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438
ginpunk 438 points ago +442 / -4

Two birds don't make a right.

225
Pedeberrycrunch 225 points ago +225 / -0

A bird in the hand is worth two wrongs.

211
SoldierofKek 211 points ago +211 / -0

A bird in her hand is worth none in her bush.

225
deleted 225 points ago +226 / -1
178
deleted 178 points ago +180 / -2
31
SoldierofKek 31 points ago +32 / -1

God damn that's funny too....

9
Warren_Puffitt 9 points ago +9 / -0

Legit read that in Dice Man voice.

4
DoesItWorkAlready 4 points ago +4 / -0

I came here for keks, and got rhyming.

The keks they rhyme

76
IncredibleMrE1 76 points ago +77 / -1

Look, fat.

68
WhitePowerRanger 68 points ago +70 / -2

C’mon man. Here’s the deal. Seven tacos for sure and little bit too sweet for the kids. Boink boink bibbity bloo flippy floppy nips. Listen. You don’t just take a bird, and make a sandwich out of it. Who’s counting?

-Biden 1920

39
TrollToll 39 points ago +39 / -0

Lmao Goddammit this is the funniest website in the world

10
BadManOrange 10 points ago +10 / -0

C'mon man, everybody knows that two birds are in the bushes. My hands are going to rub hairs on those little birds just like the kids use to do to my legs. Look, my dad used to say, Joe sometimes you feel around and find a bush, other times, ya don't. I took those words to heart because when it comes to the thing... you know.. you gotta... the fact is... we just need to make sure that... it makes no sense.

2
SteelDriver 2 points ago +2 / -0

You lying, dog faced pony soldier!

30
Tranny_Fluid 30 points ago +30 / -0

A hand in the bird is worth more than her bush

15
SoldierofKek 15 points ago +15 / -0

ROFL....This has gotta be the best one yet.....because it's true

15
DoYouBelieveInMAGA 15 points ago +16 / -1

Give a man a bird, he has a bird for a day. Give a man two birds and he has two birds.

15
HockeyMom4Trump 15 points ago +16 / -1

She has two birds in her bush

29
Flipbarryfromreddit 29 points ago +30 / -1

Jesus Christ did you see the hate in that woman???? Jesus Christ!

16
Damadhatter 16 points ago +16 / -0

Did you just assume their gender????

16
Flipbarryfromreddit 16 points ago +16 / -0

Yeah I did 😂 these ppl have pure evil filled within them it’s creepy asf

1
TuckerCarlsonsTie 1 point ago +1 / -0

Did you just assume Jesus Christ is non-binary and not two spirited!!????

14
Flipbarryfromreddit 14 points ago +14 / -0

Pure rage. You can tell she truly hates herself

4
MedPede 4 points ago +4 / -0

She should be cited for reckless driving and not wearing a seat belt. She should probably go home and rethink her life.

3
ORD_to_SFO 3 points ago +3 / -0

I have a feeling she was cited for that. Those cops must have witnessed the whole thing...they were so close that they just sauntered over after it happened.

3
Quietam_Unum 3 points ago +3 / -0

A bush in the hand is worth two birds?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
46
stratocaster_patriot 46 points ago +46 / -0

Let's get two birds stoned at once Bubbles. But fuck seagulls, I haven't got time for those cocksuckers.

21
WhitePowerRanger 21 points ago +21 / -0

I’m a simple man. When I see a Ricky quote, I updoot.

Smokes boys! Let’s go!

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
6
Destineed369 6 points ago +6 / -0

Not as bad as the bumblecocks. Or dump bees

7
Themustardtiger 7 points ago +7 / -0

Suit dummies are the worst.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
1
TuckerCarlsonsTie 1 point ago +1 / -0

What about a Green Eggs and Haaaaaaaammmmm!?

12
Coslin 12 points ago +12 / -0

Or a stop, apparently.

8
IntergalacticWalrus 8 points ago +8 / -0

Get two birds stoned at once Julian.

4
Cosmo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Three rights make a left.