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Comments (231)
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154
featherwinglove 154 points ago +154 / -0

He also starts with a medkit fwiw.

83
Liver_Kick 83 points ago +83 / -0

It would be an Artifact

53
bearhammer 53 points ago +53 / -0

I was gonna say, mythic legendary with two common artifacts, medkit and AR-15. The AR-15 reads, If Kyle enters the battlefield, equip this for free.

44
Impressive-Length 44 points ago +44 / -0

The problem with this card is that it’s only good if your opponent is attacking you with Felons. This might work in a Felon heavy meta like Kenosha.

22
Jack_Burton 22 points ago +22 / -0

You could add “ every time a felon or pedo attacks Kyle, Hero of Kenosha, untap an artifact. “ Basically keep attacking with that AR-15

14
Amaroq64 14 points ago +14 / -0

tap that felon, then exile it*

9
SpezIsDead 9 points ago +9 / -0

search the opponent's deck for any copies of that card and banish them, the player then shuffles his/her deck.

6
Snipthetipandsip 6 points ago +6 / -0

"A felon is any monster attacking Kyle."

14
Slice 14 points ago +14 / -0

As long as you play in standard it should be fine, the last few sets of Dem packs are felon heavy. This wouldn't work in open for cards back in like the 1930s or the patriot 1776 pack. It still works OK for Legacy though back through the 90s

8
SpezIsDead 8 points ago +8 / -0

Honestly going so heavy on felon cards in this release was begging for a broken and imbalanced patriot deck with the next season. within a few weeks, the tournaments are going to all patriots decks.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
24
Jabron661 24 points ago +24 / -0

Plus gloves of sanitation (+5 against dirty communists)

5
catbertz 5 points ago +5 / -0

😂

5
DrBJTester 5 points ago +5 / -0

Top KEK comment, remember pedes kill a commie for your Mommy.

16
deleted 16 points ago +16 / -0
9
willy-willis 9 points ago +9 / -0

I'd recommend dropping them on his Facebook but that appears to be deleted, and I know of no other way to contact the legend directly. Ask Lin Wood (who certainly has a Twitter account) or his other lawyers if they could spare the time to show him positive messages and memes, perhaps?

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
4
willy-willis 4 points ago +4 / -0

Neither do I, or I'd have done it myself - the platform's too cancerous for my liking. But I am putting the suggestion out there anyway, in case any other pedes do have a Twitter account that hasn't been banned yet. I'd like to think that Wood and the rest of the Rittenhouse defense team have other means of contact (email or whatever) as well.

9
Skygrrrl 9 points ago +9 / -0

Billboard? Banner behind airplane? Sky writer? Pop song?

6
Rockribbed1 6 points ago +6 / -0

Extra magazine +1 defense

17
God_Emperor_of_Kek 17 points ago +17 / -0

and a fire extinguisher.

7
featherwinglove 7 points ago +7 / -0

Not in the actual situation. It was gone when the shooting started, but you can see it in this picture on his left side.

1
featherwinglove 1 point ago +1 / -0

He did grab a fire extinguisher at some point, maybe used it to put out a dumpster fire. And my other comment talking about the medkit seems to be talking about the fire extinguisher because I'm an idiot and don't pay attention to where my comments land, lol! Also, he still had his medkit when the shooting started, but it was gone by the time he was approaching the police (who didn't arrest him, by the way, they let him go home, he turned himself into the local department at his Illinois border town (his rifle was issued by locals in Wisconsin, so it didn't cross the state border that day), and the Wisconsin DA indicts him for murder in the most obvious self-defense shooting I've ever heard of. DAs and police should be vulnerable to getting fired and strung up for perjury in situations like this where the charges are brought on evidence that doesn't even rise to the level of reasonable suspicion.)

10
HeavensMandate 10 points ago +10 / -0

If we are being honest here, dude is a Planeswalker.

86
Pointaken 86 points ago +87 / -1

I’ll never not upvote MtG posts. Add Kyle? To the top!

51
featherwinglove 51 points ago +51 / -0

MtG? Oh, that's the brand new game by Wizards Of The Flyover States, right?

32
Chickenbaconpoutine 32 points ago +32 / -0

Magic The Gunnering

25
deleted 25 points ago +25 / -0
16
deleted 16 points ago +17 / -1
9
Lordofnothing 9 points ago +9 / -0

Is now a good time to tell you the price of the bayous I sold yesterday?

9
Ghostof_PatrickHenry 9 points ago +9 / -0

17

Habbening intensifies

4
GeraldBroflovski2020 4 points ago +4 / -0

i see what you saw there.

6
rooftoptendie 6 points ago +6 / -0

I used to have boxes and boxes of Beta. Those are gone now. No, I don't want to talk about it.

3
Moriartis 3 points ago +3 / -0

I feel you. I sold off my full set of duals when they went for $40 a pop.

That's okay, game's gone to shit as far as I'm concerned.

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
Ninki333 2 points ago +2 / -0

Did you hear about Spacegodzilla Death Corona?

61
CovfefeAnon 61 points ago +61 / -0

MAGA: The Ventilating

16
Elseebee 16 points ago +16 / -0

This needs more upvotes!

12
CovfefeAnon 12 points ago +12 / -0

If you enjoyed it that's enough.

41
Pukeahontas 41 points ago +41 / -0

Eradicator of Pedos

21
featherwinglove 21 points ago +21 / -0

and wife beaters.

5
Mr_Clit_Beastwood 5 points ago +5 / -0

And Bicep Bois

4
Awilen 4 points ago +4 / -0

Soycep*

35
canadianhere 35 points ago +35 / -0

3 multicoloured mana for a 3/3 first strike defender is actually pretty balanced.

31
deleted 31 points ago +31 / -0
42
canadianhere 42 points ago +42 / -0

Ah, Felon decks are so conditional these days.

22
deleted 22 points ago +22 / -0
5
Mr_Clit_Beastwood 5 points ago +5 / -0

Lol. Lesson here is don't shoot your Glock in the air while chasing a guy carrying an AR-15.

10
Kaggzz 10 points ago +10 / -0

Eh you just gotta treat them like old school gobboswarm decks. Load you mama with George's pocketbook artifact, protect with paid da and virtue signal, then watch all the 1/1 soys mix with the pedo Peters.

Really it takes a geotus lion or st kyle to counter once the felon gets rolling. Sure you can get counters to nip it before it starts, but if you can't interrupt before t4 you gotta take it seriously

5
rooftoptendie 5 points ago +5 / -0

0/1 soy tokens

2
Rockribbed1 2 points ago +2 / -0

How many dogs can you eliminate in a turn

5
FatAutistForTrump 5 points ago +5 / -0

I dropped out of magic for a while, but I don't recall ever seeing a first strike defender. Cool concept, but can't imagine Boros ever wanting it.

8
Wanderlust 8 points ago +8 / -0

He loses defender and gets +3/+1 when you play 1776.

7
Jack_Burton 7 points ago +7 / -0

Hell let’s go ahead and add trample as well!

5
Jikemenkins 5 points ago +5 / -0

I like the way you think ;-)

5
ProdigalPlaneswalker 5 points ago +5 / -0

Wall of Swords was in Alpha...

4
FatAutistForTrump 4 points ago +4 / -0

Isn't that flying defender?

6
ProdigalPlaneswalker 6 points ago +6 / -0

You're right. Wall of Spears was the original first striker with defender.

2
FatAutistForTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Totally forgot about that one. Interesting concept. Having first strike and significant power on a blocker could be useful in some control decks. Annoying losing a blocker to a combat trick

3
The_Left_The 3 points ago +3 / -0

Definitely a top-down design.

2
Arcades057 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wall of swords? I think that was forst strike.

2
GeraldBroflovski2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

I thought converted mana cost of 3 for a 3/3 would be break even. Any attributes (first strike, etc) on top of it make it that much better.

Then again, I haven't played MTG since Ice Age.

2
Wanderlust 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yes but defender is a negative, should make it cost less. So it balances first strike.

1
ModernKnight 1 point ago +1 / -0

That used to be the case, but power creep happened.

2
streakybacon 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, but in today's game :p I remember when White Knight was the standard for that sort of mana efficiency.

3
Jack_Burton 3 points ago +3 / -0

I just bought three white knights not long ago, figurines the woke WoC would ban it.

35
deleted 35 points ago +35 / -0
13
refresco 13 points ago +13 / -0

I wanted to get back into gaming but all the shit I wanted to do was owned by those cucks.

7
QUEEFY-VANDERSNATCH 7 points ago +8 / -1

Buy singles from the secondary market. Its the best way to get cards without giving money to wizards.

6
Wanderlust 6 points ago +6 / -0

There're programs that let you build decks from any cards from any edition and play online. You just have to know the rules and not rely on the computer to do anything for you. So like playing normal. Set up laptops in the same room and call it close enough.

4
rooftoptendie 4 points ago +4 / -0

can anyone tell me the name of said programs, because my son plays this one where you have to win matches against the computer to earn cards, and I refused to play that shit because I don't want to play the computer for hours on end to collect virtual cards, I just want to build decks and test them out before I build them in RL.

4
Joke65 4 points ago +4 / -0

Untap.in is a pretty good virtual tabletop.

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

ty!!!

3
Amaroq64 3 points ago +3 / -0

I used to use cockatrice, but I think it got taken down. Dunno if you can still get it and just play it offline.

2
Amaroq64 2 points ago +2 / -0

MTG Arena is actually really good and the computer enforces the rules of the cards.

4
StumpSmasher2 4 points ago +4 / -0

You can always proxy and pirate just about anything if your playgroup doesn't mind.

Edit: Now I want to make a pirate tribal theme deck that is ONLY proxies, just for the joke.

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

People who don't play with proxies are lame.

4
Arawn91 4 points ago +4 / -0

Exactly, I love commander, but I have better things to spend my money on than cardboard.

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

the game is supposed to be FUN. is how i see it. If youre at home building decks, and you need this one card, then just print it anyway and fuggeddaboudit.

10
ailurus 10 points ago +10 / -0

yeah, WotC has been trying to go woker and woker for several years now.

6
Knight1_of_Sunset 6 points ago +6 / -0

That was so bullshit. Banning just for racism. What's next, banning for sexism?

I hope something happens so that the ban category will be reversed. One can't ban cards for virtue signalling.

9
christianknight 9 points ago +9 / -0

They used to have hot queens, witches and sorceresses on the cards. Guess what happened to them...

6
Knight1_of_Sunset 6 points ago +6 / -0

That fact also makes me mad. I wish all the leftist cucks that are ruining our entertainment go away forever.

2
SHALL_NOT 2 points ago +2 / -0

Stupid sexy llanowar elves

2
rooftoptendie 2 points ago +2 / -0

they morphed into black wizards.

4
Jabron661 4 points ago +4 / -0

Ah, but you forget, you can't be racist against white people, and all his victims were white.

Plus he is brown (Hispanic) too, so double protection against racism.

4
Scooby721 4 points ago +4 / -0

I heard it put like this: MtG and D&D are the best games in the world, ran by the worst people in the world.

20
VTmaga 20 points ago +20 / -0

When St. Kyle comes into play, remove one grafitti enchantment from the game.

If St. Kyle becomes controlled by another player, he loses all 5.56 tokens and becomes Indestructible.

11
Okieshartpostdoke 11 points ago +11 / -0

I saw a post on Instagram yesterday, basically saying that just because he cleaned graffiti didn't make him good and they had a picture of Ted Bundy doing dishes for context 😆

9
Jabron661 9 points ago +9 / -0

Hilter played with dogs too. Manson could sing. Bill Clinton was a rapist, I mean this list could go on all day.

5
VTmaga 5 points ago +5 / -0

Also, Dahmer was happy to do the cooking, Gein would do the sewing, and Gacy would entertain the kids!

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
13
BIDENSACPADDICT 13 points ago +13 / -0

Flavor text: How does it feel to take a human life? I wouldn't know, I've only killed communists.

2
FREEDOM1st 2 points ago +3 / -1

-Rafał Gan-Ganowicz the Wise

12
Knight1_of_Sunset 12 points ago +12 / -0

If there is one nitpick I have about the card, the card should have a white and red background to match the hybrid color symbols. Other than that, nice job.

Oh, and before anyone complain, that raised fist icon is the actual Boros Legion icon, which will definitely welcome brave men like Kyle into their ranks in-universe.

5
Jack_Burton 5 points ago +5 / -0

Boros was my deck back when Ravnica first came out. Blazing Archon definitely make me think of Trump.

10
Liver_Kick 10 points ago +10 / -0

Special ability: "If your opponent is a mouth breather, or neck beard, or pedo, or domestic abuser, or a cuck, you may start the game with Kyle on the battlefield"

10
refresco 10 points ago +10 / -0

Banned in Type 2 already.

9
JimRaynor 9 points ago +9 / -0

Depends on the meta, what percentage of the players play felon decks. Defender is bad though. We want to attack too :)

But I stopped being interested in MTG when they began pushing identity politics, appearing China and fire Therese Nielsen (a lesbian woman) for being Trump.

7
deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
1
SHALL_NOT 1 point ago +1 / -0

Kyle on the field will shut down a felon deck, outside of that it is a pretty balanced card. Excellent side board card if felon decks are relevant in the format you play.

9
Chickenbaconpoutine 9 points ago +9 / -0

Cost should be red , white, blue.

3
DaesDaemar 3 points ago +4 / -1

white/red, white, white/blue

3
rooftoptendie 3 points ago +3 / -0

this.

2
ActivateMyTrumpCard 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah really they fucked up. It would also play up to the lore because White and Blue decks represent peace and valor while Red usually represents aggression aka Fuck Around Find Out

7
Jaxcen2407 7 points ago +7 / -0

You forgot the +20 damage to pedophiles.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
7
MobileDev4Trump 7 points ago +7 / -0

MtG is dead to me after they started purging conservative artists.

5
Beat_to_Quarters 5 points ago +5 / -0

Haven't given them a centin 7 years. Fuck em.

7
lmao 7 points ago +7 / -0

Him only targeting felons is kinda limited though. But I guess felons are part of the current meta, so considering that, he's kinda overpowered.

2
DeepWinter 2 points ago +3 / -1

Once this block rotates out then felons won’t be as common, hopefully. Otherwise a 3/3 for 3 Defender with First Strike is pretty much how we’ll all be playing next season. :P

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
5
Groupthinkgroupthink 5 points ago +5 / -0

Legendary Ability: First strike; can be reset if Kyle kills a creature, and is attacked by another creature in the same turn. This affect can reset and indefinite amount of times in the same turn.

5
deleted 5 points ago +6 / -1
1
Groupthinkgroupthink 1 point ago +1 / -0

To be honest I've no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to these card games.

:D?

2
DaesDaemar 2 points ago +3 / -1

No worries, in my former life I was a nerd who didn't care about politics.

In this scenario, St Kyle had three attackers he defended against. He is a defender so he can't attack but he can defend, and he has first strike so he can inflict damage before the others can. 3/3 means 3 damage 3 toughness, so given he can defend against many attackers and has enough damage for them all (1 point each for blue weenie) he can take them all out of the game without taking any damage.

The Protection from Felons modifier wasn't needed in this case, as they failed to use their weapons effectively.

Then again, the special ability wasn't even needed, given my blocking addendum, but good to have at any rate.

2
SHALL_NOT 2 points ago +2 / -0

If the attacking creatures are felons Kyle can use the ability without tapping.

Add in a “reload” enchant creature that costs X and reads “Reload comes into play with X magazine counters. Remove a magazine counter; tap enchanted creature: add 5.56 counters to enchanted creature until it has 30 5.56 counters”. Then when Kyle is running low you just reload before your untap phase.

If you really want to minmax here you can also add an enchantment “rule of law” that reads “whenever a creature attacks, it gains the felon subtype until end of game. Whenever a creature deals damage to a player or another creature, it gains the felon subtype until end of game unless the creature it damages is attacking. Whenever a creature destroys or removes from game another creature, it gains the felon subtype until end of game unless the destroyed or removed creature was a felon.”

1
Groupthinkgroupthink 1 point ago +1 / -0

I have gained knowledge today, thank you good sir.

1
DaesDaemar 1 point ago +2 / -1

Haha I think that was more for myself than for you, much useless knowledge. Cheers.

1
Groupthinkgroupthink 1 point ago +1 / -0

:D na i appreciate the bantz!

complete aside, i watch Rude on Alpha investments, but I dont play any TCGs ;O

1
DaesDaemar 1 point ago +2 / -1

heh, I'd never heard of him, but I just learned how to reseal a TCG box. Learn something new every day.

5
LibertyPrimeWasRight 5 points ago +5 / -0

Too bad WotC is filled with cucks—MtG and D&D are both great games that I fully expect them to run into the ground eventually.

7
StumpSmasher2 7 points ago +7 / -0

It's already happening with MtG, there's some wokeness popping up and the powercreep is being pushed to unsustainable levels.

3
Knight1_of_Sunset 3 points ago +3 / -0

Hopefully, they will be slapped down back to reasonable levels, or else I don't see a future for the game in a time where people are already clamping down on spending and necessary gatherings.

1
LibertyPrimeWasRight 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah, I know. Shame that it’s also starting to accelerate just as they’re finally getting a digital platform whose interface isn’t complete crap.

At least 5e seems mechanically solid.

4
The_Left_The 4 points ago +4 / -0

I know, right? Some of my fondest memories are playing Magic with my younger brother.

Wokeness wrecks everything it touches. I just hope MtG can be rebuilt.

1
StumpSmasher2 1 point ago +1 / -0

Unfortunately they seem to be going out of their way to destroy EDH too, that was a fun format until they started printing busted commanders and commander-only cards to sell precons.

Maybe some sort of unofficial format that begins and ends with the Ravnica blocks?

1
StumpSmasher2 1 point ago +1 / -0

We've been having a good time with it, we just pirate all the PDFs and ignore the lore when it gets woke. That's the great thing about TTRPGS... They can change the official setting all they want, but you can just ignore it and make your world whatever you want.

2
ChasingRed 2 points ago +2 / -0

WotC got their communist hands around the throats of MTG stores, killing the brand entirely. They started banning stores that have pro-american flags or anti-LGBT flags. They hold the power to ban individual players for speaking out on social media.

DND however is untouchable and it's growing in popularity, the fact WotC owns DND has no effect whatsoever on it's players. The rules are only a guide and players always homebrew, and no one enjoys adventure league modules more than a great home made story. Even Matt Mercer's Water Deep is saturated with PC bullshit and it's infinitely worse to play than a solid homebrew.

4
superwookee 4 points ago +4 / -0

Kyle!

The man they call Kyle!

He stood for right to protect the poor

Stood up to BLM and he gave them what for.

Or love for him now they cannot defile

The Hero Of Kenosha, the man they call Kyle!

4
Dialectic 4 points ago +4 / -0

Love this place.

Look at me. Look at me. We are the internet now

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
4
ds420 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lol he can be your commander!

3
StumpSmasher2 3 points ago +3 / -0

The Boros Legion can always use another recruit!

4
FitOfficial 4 points ago +4 / -0

For the uninitiated, red/white (the cost on the upper right) is Boros and Boros is all about law and order, honor, knights, etc.

Defender means he can't attack. He can only do damage if attacked.

First strike means when damage is dealt, he deals his damage first.

And sadly Legendary means there can only be one of him in play at a time. :(

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
4
bfett81 4 points ago +4 / -0

Got banned from r/MTCG for posting this. WORTH IT

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
4
BladderBeerPoopin 4 points ago +4 / -0

Skittles and Arizona Tea.

3
Arcades057 3 points ago +3 / -0

Loved that game, until the SJWs took over.

I learned from GWAR roadies back in the mid 90s, getting high as a Georgia pine and learning about life, broads and mana cost.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
3
streakybacon 3 points ago +3 / -0

Damn major powercreep since I started in 4th edition

3
Gilwork45 3 points ago +3 / -0

MTG has become incredibly cucked unfortunately. cool concept tho.

3
loveshock 3 points ago +4 / -1

I object to the "first strike" keyword because he waited until attacked. It was 100% self defense.

Hard to put exactly what happened into a magic card though.

Maybe:

If combat damage is dealt to St. Kyle, destroy the creature that dealt damage at end of combat.

7
deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
3
deleted 3 points ago +4 / -1
2
loveshock 2 points ago +2 / -0

Good point. I can see how that fits together now. Still, skateboard guy and curb stomper hit him first...and then he struck. But it's close.

1
ProdigalPlaneswalker 1 point ago +1 / -0

skateboard guy and curb stomper

Now that you mention them, maybe "double strike" would be more appropriate.

For flavor.

2
loveshock 2 points ago +2 / -0

Sold!

3
Landcruzer94 3 points ago +3 / -0

Cannot be the target of spells and abilities. Can be played any time as an instant

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
3
blackkit27 3 points ago +3 / -0

Defender in MTG is shit, it means you can't attack. This bad boy needs to have Deathtouch, Trample & Reach. I would also give it a Enters the Battlefield, fires controlled bursts (deals 5 damage divided as you choose among any number of targets).

3
SoldierOnFire 3 points ago +3 / -0

Human Hero (Hispanic) lol. I have a feeling we won’t be hearing about that part!

3
CaptainChrisPBacon 3 points ago +3 / -0

If anyone carrying a rifle and he has gloves...you know not to fuck with them.That is what really stands out of me on this hero

3
GGUWIN 3 points ago +3 / -0

This needs to be gold bordered with the legendary frame.

...and not Guilds of Ravnica set symbol.

3
Elseebee 3 points ago +3 / -0

This is fuckng awesome!

Top KEK!

3
RBSlim 3 points ago +3 / -0

Scrub graffiti and lifeguard against running around poolside

0
DaesDaemar 0 points ago +1 / -1

that's his reverse side

2
Dole 2 points ago +2 / -0

i would replace first strike with vigilance.

2
Saltyspicoli27 2 points ago +2 / -0

This makes me happy on do many levels

2
ImVoting4Trump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Protestor: Uses skateboard

Kyle: You have activated my trap card

2
Beat_to_Quarters 2 points ago +2 / -0

Defender sounds cool/appropriate but it normally is a shitty drawback. It means it can never attack for you. It just blocks all day. I'd replace it with vigilance, which sounds cool still and means it can attack while staying untapped to defend you. Fix the text formatting and you can fit in some funny flavor text. The card border should be half white and half red for that hybrid cost. Could "Partner with Lin Wood" as well for EDH.

2
SlickMahony 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol Boros! My favorite! I'll take 4!

2
Jamesten 2 points ago +2 / -0

So does he tapped after or he stays untapped and does he get +1 +1 after a felon is destroyed

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
2
Jamesten 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol I miss playing that game still have a crap load of cards in shoe box

2
KonaBadLad 2 points ago +2 / -0

I don't know anything about this game!!!

2
squanchingonpao 2 points ago +2 / -0

Anyone remember the old rainbow knights card? That could def be that one couple that stood outside their house with the rifle and pistol.

2
VetforTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Black Panther me.ber called for his execution. Glad the panthers like their fist and garb, make targeting simpler.

That picture just blows my mind. Wonder if they'll let him in the military after this

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
GunsWithGooglyEyes 2 points ago +2 / -0

Nah man, those two fuckers got exiled lol.

2
bfett81 2 points ago +2 / -0

should have been red white and BLUE but alas