For anyone who may be interested, this critter is a Golden Pheasant. It is a real bird and it really does look like that (the menfolk of their species who are voting republican, anyway. the women are dull, boring, and should have stayed in the nest instead of forging careers).

Including tail feathers, it is between 36" and 41" long and is capable of short flights if frightened or attacked. It mostly lives on the ground among the poorer forest animals. This is why it understands their dreams and needs better than the blue democrat pheasant which lives in a cave in Delaware and is usually a confused asshole.

The fucked up part? It's native to remote regions of China. But, it has established feral populations most everywhere except Antarctica because it is not afraid of hard work. It is widely found in South America except Venezuela, where the commies are, as it would have been eaten. It is not a stupid creature. It left China to escape commies and damn well isn't going to suffer them in its new home either.