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Comments (87)
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101
deleted 101 points ago +101 / -0
30
Puppies4Lovies 30 points ago +31 / -1

Doors it agaaaaain!!! Reeeeee!

15
deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
1
stormdraintrooper 1 point ago +1 / -0

Make them very ripe. This is a good idea.

62
Contay 62 points ago +63 / -1

Would be a real shame of some of them were hard boiled or frozen ;).

51
katsumi27 51 points ago +51 / -0

Use balloons full of cat pee or pee after you eaten a pound of Asparagus

29
HighEmergy 29 points ago +30 / -1

Diarrhea.

15
katsumi27 15 points ago +15 / -0

Make sure it’s C.Diff positive cause that smell can melt paint off the wall. 😂🤣💩

10
Magafactured 10 points ago +10 / -0

If you can get it in a balloon, I’ll throw it 😄

12
DebbieinDallas 12 points ago +12 / -0

Technical question: How do you poop into a balloon???

8
Magafactured 8 points ago +8 / -0

It’s a koan – like “one hand clapping,“ or “patriotic Democrat.“

5
RabidZoo 5 points ago +5 / -0

You have diarrhea into a gallon jug with a funnel on top. Remove funnel...attach balloon...pour to fill.

3
JimDandy 3 points ago +3 / -0

Much experience at that? I want to make sure it works before I attempt it.

1
clarefries 1 point ago +1 / -0

You don't need a balloon. You just need condoms or ziploc lunch bags. Carefully put them in an ice cooler and drop them from a building.

1
rootGoose 1 point ago +2 / -1

No experience in the matter.

However, were I to go insane, I would:

  • pop in a bucket
  • add just enough water to make a slurry
  • ???
  • give ANTIFA the profits right into their faves

P.S. Lots and lots of PPE

2
cheesecakelove 2 points ago +2 / -0

Laxative and a funnel

2
Sumarongi 2 points ago +2 / -0

Ask Hillary?

2
Oda_nicullah 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oil cone and water it down and stuff it down with a pencil

3
ChrisTheCuckSlayer 3 points ago +3 / -0

"oil cone".

7
HighEmergy 7 points ago +7 / -0

If I can't get it in a balloon, I'll just have to diarrhea from the rooftop.

I'll need some help with aiming, not that diarrhea is accurate anyways :D

4
Magafactured 4 points ago +4 / -0

👌😆

1
Food4thought 1 point ago +1 / -0

way too much commitment... just leave those eggs in the sun for a few weeks.

2
clarefries 2 points ago +2 / -0

You can do this with puree'd salmon as well. The smell will make them vomit.

1
TrollToll 1 point ago +1 / -0

Too risky, rocks would be effective

12
Marshall 12 points ago +12 / -0

It would be a shame if they found the prepositioned bricks ANTIFA loves to distribute.

11
Commiessuck 11 points ago +12 / -1

Or shrunk down to approx 0.5 inches, made of lead, and released at high velocity through a metal tube using a propellant.

8
Tardigrade 8 points ago +8 / -0

Lol, reminds me of Thor describing human guns in Stargate.

8
CA-Patriot 8 points ago +8 / -0

Frozen eggs with a slingshot?

6
blubberdong 6 points ago +7 / -1

And shot out of an elephant gun.

47
Morgoth 47 points ago +47 / -0

The city itself, by far the heart of liberalism in Portland, is turning against these asshats.

'Bout time.

42
ihatespeech 42 points ago +42 / -0

During the last wave of Chicago looting, the looters were complaining about people throwing buckets of piss down on them.

27
CMDRConanAAnderson 27 points ago +27 / -0

I was thinking exactly this yesterday. If they tried to scale a high rise you could pull the emergency button to the elevator to trap them so they all get arrested when the cops show up. Dump cat the litter, some spoiled milk, bottles of cheap soda etc.

7
H_Guderian 7 points ago +7 / -0

problem is now the cops won't show up. It'll just be some Commies trapped in an elevator until they try to bust out like in a movie. And the chance they'll set a fire?

20
Nadlers_Belt 20 points ago +20 / -0

Rotten eggs, hopefully.

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
6
russian_bot6547 6 points ago +6 / -0

pro tip: poke a small hole at the top of each egg, let sit for a good week or so in room temperature. voila, you got rotten eggs.

20
WU_HAN_FRU 20 points ago +20 / -0

WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKERS!

REEEE! POLICE! POLICE! HELP US!

16
Brother_Bill 16 points ago +16 / -0

I hate those screeching idiots saying, "Are you Fucking Kidding me?" over and over- cuz they are so entitled to everyone's adoration and respect. Nobody is kidding you, asshole! they really mean it!

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
15
ciaramella_is_gay 15 points ago +15 / -0

If you have the high ground use it to your advantage. Time to boil a vat if oil and get midevil on their candy asses.

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
12
MixedBlacknWhite 12 points ago +12 / -0

Why not gasoline-filled balloons and bottle rockets?

12
deleted 12 points ago +12 / -0
6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
10
deleted 10 points ago +11 / -1
9
CA-Patriot 9 points ago +10 / -1

With the heat across the western states, I still think it would be obvious to spray them down with citronella oil to help fight against the mosquitoes. Of course, that stuff is also pretty flammable, so they should not try to light anything on fire...in minecraft.

9
LandonFire 9 points ago +9 / -0

This is unacceptable... why dont they call the cops on them... oh wait 🤣

8
1DontTreadOnMe1 8 points ago +9 / -1

What a waste of good food man. I bet most of those people have pets. I'd be throwing some litter box droppings.

6
Megamagamanoman 6 points ago +7 / -1

Time to stockpile eggs.

6
more_maga_please 6 points ago +6 / -0

Would be a real shame if someone accidentally stored their frag grenades in the egg cartons. Real shame, indeed.

6
HiddenDekuScrub 6 points ago +6 / -0

Good job, citizens.

5
fapoo 5 points ago +5 / -0

It would be a shame if i forgot where the toilet was after my super spicy burrito and after 4 cans of beer

5
Labyrinth9000 5 points ago +5 / -0

Throw water balloons filled with piss at them!

5
redditisdumb96 5 points ago +5 / -0

they should fill a watergun with piss next time

5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
Mexicola1976 5 points ago +5 / -0

Start dropping buckets of bleach

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
3
PraiseBeToScience 3 points ago +3 / -0

Switch to cinder blocks.

3
MAGAnese 3 points ago +3 / -0

Shoulda thrown more than just eggs, maybe some stink bombs or a 🛋

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
RabidZoo 2 points ago +2 / -0

I would have cleaned my whole fucking fridge out...on their heads.

2
NebDakFly2 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'd be dumping buckets of piss and shit on them.

2
PB_Mack 2 points ago +3 / -1

Christ..even the counter protesters in Portland are cucks. Throw bricks you morons.

2
Abendlander 2 points ago +2 / -0

My friends, please don't hate Portland. We are victims of these commies. Pray for us.

2
Cutter 2 points ago +2 / -0

I wonder how fast an egg would go coming out of one of those blank-powered AR-15 golf ball launchers that claim to get 'up to' 400 yards on a golf ball. Probably soft boiled would work best.

2
TheTPL 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'm waiting until they start tossing cocktails.

1
ThickCheney 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe let them have a taste of those shit balloons.

1
to2020andbeyond 1 point ago +1 / -0

Skunk scent mixed with water and sprayed down on them, question is would they notice?

1
MentalyStable 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is escalating ... anyone else see it?

1
JerryJerryJerry 1 point ago +1 / -0

O MY GOD!!

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
ThickCheney 1 point ago +1 / -0

Bring out a slingshot for more accuracy.

1
wazzalurker 1 point ago +1 / -0

Eggs are cool to hurl used to do it all the time you can really fling one along way.

1
Donarudo_Taranpu 1 point ago +1 / -0

How about boiling water and bricks?

1
wazzalurker 1 point ago +1 / -0

Soy boy called them plastic eggs because he just finished an Easter egg hunt or found one up his ass

1
blackdudeinresidence 1 point ago +1 / -0

Boiling syrupy sugar water would really mess someone up. Just saying.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Deplorable_Badger 1 point ago +1 / -0

Invest in shitty bedpans and let the fun begin! Urine for a lot of fun!

1
clarefries 1 point ago +1 / -0

I think we just found a new sport to replace baseball and basketball.

1
Cyrcle55 1 point ago +1 / -0

Next time, try bricks.

1
TurdFerguson 1 point ago +1 / -0

Boiling oil next

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
morningpancakes 1 point ago +1 / -0

Oh man I'd totally buy a pallet full of eggs to throw at those idiots rioting and protesting

1
Tripin 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'd throw bricks if I lived there.