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32
Modus_Pwninz 32 points ago +32 / -0

"I took a Street Medic course for my liberal arts degree from the University of Dumbfuckistan in Portland."

16
tombombadil 16 points ago +16 / -0

More like: “I got fired from a lifeguard job that my parents made me get one summer.”

5
rooftoptendie 5 points ago +5 / -0

More like: "I used to watch Baywatch. Stand aside, I got this."

3
PraiseBeToScience 3 points ago +3 / -0

Baywatch is too patrirachial ciagendered ableist white male fantasy. Needs more lifeguards with naquibs, g-strings, big tits, and huge dick hanging out.

2
rooftoptendie 2 points ago +2 / -0

tfw you get cancelled just as you are about to administer first aid because you aint woke enough.

2
Modus_Pwninz 2 points ago +2 / -0

"I got an F in 'sink or swim' when I kept chosing to sink...and that's how I learned I was a communist."