Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson Tonight. Tonight, we're wooing MAGA patriots as hard as we can. You see, I'm an actor. I can easily vacillate back and forth between supporting the President and telling MAGA republicans to "take the L". I can even manage to work in a jab at social media (the biggest competitor for our fake news). The Murdoch family pays me very well for this. Goodnight, everyone and thank you for watching Cucker Carlson Tonight.
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson Tonight! Can you prove this "popcorn" thing? I mean... Really? ... ... ... HUH! (Intense squinting is taking place). Goodnight everyone!
Good evening and Welcome to Cucker Carlson tonight! We here at the Murdoch Family Network find your honest criticism to be deeply offensive. We just want our audience to know that (squints really hard). Good night, Chy-na!
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson tonight! Shills and cucks are what our democracy is all about! Goodnight!
Yes, NTD! I like it! Very anti-Chy-na!
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson tonight! Let's not get carried away by "far-right conspiracy theories". Black Rifle Coffee might be hypocritically opposed to the Second Amendment, but isn't attacking the "Constitution" what our "democracy" is all about (squints at camera)??? Goodnight, everyone! Thank you for watching Cucker Carlson tonight! I'm off to collect my Murdoch check.
They aren't bad folks, folks! xD
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson Tonight! We here at Fux News find the "deport" button to be deeply offensive (intense squinting). I'd just like our audience to know that (squinting intensifies). Goodnight!
I just need more of that Murdoch Family money (it's the reason I can't say "Soros" on air). xD
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson Tonight. We at the Murdoch Family's Network find your comment deeply offensive. I just want our audience to know that. Goodnight!
lol Tough "stitch", bro, though "Now This" is total shit, we know Cucker is also total shit. "I don't see how this reveals Tucker to be a shill." It reveals him becoming extraordinarily irrational and refusing to air when faced with the obvious: Cucker Carlson is employed by the Murdoch Family to do Murdoch Family things. We don't need a revolver with Cucker's fingerprints in order to know these things are true. In fact, we don't even need an undercover video to know these things are true.
Ohhhhhhhh, so THIS is why guests on Fux News can't say, "George Soros". Huh. (squints at camera).
Would you care for a foot job? Because I know this Biden girl.......
For starters, that mean lady, Sydney Powell, claimed voter fraud was real, but the Murdoch Family assures me this is absolutely false. You may believe we've said otherwise on this show in the past. I assure you: you're mistaken. I know, because I was paid very well to read these lines. I just want our audience to know this.
Good evening! We wanted to know if voter fraud was real, so we asked a bunch of democrats. Invariably, they responded, "NO!" I just want our audience to know this. Also, Sydney Powell, I'm squinting at you really hard for not unmasking your witnesses for Antifa on my show.
This is a real photo. I just want our audience to be aware of this (squints at camera really hard).
Text message the material to your friends and family. I've only seen one instance of cellphone OS or cellphone carriers possibly censoring text messages. You could always ask people if your message got through or test when you have two phones nearby.
Also, please stop watching my show (I'm now the Murdoch Family dog).
I like to eat dog poop. :D
Sydney Powell was very mean. She didn't take my interrogation of her seriously and failed to disclose critical details of her plans on my defunct globalist network. Even worse, she protected sworn witnesses from Antifa's death threats. I just want our audience to know that (squints at camera).
She was very mean on my show and refused to unmask her witnesses so Antifa could target them. D: The Murdoch family specifically instructed me to get her to unmask the witnesses. Orange lady bad!
Yea, but Sydney Powell was very mean to me and refused to unmask over a hundred affidavits on my show. I just want our audience to know this.
Good evening and welcome to Cucker Carlson Tonight! I got paid to help rig the most critical presidential election in a century and a half by pushing dishonest, manipulative information to millions of American patriots and don't you fuckin' forget it! I just want our audience to know this (squinting for awhile).... Goodnight, America!