even manage

5
Mexicola1976 5 points ago +5 / -0

You pretty much have to avoid any conversation that may turn political- which liberals/commies have made almost impossible.

7
Gulleyfoyleismyname 7 points ago +7 / -0

It's rough.

I will never forgive the left/MSM for turning me into a Nazi.

4
Mexicola1976 4 points ago +4 / -0

Atleast we have a good dental plan.

4
Dumdum 4 points ago +4 / -0

Alcohol

2
JimmyJames [S] 2 points ago +3 / -1

It’s not easy.

3
Regionalphilbin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Mine too, brother. We should start a support group.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
9
yallsegregationist 9 points ago +9 / -0

are you trying to kill us all?

7
deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
6
technoraptor 6 points ago +7 / -1

don't forget "dog whisteling" and perhaps "experts say"

5
MayITakeAOrdahPreez 5 points ago +5 / -0

Lol i did this during the democrat primary debates with some friends and I have never been so hungover outside of Vegas. These people are so predictable!

5
Ben45 5 points ago +5 / -0

What kind of madman are you to encourage people to drink everclear?

4
Gulleyfoyleismyname 4 points ago +4 / -0

I feel your pain Pede.

3
ArchVileRespawned 3 points ago +3 / -0

You're going to end up more shitfaced than George Floyd.

3
Hillary-Digs-a-Hole 3 points ago +3 / -0

I'd Floyd myself within the first hour.

3
kittydoses 3 points ago +3 / -0

start playing the matt walsh show. his points are so fire she will come around. my mom actually changed sides. ida never bet on that in my whole life.

3
Former_RM2 3 points ago +3 / -0

This is not good idea kids. Don't do this.

I was in Panama City for Spring Break a long time ago. Stayed in a hotel and woke up the next morning to find cops crawling all over the hotel. I asked what was going on and one of the frat boys in the room above us beer bonged a fifth of vodka. He died.

If you follow the advice of this post, you could die too.

3
TheStoneOfSisyphus 3 points ago +4 / -1

I'll do a shot of five hour energy

2
E-dantes 2 points ago +2 / -0

Admitting her problem is the first step. Acceptance of the consequences of watching a liberal shitfest commentary, and the resulting inebriation thereof, is the best step.

You're almost there pede!

2
RedReddit 2 points ago +2 / -0

Everclear? You trying to kill people?

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
Pilotmtb 2 points ago +2 / -0

Do you want me to die

2
kornesque 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hillary has entered the chat

2
thrakkorzog 2 points ago +2 / -0

Take a sip for "Dark", "Pounce" or "Seize."

2
BumpForTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Trying to kill us?

I think we'd have a better chance of chewing on fentanyl.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
Sixty2ndAssassin 2 points ago +2 / -0

I don't want to die fren.

2
Cough 2 points ago +2 / -0

Liver cant handle

2
MAGASquatch 2 points ago +2 / -0

Sounds fun; but I have to admit that I will probably be tappin' out after the 1st 5 minutes.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
turanian_552 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'd rather eat some Goya beans and try to rip one whenever CNN mentions the above terms. The symbolism is more fitting.

2
VoterIDMatters 2 points ago +2 / -0

MODS STOP THIS SHILL HE IS TRYING TO GET US TO PASS OUT BEFORE WEE SEE GEOTUS SPEAK

lol jk

1
ICantREEEE 1 point ago +1 / -0

Need to fix that wife thing pede

1
GThrones 1 point ago +1 / -0

So THIS is how the Democrats plan to win the election.

1
jnic815 1 point ago +1 / -0

Everclear

I’m not trying to die...

Jägerbombs sound fun though