Hey Frens!

I'm new to comedy writing, but I've been practicing my joke writing. Can I practice on you?

Hope you enjoy (Did I mention, I was new to all this?)

Feel free to let me know any thoughts or suggestions you might have.

Thanks!

In his inauguration speech, Biden said he wanted to “unify” with Trump supporters. Later in his speech he called Trump supporters “white supremacists”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t wanting to unify with White supremacists make Joe Biden the racist?

Did you know that there are some on the Left who claim cartoon frogs are secret symbols of White Supremacy? This is bad news for Kermit, he’s been put on the no fly list. That’s right, Kermit's no longer allowed to eat his favorite food, flies.

Speaking of flies, we owe you all an apology, you tried to warn us about Mike Pence but we didn’t listen.

Stephen Colbert did an entire segment insulting Melania Trump. So that’s the new standard? being related to a politician you dislike makes you target for ridicule? OK, with that in mind, let me say Joe Biden’s dog “Major” is a lazy and a bad boy!

Since Ben Carson is no longer working for the Trump Administration, can he go back to being a world famous, genius, brain surgeon, philanthropist and Black? Or does he have to remain a white supremacist, nazi forever?

Idiot Trump’s Covid vaccination plan was only giving out 1 million vaccinations a day. Brainy Biden unveiled his plan to vaccinate 100 million Americans!!! (mumbled, in a low voice over the next 100 days).

Say what you want about Joe Biden, no one can take away his accomplishment of being America’s first President with dementia. Um, Sorry libs, we did that back in 1988.

7. (version 2)

Say what you want about Joe Biden, no one can take away his accomplishment of America’s first President with an IQ under 80. Um, Sorry libs, may I remind you of this quote “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.” -George W. Bush

Trump got impeached for making a phone call, and once Biden’s Jitterbug™ arrives, the Republicans are going to do the same thing to him.

As leader of the Senate Minority caucus, Mitch McConnell says he wants to focus on the following priorities in 2021

• Make putting a turtle on a fence post a hate crime.
• More lettuce in Senate dining room.
• Improve his public image by uploading youtube videos of him eating strawberries.
• Lay out on a log on a sunny day.
• Enjoy the fact that people making turtle jokes, keeps them from looking into important issues, like what a corrupt politician he really is.

Liz Cheney called for impeaching Trump based on the false information that he incited the Capital siege. Wanting to take action based false information? Liz Cheney is a real Dick.

@NeilNewsnetwork (GAB and Twitter)

Hey Frens!

I'm new to comedy writing, but I've been practicing my joke writing. Can I practice on you? Hope you enjoy (Did I mention, I was new to all this?)

Feel free to let me know any thoughts or suggestions you might have.

Thanks!

In his inauguration speech, Biden said he wanted to “unify” with Trump supporters. Later in his speech he called Trump supporters “white supremacists”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t wanting to unify with White supremacists make Joe Biden the racist?

Did you know that there are some on the Left who claim cartoon frogs are secret symbols of White Supremacy? This is bad news for Kermit, he’s been put on the no fly list. That’s right, Kermit's no longer allowed to eat his favorite food, flies.

Speaking of flies, we owe you all an apology, you tried to warn us about Mike Pence but we didn’t listen.

Stephen Colbert did an entire segment insulting Melania Trump. So that’s the new standard? being related to a politician you dislike makes you target for ridicule? OK, with that in mind, let me say Joe Biden’s dog “Major” is a lazy and a bad boy!

Since Ben Carson is no longer working for the Trump Administration, can he go back to being a world famous, genius, brain surgeon, philanthropist and Black? Or does he have to remain a white supremacist, nazi forever?

Idiot Trump’s Covid vaccination plan was only giving out 1 million vaccinations a day. Brainy Biden unveiled his plan to vaccinate 100 million Americans!!! (mumbled, in a low voice over the next 100 days).

Say what you want about Joe Biden, no one can take away his accomplishment of being America’s first President with dementia. Um, Sorry libs, we did that back in 1988.

7. (version 2)

Say what you want about Joe Biden, no one can take away his accomplishment of America’s first President with an IQ under 80. Um, Sorry libs, may I remind you of this quote “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.” -George W. Bush

Trump got impeached for making a phone call, and once Biden’s Jitterbug™ arrives, the Republicans are going to do the same thing to him.

As leader of the Senate Minority caucus, Mitch McConnell says he wants to focus on the following priorities in 2021

• Make putting a turtle on a fence post a hate crime.
• More lettuce in Senate dining room.
• Improve his public image by uploading youtube videos of him eating strawberries.
• Lay out on a log on a sunny day.
• Enjoy the fact that people making turtle jokes, keeps them from looking into important issues, like what a corrupt politician he really is.

Liz Cheney called for impeaching Trump based on the false information that he incited the Capital siege. Wanting to take action based false information? Liz Cheney is a real Dick.

@NeilNewsnetwork (GAB and Twitter)