Hello, long time lurker, first time poster. I have been following thedonald since 2016, but have just been lurking. Been lurking damn near every day for years. I've never been much for social media, but I think that will change because I love you all and love everything that this site stands for. I need to be more involved.
I've been a student for 3 years, working on a degree in forestry. I've always been a straight A student until this year. This year has hit me hard. After the lock downs hit and all classes went online, I started falling behind in school. I've had some family issues this year, and after watching our country seemingly implode over the last year, I fell into a deep depression. I started drinking way too much and going on days long benders. I somehow managed to pass all of my online classes this Spring and Summer, but then Fall hit with 5 online classes and I fell apart. I started falling way behind in everything and decided today to withdraw from my university to take the semester off. I cannot learn effectively from all online courses.
I finally realized that I needed help with my alcohol dependency and have signed up for treatment. It took lots of courage to do this because I hate asking for help for anything in life. I am currently in a bad place as I've just withdrawn from university, am about to start alcohol use disorder treatment, and feel like I'm just spinning my wheels in life. If school stays online, I will not be going back. How does one learn forestry effectively through online learning?
Luckily I have many conservative friends to talk to, but I'm still just in this emotional hole. I am very worried about the future of our country and am ready to fight if it comes to it to save our republic. Any advice or words of wisdom are welcome. I'm sure things will get better, but right now I'm hurting pretty badly.
Your focus now has to be on you and your emotional health. Back burner your concern for our country. Obviously vote but your country needs you sober. Taking a semester off isn't the end of the world. Things are changing quickly and by the time next semester rolls around you could be looking at an entirely different situation regarding your coursework. First things first.
Thank you, you're correct, first I need to take care of my mental health and overall well being. When I withdrew from school yesterday, it did feel like the end of the world, but luckily I've got a stellar GPA and should be able to go back if things get more normal without any issue. Sometimes in the midst of big changes it is hard to realize that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
You were smart to withdraw before you got in over your head. You have just paused it, that is all. School will be there waiting. You are also addressing the addiction issue before it overwhelms you. You are making excellent decisions. Just have confidence!
Thank you, all of the positive comments on this post have really helped me feel better.
They say it's always the darkest right before the Dawn and the sun comes up.
This will be settled in November.
I guarantee it.
I certainly hope so.
God bless you all. I'm literally crying because of how supportive everyone has been. I'll check in tomorrow and get back to everyone.
Thank you for your kind words. I pray for the future of our country and for all of us pedes out there.
It's rare that things go exactly as planned. We learn to adapt to the events. You can do this. You have a path and an obstacle in your path. You tried digging a hole and it didn't remove the obstacle. Now you're digging out of the hole to try something else. Take this time and go to the forest with the knowledge you have. Use your eyes. Come back with your questions. Work hard, get dirty. you'll be fine.
Thank you. It's hard to see a way forward sometimes when you have obstacles in front of you, but you are right. Life never goes as planned and you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back up and keep going. I've never been a quitter, I'll get through this one way or another.
You won't just get through, you'll grow through this. The hardest things I faced, the things I thought I could never get through, and then got through, are the things that give me courage now when I face today's insurmountable challenges. But today they are challenges instead of the end of the world. P.S. Godspeed, Pede.
It sounds like you need to take one step at a time, and the first step is treating your addiction to booze. Focus on that first and don't worry about anything too far down the line. Get healthy and get ready to take the next steps after that.
Strength, friend. You have supportive voices here, even if they're anonymous.
Thank you, you guys are all very supportive. I should have been more engaged with this community years ago!
You're right, this has been such a crazy year and sometimes it feels so overwhelming. One of my conservative friends has just completely stopped checking the news this past year and just focused on hiking, shooting, working out, and elk hunting. He's my happiest friend haha. While I could never completely stop checking the news, he may be onto something.
Honestly, sounds to me like you need something to occupy your downtime. You need work. Whether an extra part-time job, volunteering (firefighting is a suggestion), or just doing chores. A sedentary life is more often than not the main cause of drug and alcohol abuse.
I’ve been a borderline alcoholic for years, but I keep it under control with work during weekends. Taking care of my place, cutting firewood, and mowing/snow removal on the side. I still drink too much at the end of the day, but I KEEP it at the end of the day.
I am currently working for local government and as a bartender part-time on the weekends. I know, not great for my alcohol addiction, but the money is fantastic as I live in a thriving college town and usually only have 1 or 2 drinks at work. Without classes, I'll be working 5 days a week which I think will help keep my body and mind busy. I think the combination of stress from the "pandemic", online classes keeping me staring at a computer for hours everyday, and lack of work all led to my depression and drinking issues. I already feel better working the last 2 days in a row with my supportive conservative coworkers. I'm about half way towards my red card certification and may do wildland firefighting next summer to keep busy. I grew up cutting firewood as my main chore to heat the house as I grew up in a rural mountain town. Somehow, I really miss splitting and bucking wood haha.
Hey there pede. Although I'm only 30... I'd like to say I'm an addiction expert. Full blown opiate addict by 14. I've been dependent on alcohol as well. It seems like you are choosing an outpatient program, can I ask how long you have been drinking? How long had it been bad? What do you consider bad? Do you have to have it to function? Do you wake up with the shakes until you have your first drink?
Hey fellow pede, I'm also about your age, started school later in life. Yes, it's an outpatient program. The first time I drank, I was 13 (very limited adult supervision growing up and a rough childhood). Didn't really drink again until junior and senior year of high school at parties. Never really drank that much except for in social settings until about 3 years ago. Then started drinking a couple beers every night, then it turned into 4 beers every night, and now I'm probably at an average of about 8 beers every night, but not domestic beers, usually high ABV IPAs. I would say it got bad, in my opinion at least, in March at the beginning of all the lock downs. That's when I started to feel like I was out of control and doing high risk things while intoxicated that I later regretted. I do not have to have it to function, but I'm worried that I may get that way, which is why I've started treatment now. I do need it to sleep though, and nights when I don't drink I have horrible insomnia. I do not wake up with the shakes until I have my first drink, although I have found myself having the shakes on a couple of occasions about mid day.
Opiate addict at 14 is wild my dude. How did this happen to you at such a young age if you don't mind me asking? How did you get over your alcohol dependency?
Do you have SnapChat or something or some way I can send you and audio message to explain it all. Believe it or not I'm actually just now starting back school. At this point I don't think you need an inpatient program. Unless you are unable to quit having a drink during this program. The only good thing about inpatient programs is that it forces you into a setting where you are physically unable to get to any alcohol/drugs.
I do not have snapchat or any form of social media. I'm pretty old school. I'll message you my email if that works. I would love to hear your story and any advice you can send my way though. Thank you for your comments and wisdom.
Will do
Being man enough to admit you have a problem and need help is a huge step. Don't discount how much of an effort those first steps take. I know it seems like an impossible thing to overcome now but as time goes on you will only become better and stronger. Today I am 5 years 2 months and 20 days sober, and I can tell you not one thing in my life has been made worse by this journey. Get the help you need and take it to heart, these people know what they are talking about because 9 times out of 10 they were right where you were at one point. You fucking got this, and this world is going to get better than you or I could possibly imagine. Feel free to DM me if you need anyone to talk to. I'll be praying for you my friend.
Your comment really hit home. It's hard to admit you have a problem, especially when you grew up in a family of heavy drinkers that teach you to not talk about your problems. I love hearing about others who overcame their obstacles and persevered. Thank you for your kind words.
You are much stronger than you think!
And you’ve got US, Pede! We’re the best
You guys truly are the best.
Good for you, I am an alcoholic, been off it for 20 years. It is the right move.
President Trump will win re-election handily, and believe him when he says next year will be the best year ever!
Have you thought about joining the forest service or wildland firefighting?
I have actually. I'm about halfway to getting all the certs I need for a redcard and think I'll spend the next week figuring out what else I need to get it and then applying for it. Then if classes don't go on campus in the Spring, I'll have more options.
Do it!! If you get done experience under your belt You really do have options:
https://www.fs.usda.gov/sites/default/files/2019-10/fsfaqg_9_october_2019_final_0.pdf
https://www.nps.gov/subjects/fire/wildland-fire-incident-qualifications.htm
I feel so bad for young people who are trying to get started in life and now are basically treading water while simultaneously dealing with the uncertainty of whether life will ever return to the real normal. Good on you for reaching out for help.
I've heard that alcohol and drug abuse is really about self-medicating, so maybe there is some underlying issue like depression that is the real issue. I'm obviously not a doctor so I'm not trying to diagnose you. The reason I mention this is because I struggle with depression and one thing that helps me cope is to stay busy. Have you thought about getting a job until you can go back to school? I mean, first take care of your alcohol dependency of course. But there have got to be tons of jobs related to forestry, especially now with the wildfires. Here are some current opportunities in government:
https://www.usajobs.gov/Search/Results?k=forestry
We had a tree trimmer guy once who had a degree in forestry. So maybe working in that field is a possibility too.
I think you could still make progress toward your career in forestry and keeping busy/feeling productive would help with your emotional issues as well.
I sincerely wish you all the best.
Thank you for your well thought-out comment. Yeah, I also feel bad for young people just getting started out. I at least have a decade of work experience under my belt, so I have options from experience, but I know kids that are in their teens just starting college and they are so concerned for the future and feel lost. There has definitely been some self-medicating. Nothing has been diagnosed, but I suspect that I suffer from anxiety and perhaps a mild form of depression. I had a pretty fucked-up childhood, and some of my demons have come back to haunt me this year in the form of the family issues I mentioned in my first post. Staying busy definitely helps me feel more okay. This year has consisted of me staring at a screen for hours every day trying to learn online from half-baked video lectures from professors that have never taught online classes before and me hardly working at all. I'm sure that has exacerbated my issues. I'm back to working full time as of yesterday with the local government in my city and as a bartender on the weekends (I know that sounds bad as I have alcohol problems, but I only drink 1-2 drinks at work tops and the money is great). I will continue to make treating my alcohol dependency my first priority however. I think I'll work towards finishing my certs for a redcard and getting into wildland firefighting next summer and continue my current jobs for the time being. Hopefully school goes back to a normal format in the Spring and I can go back, but I refuse to do 4 more online semesters if it doesn't.
Huge step you are taking, I support you fully. Hang in there and take it day by day. I know you’ll get through this, you have enormous courage for getting help and starting the program. Know that everyone here is rooting for you and sending prayers and positive thoughts.
Thank you, I really appreciate the positive comments. I'm nervous to start, but optimistic for the future. I know I'll eventually get through this, it's just hard now.
Routines are very powerful and a new routine would likely help me in my life. My typical routine pre-covid used to mean working from 6-3 and then hiking for several hours and then working on my Jeep. I intend to get back to this because it really was my stride. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment and hope to learn from everyone here, you included. I am not a particularly religious man, but I fully respect everybody's right to practice any religion they see fit. I grew up with agnostic parents, but grow more towards Christianity through the years. Have Jewish heritage, but more identify with Christian values.
I have been focusing on my degree for 3 years, but I refuse bullshit online classes! This is never what I wanted, and if it stays this way, I will drop out for good.