2
CaptainThiefDotWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

What is it with odd hat sizes?!

3
CaptainThiefDotWin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Whoever wrote that headline will be fired.

For making a hit piece on Melania? No.

For forgetting always preface jill biden with “Dr.”

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CaptainThiefDotWin 75 points ago +76 / -1

Trump’s battlebot MAGA-tron is rampaging through DC, burninating the corruption out of the country.

Some misguided guy: “Stop, Trump! What about the optics?!”

Trump: “Oh, yes, you’re right!”

A button is pressed and several OPTICal lasers come out and magnify the destruction 4 fold.

3
CaptainThiefDotWin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Siiiigh

I really got annoyed when someone would request a sticky in the past. Now I’m here going “can this pretty please be stickied?”

2
CaptainThiefDotWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

Makes sense, it’s so stupid it’s painful to read. Sometimes (like once every two months) I read it to remind myself we really are up against evil here.

2
CaptainThiefDotWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

On the first day twelve-days-of-hell the deep state sent to me: A faggot (graham) threatening patriots

5
CaptainThiefDotWin 5 points ago +5 / -0

Does anyone actually think this is real?

Hint: it’s not

5
CaptainThiefDotWin 5 points ago +5 / -0

Wine = grapes

Fox & grapes

Eric Trump = sly fox

Got it

9
CaptainThiefDotWin 9 points ago +9 / -0

We don’t defend a lone gunman shooting at random innocents by saying “better let him keep going, we don’t want to infringe on his second amendment rights”

Why the HELL do we allow the media to destroy lives, foster communism and tell lies “so we don’t infringe on their first amendment rights”?!

1
CaptainThiefDotWin 1 point ago +1 / -0

I had to look up what eye teeth were, I could only think of the boss enemy from Super Metroid, Phantoom, who has teeth in his eye.

15
CaptainThiefDotWin 15 points ago +15 / -0

First tweet: I want to go Second tweet: I HAVE to go, now to figure out how Third tweet: Already pulled the trigger on buying my transport there Forth tweet: Ask myself: "Why isn't EVERYone going?"

1
CaptainThiefDotWin 1 point ago +1 / -0

Democrat party dies Comes back as a zombie Bites Republican party Now they're both zombies

2
CaptainThiefDotWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

Pence - Keeper of the Tesla's Arc, controller of Levin and and whisperer of the electron.

4
CaptainThiefDotWin 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lol! First hearty laugh of the day

1
CaptainThiefDotWin 1 point ago +1 / -0

Good news; there was an article in the federalist that covered a study: basically, have the kid detox completely from twitter/tumblr/facebook for two weeks and all the feelings of trans goes away.

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CaptainThiefDotWin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Don’t mess with ENTPs, they’re good debaters. Though they’d like to debate as they consider it sport.

3
CaptainThiefDotWin 3 points ago +3 / -0

Thanks! At first it was a matter of "well, here's hoping I can go" to now "I HAVE to go, it's of utmost importance!" since... the closest thing we have to a General (Trump) just gave us an order. Aside from voting, he's never really asked much from me, so I feel addtionally obliged here.

3
CaptainThiefDotWin 3 points ago +3 / -0

My tree is also wearing a MAGA hat, it's a great idea

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