I will preface, mental illness is extremely common. Brain chemistry is something we barely understand, and just like anything else, it's possible to lose the genetic lottery and get a head full of chronic depression. From a young age, I never felt quite right.

Growing up as a nerd in the early 90's as a nerd also sucked. And because I wanted nothing to do with real life, and would put all my time and effort into video games and the escape they provided, I had nothing to talk about other than said games to friends and family. (Also didn't help my parents provided just about every game system that came out up to the PS2. Yes, I even had a Sega Saturn and Dreamcast. So, throw being a bit spoiled into the mix.) Take away my escape, I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. (Will add, somehow was able to get a girlfriend and keep her a while in high school, so I suppose not all was lost then.)

But then, I graduated. Cool, no more school. But of course, in my pursuit of escape, I made zero plans about what I should do with my adult life. And worse... I knew my mom would never kick me out of the house, even if I decided to do nothing. That scared the shit out of me, and to my family's absolute confusion, I made a split decision restore the control and direction school provided: I enlisted in the Air Force.

Now before this, I never had a job, and made sure nobody else had to rely on me for very much beforehand. Getting to basic training in San Antonio, I had a (Insert"I immediately regret this decision!" meme here) moment. Somehow, even though I really couldn't take being wrong or others being upset with me, I stumbled through and made it into Big Blue (Normal Air Force.).

And holy shit, I was out of my league. Adversity? Responsibility?! ACCOUNTABILITY?!? What the fuck is this nonsense? Okay, I wasn't a bad kid and I didn't act out against authority, but this is where the victim complex I had my whole life (and had no idea I was doing it) begun to come out. Nothing was my fault, it was always somebody's else's fault. They didn't tell me. They didn't show me right. They should of stood up for me, etc. I was generally unliked, and considered a general annoyance.

It was strange, halfway through I began to take things seriously and became an NCO. I was the best at offering training and advice, but still couldn't bring myself to better myself. I felt, deep down, I was not worth investing in. And with that mindset, it was easy to relate to the "suffering" and "oppression" of others. They are just like me, always picked on, always blamed, never could appease the powers that be. We were kin, you see. Or, you know, so I thought.

Once you're miserable, the misery becomes "comfortable". And it becomes impossible to fix your family's problems. (I married by then to somebody who was just as broken as me, and we helped each other heal.) But I would let my own victim complex shift me to never being the instigating party in any situation. I finally had a string of leaders that sat me down and asked me "The fuck is the matter with you?" I was at that point where I would be in a crisis, I would decline help, and then claim nobody offered to help me. And at that point, I was forced to take a look at myself... acknowledge what my complex was doing to me and others. And it hurt. It was the worst few months of my life, breaking down who I am, and rebuilding myself as somebody who can admit a mistake and take blame (if warranted, I will lose my mind on people if it isn't).

I got out soon after, took a short break, and hit the private sector hard for contracting work. Less than a year after I started working, I moved into my forever home. It was surreal. I went from broke mediocre Air Force NCO to the American Dream, and it almost felt overnight. It was at that moment, I got really interested in politics again...

You know the saying, "Don't bullshit a bullshitter?" Holy hell I can sniff out a victim complex a mile away now, and all it does is fill me with rage. And that is, I suppose, my "red-pill" moment. I went from "victim" to "American Dream" in lightning fast time, when I decided to pull my head out of my ass.

And telling a professional victim they are doing it to them self, well, they can't comprehend it, because it is a delusional reality we build around ourselves. This is partially why they go around, trying to force others to think the same. Because if they aren't a victim, the only other possibility is maybe, well, they suck? They can't handle it. I couldn't handle it 10 years ago. But I had to make a conscious decision to unfuck myself, and I have little pity for those who continue to play themselves and everybody around them.

I'm not sure I could of done it ten years later. The internet, where you can find validation and affirmation for -anything-, is only better at doing it these days. (Gotta love them echo chambers.) So, long story short, anybody who goes out of their way to force everybody around them to change to make them feel better (this includes religion), they lack personal conviction and don't believe whatever they are looking to be validated, deep down.

That's about it, pedes. I will answer any questions commented here, even if this post is a few weeks old. Apologies if it's a bit rant-ey, I kinda typed this out in one sitting.

TL;DR - Dipshit spoiled kid with a victim complex joins military, somehow makes conscious decision to pull head out of ass, is now living the American Dream and is very protective of it.

I will preface, mental illness is extremely common. Brain chemistry is something we barely understand, and just like anything else, it's possible to lose the genetic lottery and get a head full of chronic depression. From a young age, I never felt quite right.

Growing up as a nerd in the early 90's as a nerd also sucked. And because I wanted nothing to do with real life, and would put all my time and effort into video games and the escape they provided, I had nothing to talk about other than said games to friends and family. (Also didn't help my parents provided just about every game system that came out up to the PS2. Yes, I even had a Sega Saturn and Dreamcast. So, throw being a bit spoiled into the mix.) Take away my escape, I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. (Will add, somehow was able to get a girlfriend and keep her a while in high school, so I suppose not all was lost then.)

But then, I graduated. Cool, no more school. But of course, in my pursuit of escape, I made zero plans about what I should do with my adult life. And worse... I knew my mom would never kick me out of the house, even if I decided to do nothing. That scared the shit out of me, and to my family's absolute confusion, I made a split decision restore the control and direction school provided: I enlisted in the Air Force.

Now before this, I never had a job, and made sure nobody else had to rely on me for very much beforehand. Getting to basic training in San Antonio, I had a (Insert"I immediately regret this decision!" meme here) moment. Somehow, even though I really couldn't take being wrong or others being upset with me, I stumbled through and made it into Big Blue (Normal Air Force.).

And holy shit, I was out of my league. Adversity? Responsibility?! ACCOUNTABILITY?!? What the fuck is this nonsense? Okay, I wasn't a bad kid and I didn't act out against authority, but this is where the victim complex I had my whole life (and had no idea I was doing it) begun to come out. Nothing was my fault, it was always somebody's else's fault. They didn't tell me. They didn't show me right. They should of stood up for me, etc. I was generally unliked, and considered a general annoyance.

It was strange, halfway through I began to take things seriously and became an NCO. I was the best at offering training and advice, but still couldn't bring myself to better myself. I felt, deep down, I was not worth investing in. And with that mindset, it was easy to relate to the "suffering" and "oppression" of others. They are just like me, always picked on, always blamed, never could appease the powers that be. We were kin, you see. Or, you know, so I thought.

Once you're miserable, the misery becomes "comfortable". And it becomes impossible to fix you family's problems. (I married by then to somebody who was just as broken as me, and we helped each other heal.) But I would let my own victim complex shift me to never being the instigating party in any situation. I finally had a string of leaders that sat me down and asked me "The fuck is the matter with you?" I was at that point where I would be in a crisis, I would decline help, and then claim nobody offered to help me. And at that point, I was forced to take a look at myself... acknowledge what my complex was doing to me and others. And it hurt. It was the worst few months of my life, breaking down who I am, and rebuilding myself as somebody who can admit a mistake and take blame (if warranted, I will lose my mind on people if it isn't).

I got out soon after, took a short break, and hit the private sector hard for contracting work. Less than a year after I started working, I moved into my forever home. It was surreal. I went from broke mediocre Air Force NCO to the American Dream, and it almost felt overnight. It was at that moment, I got really interested in politics again...

You know the saying, "Don't bullshit a bullshitter?" Holy hell I can sniff out a victim complex a mile away now, and all it does is fill me with rage. And that is, I suppose, my "red-pill" moment. I went from "victim" to "American Dream" in lightning fast time, when I decided to pull my head out of my ass.

And telling a professional victim they are doing it to them self, well, they can't comprehend it, because it is a delusional reality we build around ourselves. This is partially why they go around, trying to force others to think the same. Because if they aren't a victim, the only other possibility is maybe, well, they suck? They can't handle it. I couldn't handle it 10 years ago. But I had to make a conscious decision to unfuck myself, and I have little pity for those who continue to play themselves and everybody around them.

I'm not sure I could of done it ten years later. The internet, where you can find validation and affirmation for -anything-, is only better at doing it these days. (Gotta love them echo chambers.) So, long story short, anybody who goes out of their way to force everybody around them to change to make them feel better (this includes religion), they lack personal conviction and don't believe whatever they are looking to be validated, deep down.

That's about it, pedes. I will answer any questions commented here, even if this post is a few weeks old. Apologies if it's a bit rant-ey, I kinda typed this out in one sitting.

TL;DR - Dipshit spoiled kid with a victim complex joins military, somehow makes conscious decision to pull head out of ass, is now living the American Dream and is very protective of it.