Still got my guns
Black guy in there said Joe Biden should be in not him I told him I agree
Reason I was there is because buddy overdosed on heroin and his girlfriend who was also my ex and best friend slit her throat. She was the mother of my child.
Going to his shitbed soon and see him in the casket. He was a piece of shit, had no potential and a shell of a man. But he was my buddy.
Going to be hard seeing her at her funeral. I loved her, will always love her. Hopefully I can deal. I'm sure she will be beautiful as ever. Rest in piece Sydney.
Here was her favorite song. Hope you listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOHkyZ62jjQ
Thanks for all the messages, you guys convinced me not to do it. I'm back and a shit ton of medication but I'm not craving Jack Daniels anymore. Feeling alright.
One more thing
MAGA
As a survivor of a suicide attempt when I was very young and someone with multiple suicides in my wife's family, I just want to say to you that things can and WILL be better. Don't doom your child to a life of wondering why daddy isn't around and a constant nagging in his/her mind that maybe he/she could have done something to stop it.
A few random thoughts from my experience:
Be the best man you can possibly be. Put your energy into that instead of negativity.
Men lift weights. Do that. Get strong as fuck. Then get stronger. It'll make you feel better all around.
Every time you feel like tearing yourself down, build something. Stop yourself, take a deep breath and build something. Either literally or figuratively. Construct things. A business. A book shelf. A relationship. Something. Before you know it, you'll take a step back and another deep breath and behold all that you have built and accomplished. You will be in awe of what you are capable of.
Be a dad. Cherish every moment, because it's the most important thing you'll ever do. Once in a while a dark thought still creeps into my head, but the thought of my son growing up and me not seeing it is too much for me to bear.
Get your hormones checked. Low T can happen to any guy and can cause serious depression. I've seen guys on boatloads of anti-depressants get completely off with TRT. It's worth a look.
Oh yeah, and fuckin' MAGA like a motherfucker!