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76
Mitschu 76 points ago +78 / -2
  1. RAPID BURN CS FUEL

  2. RUBBERIZED PLASTIC CAP (NOSE HEAVY)

  3. STIFF PLASTIC SHELL

  4. BRAIDED STEEL CABLE

  5. PULL FUSE

  6. SUPER-ADHESIVE TIP

  7. PERFORATED FUSE SLEEVE

  8. POLYSTYRENE TAIL AND FINS

  9. INVERTED GAS EJECTION PORTS X4

Okay, so far everything sounds quite within spec, a marvel of weapons technology. I'll go ahead and sign off on the...

RUBBERIZED PLASTIC AND LIGHTWEIGHT CONSTRUCTION WILL NOT HARM RIOTERS HIT WITH A DIRECT HIT.

Send it back to the lab, boys. This one's defective.

28
JustTheNews [S] 28 points ago +29 / -1

legal disclaimer lol, im sure you could spike someone with it too

16
RabidZoo 16 points ago +17 / -1

You should be able to throw it as far as one of those Nerf whistling footballs with the tails on them. That would be rad.

25
ChrisTheSoberITGuy 25 points ago +26 / -1

Bonus points if it has the whistle too

21
JustTheNews [S] 21 points ago +21 / -0

def ADDINg a whistle, the romans did that with their sling balls, but yes a whistle for nerf tribute and also psychological warfare

6
RabidZoo 6 points ago +6 / -0

Like the Stuka dive-bombers...psychological stress!!

2
BasteSpuds 2 points ago +2 / -0

Back in the day when you were laying seige to a fort people had poles that a drilled through stone would be put on the end and launched as missiles and make a whistling sound as they reigned down. It's a powerful psychological effect.

6
jive-ass-turkey 6 points ago +6 / -0

Those things were so rad, I haven't thought about those footballs in a long time.

Before I read your comment I didn't see that this was a grenade. I guess it is meant to be literally tossed underhand like a lawn dart, but I think I like the overhand football style option better.

Maybe get Elway or Favre out of retirement and deputize one of them to make it a real show.

Thing still looks like a mortar to me.

3
RabidZoo 3 points ago +3 / -0

I haven't thought about those for years either! This sparked it. It would be better if you could drill one of those commies right in the chest with it! Or face! And I agree...deputize some badass retired QBs to launch them from a block away!

Definitely looks like a mortar though. That would also be a nifty anti-riot toy...CS/permanent ink mortars...lol...then we can find those assholes in the days and weeks afterwards and make their lives hell.

2
CuomoisaMassMurderer 2 points ago +2 / -0

Favre would break bines with it. I would try.

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magaroniAndCheese 6 points ago +7 / -1

lol, image popped in my head of some extreeeme 90s commercial of a kid in a neon diamond pattern windbreaker goin wild with it

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
2
RabidZoo 2 points ago +2 / -0

Zubaz pants!! Remember those?!

5
FakeNametag 5 points ago +5 / -0

With their noodle arms, antifa would never be able to throw it back far enough to reach the good guys

4
RabidZoo 4 points ago +4 / -0

I didn't even think that far ahead. Great point!

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
JustTheNews [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

im 11B kinda lol too small way

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
3
Imransgarage 3 points ago +3 / -0

Thought you might be John Solomon for a minute lol.

3
rob0Pede 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yah you had me until the bottom right corner. So close.

2
BladderBeerPoopin 2 points ago +3 / -1

CS... What's wrong with VX or Sarin?