Haha I dont blame ya. I'm not a fan of how the meds feel, but I'd be fucked without them. I was diagnosed pretty late and the difference between now and then is unbelievable. Its not great for you as far as side effects go, but the benefits I've experienced are literally worth the potential issues down the line.

I mean a difference of "destined for failure" and "productive member of society" as far as myself personally.

That said, I dont recommend it to others. It was a last resort for me and works, but there's a cost that I wouldn't encourage others take.