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225
Pedeberrycrunch 225 points ago +225 / -0

A bird in the hand is worth two wrongs.

211
SoldierofKek 211 points ago +211 / -0

A bird in her hand is worth none in her bush.

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deleted 225 points ago +226 / -1
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deleted 178 points ago +180 / -2
70
commies0ride0free 70 points ago +70 / -0

Brilliant

22
anduriliamfotw 22 points ago +23 / -1

to follow the traditional rhyme scheme, it wld be, “hey witch, why car you mashed?” but “why u no stops” is funny haha.

10
deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
8
VTmaga 8 points ago +8 / -0

Obviously because there are no brakes on the Trump Train!

31
SoldierofKek 31 points ago +32 / -1

God damn that's funny too....

48
linereddit 48 points ago +48 / -0

Trump curse is so real.

Sometimes it slowly eats at you from the inside, until you're a wasted wreck that has to be propped up and worked like a marionette....

And sometimes it strikes like lightning!

34
Libertas_Vel_Mors 34 points ago +35 / -1

Every rib hurts... I can barely type... OMG this is fucking GOLD!

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deleted 20 points ago +21 / -1
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Warren_Puffitt 9 points ago +9 / -0

Legit read that in Dice Man voice.

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
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DoesItWorkAlready 4 points ago +4 / -0

I came here for keks, and got rhyming.

The keks they rhyme

76
IncredibleMrE1 76 points ago +77 / -1

Look, fat.

68
WhitePowerRanger 68 points ago +70 / -2

C’mon man. Here’s the deal. Seven tacos for sure and little bit too sweet for the kids. Boink boink bibbity bloo flippy floppy nips. Listen. You don’t just take a bird, and make a sandwich out of it. Who’s counting?

-Biden 1920

33
Averon 33 points ago +34 / -1

Here's the deal. Back in 1842 we had these mats we would lay on for nap time. And corn pop, he was a bad dude... Not as bad as when he was older, but bad... I had always wanted a peach crayon and so we crawled over to the crayon boxes and took out a crayon and it was peach. I was finally able to color the kids that I drew. But see, Here's the deal. I took the crayon home and my brother broke it.. Do I even have a brother? Anyway... I couldn't use peach to color kids anymore... So that's when I learned about roaches... Now the mats... They could be folded... We would hit them on the rain bucket and they would get rusty... We would do it to the mats that belonged to the dog faced pony soldiers. And that's why I love kids jumping on my lap.

  • Probably Joe Biden if he has to debate Trump or maybe not since this was way more coherent than what he would actually say.
6
BeijingBiden 6 points ago +6 / -0

Bruh “Biden 1920” idk why I’m crying rn but this thread is honestly so fucking funny

39
TrollToll 39 points ago +39 / -0

Lmao Goddammit this is the funniest website in the world

10
BadManOrange 10 points ago +10 / -0

C'mon man, everybody knows that two birds are in the bushes. My hands are going to rub hairs on those little birds just like the kids use to do to my legs. Look, my dad used to say, Joe sometimes you feel around and find a bush, other times, ya don't. I took those words to heart because when it comes to the thing... you know.. you gotta... the fact is... we just need to make sure that... it makes no sense.

1
ORD_to_SFO 1 point ago +1 / -0

It's after a biden statement like that someday, that his handlers will just stop for a moment, look into the cameras, and just say: "alright, you got us..."

2
SteelDriver 2 points ago +2 / -0

You lying, dog faced pony soldier!

30
Tranny_Fluid 30 points ago +30 / -0

A hand in the bird is worth more than her bush

15
SoldierofKek 15 points ago +15 / -0

ROFL....This has gotta be the best one yet.....because it's true

15
DoYouBelieveInMAGA 15 points ago +16 / -1

Give a man a bird, he has a bird for a day. Give a man two birds and he has two birds.

15
HockeyMom4Trump 15 points ago +16 / -1

She has two birds in her bush

29
Flipbarryfromreddit 29 points ago +30 / -1

Jesus Christ did you see the hate in that woman???? Jesus Christ!

16
Damadhatter 16 points ago +16 / -0

Did you just assume their gender????

16
Flipbarryfromreddit 16 points ago +16 / -0

Yeah I did 😂 these ppl have pure evil filled within them it’s creepy asf

1
TuckerCarlsonsTie 1 point ago +1 / -0

Did you just assume Jesus Christ is non-binary and not two spirited!!????

14
Flipbarryfromreddit 14 points ago +14 / -0

Pure rage. You can tell she truly hates herself

4
MedPede 4 points ago +4 / -0

She should be cited for reckless driving and not wearing a seat belt. She should probably go home and rethink her life.

3
ORD_to_SFO 3 points ago +3 / -0

I have a feeling she was cited for that. Those cops must have witnessed the whole thing...they were so close that they just sauntered over after it happened.

3
Quietam_Unum 3 points ago +3 / -0

A bush in the hand is worth two birds?

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0