3610
NPCs gunna NPC [COVID billboard spotted in Silicone Valley] (media.patriots.win) 😷 LOCKDOWN BS 😷
posted ago by MAGAmole ago by MAGAmole +3611 / -1
Comments (396)
sorted by:
223
sustainable_saltmine 223 points ago +227 / -4

getTested() has been deprecated and as a JS developer, who the fuck still uses "var" anymore? its "let" or if it's a constant, "const"

139
deleted 139 points ago +139 / -0
65
westrock2000 65 points ago +65 / -0

I feel this nightmare pertains to those who speak any computer language.

39
deleted 39 points ago +40 / -1
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bubadmt 32 points ago +32 / -0

Hello sir, this is Michael Johnson from the Microsoft Refund Department, what is your name so I may pull up your file?

21
deleted 21 points ago +21 / -0
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bubadmt 24 points ago +24 / -0

Okay sir I understand you have a virus. We have detected 23 hackers on your computer and we need you to connect to AnyDesk to allow us to remove them.

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deleted 24 points ago +24 / -0
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deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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HyperFamicom 2 points ago +2 / -0

Same

14
TD_Covfefe_Crusader 14 points ago +14 / -0

Please do the needful.

16
bubadmt 16 points ago +16 / -0

WHY DID YOU REDEEM THE CODE YOU FUCKING MOTHER BITCH.. I AM GO TO LOSING MY JOB! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? STOP TOUCHING THE MOUSE SIR DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!! You fuck benchode chutiya mother fuck stupid teri maki chut.. end call

6
Dashmoomoo 6 points ago +6 / -0

Mother... shitter... son of an... ass. Just...

-Samir

5
just-a-pleb 5 points ago +5 / -0

Hello my name is Peter Johnson and I'm calling from microsoft, you have virus on computer so you must send me amazon gift card.

2
permissible_missile 2 points ago +2 / -0

lol

1
PensivePatriot 1 point ago +1 / -0

Please for the love of god tell me this is real

2
linereddit 2 points ago +2 / -0

I feel like

RecallGavin(2020);

Belongs in that loop somewhere.

QC must be slipping.

10
wrongkindofimmigrant 10 points ago +10 / -0

The name is Bobs Vagene.

4
Linespaced 4 points ago +4 / -0

Is Shrini not available?

3
anon1011101 3 points ago +3 / -0

Now ma'am can you please show bobs?

2
Mr_Dr_Jullian_Dunbar 2 points ago +2 / -0

The spill over from 4 chan... Lol

4
Sirbigusdickus 4 points ago +4 / -0

This is Fartoush form the MS anti-hacking team. You have been informed that your PC and it’s motherboard have been infected with a RAM wirus and your prompt attention is required in the form of a $99 visa or MasterCard payment sir.

12
sustainable_saltmine 12 points ago +12 / -0

like people who prefer XML to JSON. well, depends on the application but I'd only use XML if I intend to transform it to HTML, regular structured data I prefer JSON. easier to parse and work with

4
Libhater 4 points ago +4 / -0

If u don't soap u ain't shit

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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
1
Dashmoomoo 1 point ago +1 / -0

Excellent.

4
bouki 4 points ago +4 / -0

1999 called they want their soap and xml back...

1
mcoulton 1 point ago +1 / -0

i prefer to return a file containing fixed width data.

1
WinstonSmith1984 1 point ago +1 / -0

kek

1
mcoulton 1 point ago +1 / -0

markup language is still a language

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
mcoulton 1 point ago +1 / -0

You are probably a js programmer and proud of how your code is "object oriented"

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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RexCollumSilvarum 18 points ago +18 / -0

This is why I came to love learning human languages. You can go to some exotic country and say the equivalent of "Food very good is. Very much thank to you" with a terrible accent, and the locals will smile and appreciate that you're trying.

With computer languages, you miss one semicolon and it's SYNTAX ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE and you just want to throw your hands in the air.

9
deleted 9 points ago +10 / -1
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permissible_missile 1 point ago +1 / -0

Brooo we got this guy running SV https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ltORkYAdVk

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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booblitchutz 2 points ago +2 / -0

The simple solution to semicolon hell is to test early and often. Thataway if you have an error you pretty much know it’s in something you just wrote.

5
Sirbigusdickus 5 points ago +5 / -0

FORTRAN is making a big comeback.

5
PensivePatriot 5 points ago +5 / -0

4chan rumbles lowly in the distance

No, not you.

Ok well also you, but keep it down.

3
DrVSGGEOTUSPhD 3 points ago +3 / -0

COBOL RULES OK

1
linereddit 1 point ago +1 / -0

Sure, until the Y10k bug kills us all...

22
mintscape 22 points ago +22 / -0

He's a JS dev, semicolons tend to be optional for them :)

What I find funny is he even used the correct camelCase when the advert didn't.

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deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
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sustainable_saltmine 5 points ago +5 / -0

oh I always use semicolons. gotta watch out for ASI

2
mcoulton 2 points ago +2 / -0

a=1,b=2a,c=3b; 3 assignments for the price of 1

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iactuallylovetrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

great eye!

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noPTSDforMePlease 8 points ago +8 / -0

If you do any modern javascript development, you would know that most editors no longer require semi colons. Webpack and babel are just fine without them.

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deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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mcoulton 1 point ago +1 / -0

what about replacing semicolons with commas and putting the whole thing in curly braces

2
BigDaddyT 2 points ago +2 / -0

Shudders in PostScript

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
32
ernsithe 32 points ago +39 / -7

The same sort of degenerate who puts the open brace on the same line as the condition.

32
mr_meatball_disaster 32 points ago +36 / -4

That’s the only thing they did right.

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deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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sustainable_saltmine 9 points ago +9 / -0

yeah I used to open brace on a new line but got used to doing it the "Kernigan and Ritchie way" since it's how we do it at work. I like to line up my braces so I can see easier where the block ends

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elmerecido 9 points ago +9 / -0

I have been using Python so much lately that I forgot about this shit, and I don't miss it AT ALL. You still have the same "oops I scoped this line in the wrong block" but it's all good. Having to care about indenting is something you already have to do, so once you're used to it it's really better. The only thing that is annoying is multi-line statements and how indenting can be misinterpreted.

Now whenever I have to touch C or C#, I forget semicolons and have to remove the layer of dust on the semicolon key. Then I remember that they are pretty much superfluous in the first place.

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jetjetjet 5 points ago +5 / -0
result = [foo(i) for i in arr if i]

Python master race

If you do that in C it's more like

for(i=0; i<len(arr); i++) {
   if(arr[i]) {
      result[i] = foo(arr[i]);
   }
}
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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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jetjetjet 1 point ago +1 / -0
from collections import Counter
list1 = "car car car truck plane".split()
print(Counter(list1))

# Outputs: Counter({'car':3, 'truck':1, 'plane':1})

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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WinstonSmith1984 1 point ago +1 / -0

tbf, the longer syntax is rather more clear if one is trying to teach

2
StandardOilCompany 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hey now!

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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TripleBlack 1 point ago +1 / -0

2 spaces is hard to read. 4 is too much. 3 is best.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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iiii 25 points ago +25 / -0

Government-quality code.

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LUXURY_USERNAME 12 points ago +12 / -0

government caught using var, a sure sign of globalism

4
slashp 4 points ago +4 / -0

Polluting the global namespace

3
Libhater 3 points ago +3 / -0

I interviewed for a few gov jobs.

I expect them all to use var

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BillionsAndBillions 2 points ago +2 / -0

I hate it when .NET developers write JavaScript.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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DrVSGGEOTUSPhD 1 point ago +1 / -0

Could this be a GladOS meme attempt

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radioactivedk 24 points ago +24 / -0

C# programmers have all left the chat.

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Libhater 8 points ago +10 / -2

Lol node is garbage.

Every time I do node and typescript I keep thinking wtf why is this not c#.

Still better at node (I'm cto and all our shit is react and node) but ever since we've gotten deeper into microsoft for our business apps I'm pushing the guys to use .net. so fast and easy.

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radioactivedk 3 points ago +3 / -0

I'm in the same boat lately, just substitute Node for Electron for extra thickness :)

IIRC, Node is what sparked MS to head down the dotnet core route so that's a good thing.

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Libhater 2 points ago +2 / -0

Totally agree. Our main shit is gatsby. Payment platform is node and stripe. Several business apps react and node

But damn I love me some azure functions

And when connecting some of our other crap to dynamics crm and erp c# is path of least resistance.

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radioactivedk 2 points ago +2 / -0

MS azure SDKs for .net seem to be more polished than the node equivalents too.

I wish we were using react in Electron. Stuck with Angular because we hate ram lol.

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Libhater 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's hard to respond to you because on mobile the up and down arrows are in my way. But I cheated so fuck it. But yeah obviously the .net sdks are gonna be better. In fact I'm annoyed there are no good react msal library (that's up to date not that bullshit that uses implicit method) because I have to use auth0 for my 3rd party distributors to hook into the pricing tool I built. Otherwise I'd jdut make them guests in our azure ad

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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Libhater 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lol authorize.net hasnt been updated in like 3 years since they got bought by visa. Stripe is a dream to develop with. They invented having dope docs. airtable took it to a new level

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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tonesolaris 20 points ago +20 / -0

We still use var because we have an outdated tech stack.

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sustainable_saltmine 9 points ago +9 / -0

well if you still have to support IE8

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tonesolaris 3 points ago +3 / -0

We do, and it's not like we're going to be implementing something like Babel anytime soon. I'm embarrassed to say we're still using WordPress and Mustache templates. I'm relatively new to the company, it's like taking a time machine to 2010.

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permissible_missile 2 points ago +2 / -0

Do you even Babel bro

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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mintscape 7 points ago +8 / -1

Plus it is useful if you are using the variable when let would go out of scope. Although I'm not done that much JS, I'm mostly an embedded C dev where our language has barely changed in years.

JS is crazy how fast it all moves, outdated for you guys seems like 6 months.

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tonesolaris 2 points ago +2 / -0

The tech stack I am working with is truly outdated - but yeah, it's true what you say about the current state of js (also about var's scope while I'm at it). I kind of hate all these countless npm libraries, and all these new competing frameworks. It's getting a bit ridiculous, and for me it kind of takes the fun out of programming. I'd rather build a framework than learn how to use one (and be confined to it's obscure and ever-changing rules).

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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permissible_missile 2 points ago +4 / -2

var is cancer, let is never not the better choice. Hoisting was a mistake.

106
Lol_Garrus 106 points ago +106 / -0

The left can't code!

😂🤣

19
MerchantMan99 19 points ago +19 / -0

Underrated comment.

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deleted 14 points ago +14 / -0
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Mashiki 2 points ago +2 / -0

Seeing CoC and the replies in some groups are my favorite. The best has been "Have you ever contributed anything outside of documentation, that you had to get from someone else?"

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0x00 2 points ago +2 / -0

this is basically what happened to Coraline Ada Ehmke (don't look "her" up if you like your eyes) with the Ruby language but matz is a based man and slapped it down lol

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Mashiki 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah I heard about that. Sad to say that FreeBSD is completely screwed up at this point by the CoC shit stains.

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0x00 1 point ago +1 / -0

ah yeah, that and linux got hit with it as well. i've been running OpenBSD for a while so i avoided that whole mess but i'd like to see these projects start fighting back rather than caving to them since they're not going to stop anyway...

1
Mashiki 1 point ago +1 / -0

Sadly when they're that entrenched the only thing to do is put a fork in it, and be done. SJW's infecting something isn't much different then cancer. It destroys the host, corrupts what it was, and at the end kills the patient.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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RedSocks157 8 points ago +8 / -0

They should probably #learntocode then!

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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
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Libhater 6 points ago +6 / -0

Correct semantics is racist

Typescript is white supremacy

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jetjetjet 6 points ago +6 / -0

No joke, the billboard is borderline incoherent trash-coding.

This is closer to being coherent, even though it mangles three languages together:

var stillAlive = true;
var pandemicOver = true;
var you = getPerson("no, u");

while(stillAlive and not pandemicOver) {
   you.wear(new Mask());
   you.stayApart(from="hipsters", distance=40, unit="furlongs");
   you.washHands(); //eh, why not
   you.getTested(for="herpes"); // there's hippies nearby
}
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deleted 94 points ago +94 / -0
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STEVE_HUFFMANS_BULL 40 points ago +41 / -1

That, and the implication of global variables which are affected by those functions

shivers

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deleted 20 points ago +20 / -0
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Libhater 12 points ago +12 / -0

Libs love global scope

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analog_shitposter 6 points ago +6 / -0

So globalist that there are no local variables

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LUXURY_USERNAME 4 points ago +4 / -0

damn globalists!

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remember1776 12 points ago +12 / -0

I'm using camelCase forever

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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awwwman 5 points ago +5 / -0

They couldn't even camel case properly!

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dingdongbob 3 points ago +3 / -0

bestCase = camelCase

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ThisTrainHasNoBrakes 12 points ago +12 / -0

My biggest issue: hard-coding the 6 ft apart instead of passing it as a parameter.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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awwwman 8 points ago +8 / -0

Snakes and camels dont mix!

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jigglyp33n 5 points ago +5 / -0

PEP 8 FU lol

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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sustainable_saltmine 4 points ago +4 / -0

PascalCase

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kalokagathia 82 points ago +82 / -0

while (true) { OBEY(); }

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deleted 28 points ago +28 / -0
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DonJr2032 3 points ago +3 / -0

The sign seems to indicate that there is no out. These are steps you must follow forever from now on

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Mashiki 3 points ago +3 / -0

Buffer overflows always ensure there's a way to escape.

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DonJr2032 2 points ago +2 / -0

WearMask()
{
if (mask == DirtyAndFilthy){WearAnyWay()}
}

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bubadmt 5 points ago +5 / -0

Show (bias) = false

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antimatter 73 points ago +73 / -0

So in otherwords, there is no other escape from that while loop until you die. From one MAGA coder to you pussies.. Go fuck yourselves

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UpTrump 11 points ago +11 / -0

I'm in the bay area and surrounded by crazies. The Trump yesterday was great in part because it felt normal. No distancing, no masks, no bullshit!

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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ivan_iii_of_russia 6 points ago +7 / -1

Yup. It's 2050, there are 0 Covid cases, and yet you still have to wear a mask 24/7.

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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
2
bloodyminded 2 points ago +2 / -0

This, but unironically (and unfortunately).

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 47 points ago +48 / -1
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remember1776 36 points ago +36 / -0

Take note they named the variable 'still_alive' rather than 'virus_propaganda_still_in_effect', because that would eventually have a break loop.

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deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
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JustHereForTheSalmon 4 points ago +4 / -0

It's our job to, in some cases literally, break the programming.

2
remember1776 2 points ago +2 / -0

In Clown Society, abnormal is the normal

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deleted 12 points ago +12 / -0
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RexCollumSilvarum 7 points ago +7 / -0

If the loop ever ended there would be a vote_democrat function called.

Actually they would probably call that function all the time. But especially after still_alive is finished.

7
awwwman 7 points ago +7 / -0

LOL! Gotta have a base case bruh!

5
covert_genitalia 5 points ago +5 / -0

still_alive isn't a global variable, and is therefore out of scope for the helper functions. It cannot be mutated. Poor form.

THEY'RE NOT SENDING THEIR BEST

... or it could imply that all of this is useless because of the 99.99% survival rate 🤔

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tonesolaris 47 points ago +47 / -0

It's all right there. The conditions for this are being alive. That's where the goal post is now. It started with 2 weeks to flatten the curve. Then it was a year to find a cure. Now it's a life sentence.

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deleted 35 points ago +35 / -0
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RadMaxBTD 31 points ago +31 / -0

Learn to Obey

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Wyopepe 22 points ago +22 / -0

That’s a nice infinite loop you’ve got there, unless you die during one of the function calls.

Shit code, shit billboard.

3
havax 3 points ago +3 / -0

Well, as we all know, you CAN die while wearing a mask. :shrug:

1
Wyopepe 1 point ago +1 / -0

Generally doesn’t happen unless you’re Carradine-ing while Toobin.

2
TripleBlack 2 points ago +2 / -0

Should really use an 'until dead()' and 'checkPulse()'

With a voteDemocrat() outside the until loop.

1
hilboggins 1 point ago +1 / -0

Not infinite, it resolves when you die. Meaning, live this way till death.

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MAGA_mantis 19 points ago +19 / -0

Getfvucked()

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MrMcGreenGenes 17 points ago +17 / -0

.#LearnToGoFuckYourself

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deleted 16 points ago +16 / -0
15
LtPatterson 15 points ago +15 / -0

Get tested? Why, so they can say I have it when I don't?

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
Pederrr 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yes. Exactly this

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jebisatotalmess 13 points ago +13 / -0

ya imma head break out

11
Whoopies_tds 11 points ago +11 / -0

In Silicone Valley is it still ok to only have two digits 1 and 0 to represent a binary number or has that been replaced also because it’s racist?

2
RedSocks157 2 points ago +2 / -0

Those numbers need to decide their value! Reeeeeee!

1
Libhater 1 point ago +1 / -0

Github switched to main vs master last week.

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
2
Libhater 2 points ago +2 / -0

I highly disagree.wsl is the tits

1
0x00 1 point ago +1 / -0

it's handy but unless you rely on software that doesn't have an alternative or isn't cross platform, using a linux distro (or if you like more unix-y stuff, a BSD system) is much more convenient especially if you're a programmer.

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deleted 11 points ago +12 / -1
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ignorant_slob 10 points ago +10 / -0

I’m pretty sure you meant to say Silly Con Valley

9
HiddenDekuScrub 9 points ago +9 / -0

That billboard is the most disgusting thing I've seen all day.

Why is it the lefties try so hard to be the "cool kids"?

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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
2
Libhater 2 points ago +2 / -0

Leftists are always the nerd fags

Then when the cool kids learned tech they claimed racist

8
Ninki333 8 points ago +8 / -0

Someone rent the next billboard for a 404 screen.

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jubyeonin 8 points ago +8 / -0

while (still_retarded)

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deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
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jubyeonin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Upvoted for the amount of autism put into this post alone.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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radioactivedk 7 points ago +7 / -0

They're really honest at least. Loop only ends with death. You can also tell it's a leftist because they chose a language with no significant whitespace.

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wwg1wga_canuck 6 points ago +6 / -0

lol @ poverty high-level language

C and assembly masterrace checking in

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deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
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jealousminarchist 3 points ago +3 / -0

C++ is to C like cancer is to lung.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
0
0x00 0 points ago +1 / -1

C and ruby master race also checking in! lol

6
45best45 6 points ago +6 / -0

I hate when people write pseudo code like this trying to look smart, especially when they obsess over minor syntax to show off - despite the rest of the code being functionally useless.

6
Ralphless 6 points ago +6 / -0

Infinite busy-loop. Alt-F4 that noise.

4
sustainable_saltmine 4 points ago +4 / -0

put a break; in it lol

6
ParticleCannon 6 points ago +6 / -0

All those methods return null

5
Sodium_miner 5 points ago +5 / -0

I’d be more concerned in getting an STD from a random AIDS needle laying around. Get tested for sure though. Could’ve been a good PSA.

5
GayBoys4Trump 5 points ago +5 / -0

No camelcase wtf? What diversity hire wrote this?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
5
awwwman 5 points ago +5 / -0

🐍 and 🐪 case?!!

5
ItWillPass 5 points ago +5 / -0

Went on a road trip this past week. There were those light-up signs that usually warn of upcoming construction or delays which instead advised us to "practice social distancing both on the road and alone" or some crap. Listening to the radio there was one station which, rather than having useful information transmitted onto the car's radio display (which normally displays the station, the song title and artist), was transmitting advice including but not limited to "COVID-19 IS REAL". Another road-side sign told all of the drivers to stay at home as they were already on the road and headed on a road nobody would be on had they not already chosen to go there--like they think people are just going to turn around in the middle of their journey because of a road-side sign shaming them for doing normal, healthy human things. There were other similar things we saw. Basically they continue to think they must remind us of covid every 5 minutes lest we drift into any feeling resembling peace of mind or normalcy. Like when was the last time a single one of us was permitted to forget for a single day about covid?

Annoying af. I socialized more in this past week than I had for the seven months previous combined and I'll be doing it again for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's and the weekends in between.

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lifeisahologram 5 points ago +5 / -0

Even this billboard admits the virus concern is fake and knows it’s death count is nothing because they simply hardcoded that you will always be alive 😂

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
4
driveshack 4 points ago +4 / -0

this is projection from dumb (but educated) people

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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NotInFormation 2 points ago +2 / -0

I’m voting MAGA and I’m still alive!

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
4
now_look_here 4 points ago +4 / -0

Hahaha, that loop runs forever since still_alive can never become false. The irony is off the charts.

4
11numbereleven11 4 points ago +4 / -0

They left off bendOver()

4
NahNovaBrah 4 points ago +4 / -0

Hopefully the vulnerable "learned how to code" with the coal miners ... Nothing like a P.S.A. that is more pandering than informational.

4
deleted 4 points ago +6 / -2
4
Anon2727 4 points ago +4 / -0

Of course the libs use global variables, very horrible software design right off the bat.

3
mushmouf 3 points ago +3 / -0

Java wanna be C

1
deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
3
remember1776 3 points ago +3 / -0

Plastic Programmers

3
EllipticCurveBall 3 points ago +3 / -0

Infinite loop. External functions can’t mutate a local variable that isn't passed as a param

1
TheMadManDidItAgain 1 point ago +1 / -0

If it was C or C++, I would argue it would be possible by exploiting bad practices and writing directly beyond the allocated memory for an array of pointers that is next to the address of still_alive, then overrunning that array. But, var isn't part of C++, so, there goes that idea....

3
M8kMdlErthGr8Again 3 points ago +3 / -0

There is no way out of that loop except to die or a glitch in the matrix.

3
DanIsSwell 3 points ago +3 / -0

What a terrible waste of billboard. Buy huge billboard, use tiny, crowded font, only in center of billboard. Shows their amount of brain cells.

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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deleted 3 points ago +4 / -1
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0x00 2 points ago +2 / -0

well... rip me lol

2
SliceOfKek 2 points ago +2 / -0

There’s only one way to break free.

const breakFree = (successRate, retardedViews, person) => { const redpill = Math.floor(Math.Random * successRate) return retardedViews >= redpill ? breakFree(successRate+100, retardedViews, person) : {...person, person.vote: “Trump”} }

2
glorious_phagg0t 2 points ago +2 / -0

Soydevs.