She lives in England with her partner and 5 year old son. Not seen her in more than a decade, but we stayed in touch, and she sent me photos of my grandson occasionally.
I’ve always tried not to talk politics with her, but we both broke that rule this week. I’ve always known she was a left leaner, so no reason to start friction. But yesterday, she told me because of my conservative views and my staunch support of President Trump, I would never be welcome to visit.
She said she and Patrick, her partner, couldn’t tolerate me. She also said she’s never coming back here.
And all this after I spent the majority of my savings paying off her tremendous student loans. Broke my heart. But I can’t change who I am. I can’t even tell you how much it saddens me that I’ll never meet my grandson. I hope he takes after me.
He's right for different reasons. They could fight the will and get a cut, claim they were forgotten in the writting for one reason or another. Specifically name each person you believe will fight the will or demand things from it. Name them and give them a dollar.
This way if she matures and becomes respectful and they mend the bridge, you can change the amount.
As someone who went through an estate fight, a will is good, a trust is better. Trusts are VERY, VERY, VERY hard to crack into and fight. The amount of work that goes into one setting it up, leaves no doubt to intentions.
If this were me, I would set up a trust for the grandchildren when they reach 18, and financially independent from the parents - you can also spread the payouts - pay for college at 18, pay out the rest in small increments or as a lump when 30.
But that doesn't heal the hurt. Nothing really does. As an outsider, any child who estranges herself from her family over politics might as well be lost to a cult, like Scientology - it's not her speaking, it's radicalization/brainwashing. I can't imagine the kick in the guts it is. Especially if something goes wrong, and she's running back crying "Daddy!".
My grandfather knew my situation and wisely made my inheritance kick in at age 19, when I was far out of my parents' grasps. Unfortunately, he'd placed attorneys in charge of "handling" it, and their hefty annual fees left practically nothing by the time I was 19.
If I were doing the same today, I'd make the age of inheritance older, where the grandchild was more mature and could handle the money better. Maybe mid-20s or even 30, where the money could be appreciated and help them buy a house.