Best advice I've gotten over the years:

• It's better to fart in a toilet than shit in your pants.
• Some women are recreational; some women are procreational. Don't confuse the two.
• Never skimp on anything that comes between you and the ground.

The last adage applies here. Treat yourself to quality footwear and a quality mattress, and your health and happiness will improve significantly.

Best advice I've gotten over the years:

• It's better to fart in a toilet than shit in your pants.
• Some women are recreational; some women are procreational. Don't confuse the two.*
• Never skimp on anything that comes between you and the ground.

The last adage applies here. Treat yourself to quality footwear and a quality mattress, and your health and happiness will improve significantly.

*If you find one that's a blast in the sack and would make an excellent mother, you've found yourself a wife.