Holy shit man, that sounds like quite an ordeal. But if there ever was anything worth spending that much money on, your children would be it. Best of luck.

I think you should conduct an experiment: take a mental snapshot of what your kids are like now. Write down a description of their different attributes, abilities, behaviors and performance.

Then, after a year or two in the private school, do the same again.

Compare the difference. That will tell you if it was worth it or not. Well, that and not having to deal with school shootings.