Greetings fellow pedes. I’m just feeling kinda sad right now, because one of my closest friends is basically signaling that he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore because of political differences.
Long story short, he’s a lawyer, super smart, very well-intentioned, and thinks that he’s improving the world by believing in and advocating every aspect of BLM, critical race theory, systemic racism, etc.
But he’s messaged me a few times because he’s very troubled by my social media posts, since they’re almost all videos of BLM riots, burning, looting, etc.
So he’s reached out to me to basically say that he’s worried about me and that he thinks I’m being radicalized and he has nothing but good to say about BLM stuff, and since he views it as an issue of morality, he’s not sure if he can be friendly with someone who doesn’t support it.
Of course I have no intention of changing my mind or being less vocal, but it does make me sad that I may lose a friend due to his own intolerance of me. I wish there was some way to get through to him that I’m not the monster he thinks I am, but the more I explain myself, the less he seems to actually hear me.
there's a big difference between friends and frens
Here we are the bestest of frens.
Interesting that he’s not actually addressing the violence, just saying he doesn’t want to see it - he’s essentially putting his fingers in his ears. I understand he’s your friend though, it’s hard.
The lawyer that can't stand evidence and disagreement. LOL.
Reeeeeee facts
Hopefully one from Craig's list labeled "gently used."
You friend is choosing his dogma over you. Guess who has the problem in this relationship?
It's funny that he doesn't want to tolerate you. That seems pretty intolerant. I can't stand the hypocrisy of the left. They say black lives matter, unless if you are black and support Trump. They says gays and trans matters, unless if you support Trump. Face if the left doesn't represent the same values that they once did. No longer are the days of free speech or equality. Now they value censorship, violence, racism(minorities=good, whiteness = bad), and anti-individualism. Face it. You are better off without this so called friend.
You have to approach it as rescuing a loved one from a cult, which is quite literally true. Use the Socratic Method, that's the only way to force them to think.
Their ego isn't gonna listen, it's gonna reflexively defend itself and protect it's cognitive dissonance because it feels good.
Worse case scenario try to leave on good terms after planting the seed.
He doesn't respect you. Sorry Pede but that's the truth. It is classic narcissism. He wants you to be his mirror, reflecting back all that he wants to see and hear. When you resist- he starts to gaslight you. See- you are the problem. Your reality is actually insanity. That is what he wants you to believe. He is actually trying to break you.
So him the videos of them chatting death to America
No. In my experience they rationalize it away by condemning the specific individuals chanting "death to America" and asserting that they're not characteristic of the broader movement.
Same with my friends and family that are lawyers, even in Texas.
The way I see it is that they are kind of part of "the establishment" for the most part and for the most part get along by playing by the rules and not rocking the boat. If they have ever also been a judge or dabbled in politics (a lot do), then just double that "don't rock the boat" tendency.
The lawyers I know 1) live away from the city in gated communities so they see no consequences of bad economic, immigration, or law enforcement policy and 2) are self-employed so never feel the scourge of SJW HR departments up close and 3) make at least part of their living by kissing ass and keeping in good graces with the local judicial and elected swamp. They fear not being accepted in their "society" more than anything. Unfortunately the BARs lean left or tort reform would have happened long ago.
I think some of them are turning away from the Dems though. The riots and anarchy are showing them that shit can get real in their neighborhoods really fast too.
It’s unfortunate and I think if Trump wins it will be worse because you will be seen as “part of the problem”
same here, one of my closest friends is a UC Berkeley grad, Masters in Environmental Science but knows the DNC is shit (he's registered Green but i know his circle, and they're all deranged with TDS)... i like the guy a lot, and i value the friendship; some others? not so much.
I wish I could offer advice that would solve this all, but I would say that you should do your best to never make any comments in anger or emotion to him (not that you would), but try to maintain composure. Stress logic in discussions. It is possible he will come around in the future, but be as patient as possible. Best of wishes on this.
I had the same thing happen. It was hard at first, but then I realized how much less stressed I was. I wasn't worried about what he was thinking about everything I said at parties, or just hanging out. He would frame questions in leading ways that if you answered in line with reality, would make you feel like the bad person. It was worse than being around a religious fanatic trying to convert you or an abusive boyfriend who blames you for them getting mad. Walkaway.... It's better to be swimming alone than tied to an anchor.
Your friend is gay and a faggot and not as smart as you think. I don't give a fuck- anyone suffering from TDS and allows themselves to believe the MSM narratives, is by definition, not smart. And TPTB take advantage of that.
Tell him BLM is a marxist organization. And only idiots support Marxism. Tell him to read some history about it to understand.
This literally just happened to me. Was uninvited from the wedding and bachelor party because I was concerned about the recent uptick in riots around the area where the party would have been staying. Basically was told I was radicalized and he was sickened by my belief that Kyle Rittenhouse was defending himself. So I am here for you. Best friend of 10 years....gone in an instant.
Go find some normal people to be friends with. Get a cult deprogramming book if you want to try to help him. Don't be surprised if he's not as good as you think, even people that live with someone may not see the real them until years later.
Relevant: https://youtu.be/CnSDdpzq2oo
Which black lives matter exactly? Because evidently they all don't to BLM otherwise they'd be rioting for David Dorn. So your friend supports an ideology that over half a million of our relatives fought to eradicate in the wars of the last century. You can't convince some of them just the same as you can't convince a psychopath that murder is wrong
Thank him for his tolerance, then tell him to go fuck himself.
surprising that anyone would still consider a blm supporter a 'friend'.
a lot of this going around lately and i too am going through some similar difficulties but you know what? motherfuck these people; they make our families less safe at home and abroad.
Good friends don’t gaslight you. Cut him out, self hating whites are a lost cause
Fuck him. Thats a friend?
Give me a pede who is an asshole over a nice goody two shoes "friend" any day.
It is a moral issue, and you are on the right side of it. Anyone who supports the use of violence as a political tool is not moral.
...Just out of curiosity, what state is your attorney friend licensed to practice law in?
It sucks but it's part of the process.
I've lost friends regularly from 2010 when I woke up to the bullshit.
Stay strong! I have a feeling most of here have lost friends these last few years. I lost 2 of my 3 longest friendships. They just believe what the news says, and refuses to do any real research. Finally had to stop speaking with them. It wasn't easy.
Just stop talking politics with them.
Was he really a friend if he is in love with burning, looting and murdering? With racial terrorism, robbery and other crime? With 'burning the system' that he just so happens to be part of? Does he think he can whine 'I'm on your side!' when a mob comes to burn his office or home, and things will immediately become peaceful again? Does he think real communism has never been tried, and the next time its done will surely be utopia.. never mind all the 100 million people dead so far? Gotta keep doubling down on that?
Magic 8 ball says.. not a friend.
If they are ready to break a friendship over your stance regarding BLM, then it is obvious that you value their friendship more than they value yours. You may remind them that BLM will dissappear right after the election not to resurface until 2024 just as they did in 2016 or you may just find yourself questioning why you would have them in your life anyways if they could cast you aside so easily...
It might be that he's genuinely concerned about you. A lot of people are having trouble during "these challenging times" and even though you may be closer to truth about what's going on politically, he might be right about you getting overly immersed in it. Friends are good to have. Maybe see where you agree and limit your conversations with him to that. Also, it's okay to dump people from your SM if they don't mesh with your lifestyle - it's doesn't mean you can't still be friends.
Ask your friend:
If he believes in individualism, personal responsibility, self agency, freedom of speech, hard work, and that he CAN judge a person by their character alone.
If he does believe in any one of those, ask him to show where BLM supports that belief.
Ask him to start here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/
If his only principle is power for his team... sorry.
Let the failures leave your life, you'll be better off.
You make him doubt his "religion" by showing him what he doesnt want to acknowledge, therefore YOU are the problem.
Bleeding heart liberals, all talk, no solutions, circle jerk, ruin everything and blame everyone else.(critical race theory)
You'll find other friends, real friends, not man child puppets.
You're pointing out problems with HIS sacred cow. Tell him to clean up his shit; it's obviously failing in the lab of democracy. For a "forward thinker" you'd think your buddy would learn to fail fast and try something different but they're ignoring the problems with their new religion. Screw them
Consider that he is actually worried about you, then consider he thinks that you are turning into a 'bad' person is is trying to 'save you'. Just like you are him! well how about instead of fighting him on so many things start by one small thing at a time.
Tell him I'm glad you are concerned about me, I value our friendship and want to you understand that what I'm doing is out of love and not hate. I know we don't understand each other right now but lets start one thing at a time.
For example start with equality is good, but you just don't like destruction, you like the great Republican Dr Luther King.
For system racism bring up how Trump just started and the system rejects him, but Biden been with the system for 30+ years. Even if Trump is racists he isn't worse than Biden because good minority unemployment before and after pandemic, and two if Biden had 30+ you don't want him in office anyways. The Democrats definitely isn't 'good enough' if Obama couldn't do it in 8 years. If racism is never going away why not at least have a good economy so more black voices can be heard due to less economic suppression?
It sounds like your friend experiences pain by accepting information you provide that contradicts his world view.
One of my closest friends is a strong communist while I am absolutely nothing of the sort. We are very close in terms of values but are worlds apart on what the facts are.
I hope your friend can value you as a person and move past strong personal differences. I take my friendship day by day and have done so for over eight years.
I hope my story helps in some small way. I will not lie. His "very troubled" lawyer talk pisses me off. In our adversarial court system where he must advocate for one party in an issue I bet he is most troubled to discover there is another side.
End of the day, you have to be true to yourself. If you can close your eyes to what you know just to be accepted by others, you'll live a shallow life without authenticity. If you stand strong, others, like your friend, are going to walk away. It's sad, but you'll have inner peace for doing the right thing.
I've had friends cut me out of their lives because of politics. I've never been confrontational or overbearing. As far as I'm concerned, our friendship doesn't have to have any politics in it. Let's talk about our families, community, and hobbies. But, no, there are people who can't abide someone thinking differently from them. They have to push their politics.
Sure, it's sad when a friend thinks the worst of you. But I don't do that repressive blackmail nonsense where "I can only be your friend if you agree with me." You'll never convince your friend, because that's not what he wants. He wants you to bend the knee and agree with him.
The personal is now political. He won’t risk his colleagues denouncing him over you.
I lost a lot of “friends” over all this too. Good to have frens tho. TGFTD