You think that you're talking about doing something righteous or justified or necessary, but the reality is that you are selfish and weak and scared. Selfish because you're only thinking of your own perverse "glory"; you're asking for approval from strangers in the internet of a heinous act. Weak because you can't endure injustice and peacefully live in the face of adversity and corruption. Scared because you don't have hope for the future or heaven and must control the present, even with violence.

You are not well. You should humbly seek help from a professional with your mental and emotional issues. There is no shame in getting some help. This is not normal behavior. It is wrong and very concerning. Whatever you're thinking about doing, you need to acknowledge it is wrong and evil. You need to replace this crap in your mind. Don't let it fester. The only surefire solution is to fill your head with gratitude for what you do have. Gratitude takes exercise of the will but it's just like doing push ups. Do a bit more every day and you will be jacked in no time.

Things are getting better all the time and you're already on the right side of history - with us! We are all happy to love freedom together and willing to die for it if necessary. We are all on the same team here. We don't want you to harm or think about harming anyone. It's easy to get caught up in all the injustice, but just go outside and go for a walk. Appreciate nature. Life is good.

Don't give up everything and become a villain, hated by everyone, simply because you gave up hope and didn't have the endurance to see things through. Don't become something worse than the people you hate. Because that's exactly what you are talking about.