I'm hungry so I head to the kitchen. I open the cupboards, and it's all salt as far as the eye can see. Top shelf, bottom shelf, every cupboard I check. So I open the fridge, nothing but salt as well, even in the crisper. I'm desperately hungry, I check the pantry shelves, all of it, every shelf is salt. I'm ravenous, I head to my car and check my lunchbox, as soon as I open it, salt just comes pouring out. In my desperation, I decide to try some. It turns out it's all sourced from 100% pure liberal tears. I feel it coursing through me, nourishing me like nothing I've ever eaten before. My power is growing. It sustains me. It starts to interact with me on a molecular level. My DNA starts mutating. I begin radiating energy. Nothing can stop me now, I've become too powerful.