It’s frustrating. Try being in the same employment situation but with a mortgage and family to support. Point being, it could always be worse.

You’re doing the best you can in a very depressing period of time, that’s called building character. The mindset you build now will either be an investment in yourself (how you retain your self-confidence in tough times yet to come) or it will destroy you (I.e. “fuck it, what’s the point”). You seem to practice the former and your language at the end of your post is a burst of justifiable frustration, nothing wrong with that.

Keep doing what you’re doing, the payoff will come.