Its not an easy to digest message, but you are absolutely and positively correct.

Most women didnt want to risk a lifetime raising a child with a deadbeat man. So women had to be extremely thoughtful, and they would usually do their best to choose very hardworking smart men. They would get their families and communities involved to help find a perfect suitor. It wasnt a perfect/never-fail system, but in most cases it worked out for the better. Families stayed together longer, families were happier, etc.

But with contraceptives and the increased availability of sex, sex has been devalued. Men had always wanted to fuck everything, and before attitudes toward sex changed, they had to put in honest work in improving and building themselves and their character in order to convince women.

But now sex can be used as a petty everyday tool with contraceptives, etc, so women more casually choose men based on superficial traits like you said, and once they begin coupling/pairing regularly with men of poor character, they begin to tell themselves they are in love. Its one reason why actors who play an onscreen couple often begin dating. Kristi Alley talked about this in a recent podcast and it was very interesting.

If you “simulate” being a couple long enough by actually kissing, and actually saying things about love to one another, then you eventually think you “feel it for real” just the same if you regularly have sex with someone. And before you know it you have deluded yourself and have made an awful choice.

Edit:updated phrasing for clarification

Its not an easy to digest message, but you are absolutely and positively correct.

Most women didnt want to risk a lifetime raising a child with a deadbeat man. So women had to be extremely thoughtful, and they would usually do their best to choose very hardworking smart men. They would get their families and communities involved to help find a perfect suitor. It wasnt a perfect/never-fail system, but in most cases it worked out for the better. Families stayed together longer, families were happier, etc.

But with contraceptives and the increased availability of sex, sex has been devalued. Men had always wanted to fuck everything, and before attitudes toward sex changed, they had to put in honest work in improving and building themselves and their character in order to convince women.

But now sex can be used as a petty everyday tool with contraceptives, etc, so women more casually choose men based on superficial traits like you said, and once they begin coupling/pairing regularly with men of poor character, they begin to tell themselves they are in love. Its one reason why actors who play an onscreen couple often begin dating. Kristi Alley talked about this in a recent podcast and it was very interesting.

If you “simulate” being a couple long enough by actually kissing, and actually saying things about love to one another, thats where it will lead, just the same if you regularly have sex with someone. And before you know it you have deluded yourself and have made an awful choice.