He had just finished feeding the cats and for some reason decided that he needed to "go home" to wash their bowls. An hour or so later the sheriff contacted us and said he had been found at the auto parts store asking for directions back to New York (we've been living in SWVA for almost six years now). When my mom and I got down there to recover him (and the car) there were four cops with him (three local, one county) and not a single one of them was wearing a mask. I bring this anecdote up not for sympathy, but because it didn't even occur to us to berate them for it. Even though he's about as high risk as you can get, we just thanked them profusely for taking time out of their day to watch over him when he was in such a vulnerable state. The day could have ended so much worse for us, and we are truly grateful for those guardian angels in blue.
Then we get home and see the left is having an apoplectic fit about Trump paying a visit to his supporters to lift their spirits (when he's the sick one) and thank them for their vigil. I was absolutely floored to see all the disgusting comments on social media. What kind of people react to gestures of kindness with this sort of irrational vitriol? I'm not an undecided voter, but this disparity in attitude really condensed the election into a single moment of clarity for me. This isn't simply a matter of policy differences, it's a vote between people who choose to live in fear and indulge their most vulgar instincts, and those who choose to love their neighbors and even in the darkest moments of crisis have faith that everything will work out in the end. It's a vote between those who talk the righteous talk for their own self-glorification, and the legion of unsung heroes who walk the righteous walk for the glory of God.
Will you choose to cower in the shadow of death, or will you gather with me at the river?
"Even though I'm in the storm, the storm is not in me."
He had just finished feeding the cats and for some reason decided that he needed to "go home" to wash their bowls. An hour or so later the sheriff contacted us and said he had been found at the auto parts store asking for directions back to New York (we've been living in SWVA for almost six years now). When my mom and I got down there to recover him (and the car) there were four cops with him (three local, one county) and not a single one of them was wearing a mask. I bring this anecdote up not for sympathy, but because it didn't even occur to us to berate them for it. Even though he's about as high risk as you can get, we just thanked them profusely for taking time out of their day to watch over him when he was in such a vulnerable state. The day could have ended so much worse for us, and we are truly grateful for those guardian angels in blue.
Then we get home and see the left is having an apoplectic fit about Trump paying a visit to his supporters to lift *their* spirits (when he's the sick one) and thank them for their vigil. I was absolutely floored to see all the disgusting comments on social media. What kind of people react to gestures of kindness with this sort of irrational vitriol? I'm not an undecided voter, but this disparity in attitude really condensed the election into a single moment of clarity for me. This isn't simply a matter of policy differences, it's a vote between people who choose to live in fear and indulge their most vulgar instincts, and those who choose to love their neighbors and even in the darkest moments of crisis have faith that everything will work out in the end. It's a vote between those who talk the righteous talk for their own self-glorification, and the legion of unsung heroes who walk the righteous walk for the glory of God.
Will you choose to cower in the shadow of death, or will you gather with me at the river?
["Even though I'm in the storm, the storm is not in me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMmmbJlWhtk)
My dad had dementia. It's been 13 years since he's passed. He wandered around a lot, too. Your post brings back memories of how much worry we had when he would wander off. I don't wish that on any one. Will say a prayer for your family especially your dad.
Thanks for all the prayers and fellowship. We lost his mother to Alzheimer's a while back, so it's not our first rodeo. It's especially difficult for him when he's lucid enough to remember and be aware of how much of his past is slipping away. Sometimes the forgetfulness is almost a blessing. COVID may be a dangerous disease, but at least it's quick. As frightening as it may be, it's even more horrifying to slowly lose everything you were while your body trudges on, and to know that there's nothing you can do to stop it. He was always a rugged individualist so we've been trying to let him have as much responsibility as we can so that he still feels useful, but we're obviously going to have start hiding the keys. We're just glad he only made it downtown instead of halfway across the country, and that he got there without forgetting basic traffic laws (although he did forget his pants.) It's just a long, tough haul for everyone, but it's a cross we'd rather bear than shuffling him off to a nursing home to die with nothing familiar around him at all. It's not something I feel deserves praise, it's simply a duty that there was never a question of fulfilling. There's nothing more important than taking care of your kinfolk.
My dad was healthy, too, except for the dementia. We couldn't take care of him because he was too headstrong and physically strong to control. He would lose his temper and would throw stuff around. Our street was a busy one where cars often speed. So we eventually had to send him to a nursing home with an assigned caregiver. His former caregiver was good and knew how to be proactive and prevented him from wandering off. Unfortunately, there was a change in personnel and the new one wasn't as good. My dad wandered so far off and caught pneumonia, which became severe and I think caused a heart attack. So be careful with the ancillary issues that come from the wandering off.
Anyway, sending you a big hug along with the prayers and good wishes. It's heavy on the heart as well, I know.
Grandma had those fits of rage too. She had always been a loving woman, so it was shocking how nasty she could be towards us sometimes. Fortunately dad isn't suffering from the same problems (the brain is a funny thing, and you never know how a progressive deterioration is going to manifest) and as strong as he was all his life, he's weak as a baby now. Our concern is more that he's going to flop over on his face and not be able to get up because he's too stubborn to use his walker, which has happened a few times already. The problem with living so remotely is that he could wander into the woods and nobody might find him for days, and as the rest of his health declines the 911 response time becomes more critical. There might come a day when we simply can't provide the level of care he needs even with 'round-the-clock monitoring, and I'm not trying to disparage folks who had to make the difficult decision of a nursing home (although for some it's sadly a matter of selfish convenience.) I don't want to give up on him just because the going got tough, but at the same time I have to be wary that someday pride doesn't get in the way of admitting that he needs more help than we can give him. Life doesn't always present us with easy, clear-cut moral choices. I guess that's why they say it's a bitch. All we can do is take it one day at a time and keep on keepin' on.
You have to do what is best for him and try to work out the guilt, although we still feel that long after my dad passed away. In the end, what you have to grapple with is if you did everything you could because that could haunt you for a long time. Maybe just make sure you sift every decision you make through love. Anger, frustration, exhaustion, helplessness dirty up the decision-making process. Breathe, pray, seek counsel and pray some more. Hardship and suffering offer us opportunities to love better and deeper.
Glad your dad is okay.
There are some people who are miserable or need to feel important and somehow think that making the rest of the population miserable will accomplish that. I call that evil. And that's what seems to have inflicted the left.
“Indulge their vulgar instincts”....spot on, OP...you are a good soul too, for taking care of your Dad...dementia is a tough thing to handle
Prayers for your family. My dad has dementia as well.
You’re a good man OP. Your dad is lucky to have you
It scares me to death how we forget things