Not a practicing Christian, but love your adaptation and also this story:

Years ago the Kentucky Colonel traveled to Rome. He finally was able to get an audience with the Pope after weeks of waiting. Pope: What is it that brings you here, my son? Colonel: You may not realize this but we have had a terrible year selling our fried chicken, and thought that you may be able to help. Pope: What possibly can I do for you? Colonel: Well, your Holiness, you know that part in the Lord's Prayer where it says "Give us this day our daily bread"? Pope: Of course my son, I know it all by heart. Colonel: Well, our advertising group thinks that if you changed that to "give us this day our daily chicken" it would help our sales so we don't have to lay anybody off, and we would be pleased to donate one million dollars for the good works of the Church. Pope: My son, my son, that's impossible. That is holy wording. Colonel: Well, your Holiness, how about two million? Pope. Out of the question! Colonel: Well, I've traveled all this way and waited so long ... how about five million? Pope; Sold! See the Vatican accountants. Next day, the Pope is addressing the College of Cardinals: My children, I have some good news and some bad news. We just made five million dollars for our good works in the world.

Unfortunately, we just lost the Wonder Bread account.

Be of good cheer, my fellow Melania fans!!!