Last name King...
The jokes write themselves.
Well take em, only after docking a days pay for napping on the job!
So if I don’t call someone ‘tree’ it will upset them to the point of suicide?? (According to the text)
Maybe, if you are THAT fragile, you should die off...
Besides, tree seems awful phalic. Bush would be gentler.
“Failing to live in harmony with nature...”
Creates a potion to thwart germs from doing what comes naturally.
Isn’t everything a doctor does, kinda go against nature?
People used to die in their 30s and 40s in large numbers...
Climate racism. The fact that most brown people live in hot climates so the global climate shift hit them harder than the Vikings or whitey with A/C
It wasn’t worded exactly like this, but you get the general idea.
I’ll be king of the road in my 69 dodge van!!
That’s a blurry photo...
The picture used in the article said he was at an anti gun rally.
You fuckers couldn’t take a stab at it??
Whew. Thanx Tater-in-Chief.
Me and Mrs Fourtyandfourtyfive make under the tax threshold.
Gonna need it for $5 a gal gas and $11.99 gal of milk.
This pisses off my black friends.
One in particular told me some mornings he hates looking at “brown skin in the mirror”
He said it links him with the saggin pants crowd, baby daddies and government benefit sponges. People assume the worst in him because of skin color.
Dude is sharp, works hard. Hates N-words. (He gets mad when I edit myself with the phrase N-word.)
I’m totally gonna try and say her name next time I sneeze!
I have no problem with this.
Don’t ask the same from me.
Well get along just fine.
Edit: Plus it helps me to identify people I don’t think are hitting on all cylinders.
Gdammit Ford!! Get yo shit together!!
Bought a Fiesta with a Mexican built Automatic Manual (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean) took three trips back to dealer before I was blessed to talk to a real transmission mechanic that rebuilt the thing with quality parts.
He said the stock one were made out of cheap glass. Absolute garbage.
Burned up a whole summer in my teens because of Mexico parts. Kept putting on crap alternators on Nanas 75 T-bird. She yell at my dad who then took it out on me. She made him do it with same results.
Dad investigates. Sees repeat mexican alternators. Demands American. Receives AC/Delco. Nanas back burning up the road.
I still won’t buy any Mexican part that uses electricity. AC or DC. Just not reliable.
What kind of ice cream??
I mean if you talking about one of those zombie Sonic the Hedgehog bars of an ice cream truck, I’ll pass.
Stone Cold? Lock and Load!!
(I realize the store is Cold Stone but that wouldn’t rhyme in my JOKE!!)
Edit: ...and I would definitely go to an ice cream shop that Steve Austin owned. 3:16!!
Talking to the choir.
Was sent to promo board while on deployment to GITMO. Solider on a Navy base. Out of my element for sure.
Being close to the ocean the Oxygen was rich compared to Ft Lewis WA. Highest PT score ever. Missed the max by 1 damn sit-up. Ran the two mile in 13:20. Felt like a gazelle.
Anyway. The board is thrown together with 1st Sgts from the different units and the Command Sgt Major overseeing. One acting E7 and female tried to use trick questions on all the men. The two women (according to Top later) she helped with small hints. I was last and even had a warning about her and still missed. (Scored 197)
She bragged on the women but one barely passed the PT test and the other was a do-over for “medical”
We need a revival that puts weapons in the hands of Christians.
If they had the ability to defend from these muzzie extremists and stack them like cord wood. Would probably chill them on being so rapey!
If you flee blue states for Bama. Leave old left voting habits there.
Bama is on or close to a tipping point. It’s red is fading and trying to push to purple.
The biggest cities love Fed bail out money, tax dollar giveaway programs for children and minorities. Good ol boys in Montgomery love those pork projects conceived behind closed doors.
Good grief. Look at the mask map. Every southern state has said ‘no masks’. Kay Ivy thinks they are the bees knees!
Do you know what the enemies of this nation would do to female prisoners of war??? It would be far worse than death.
When I joined Active Duty Army, 18 y/o males had to do minimum of 42 pushups. Women same age:13
Ladies, If you join, (I would advise not to) maintain peak physical conditioning, study on warfare and keep yourself sharp. You may get in a hot zone and need to evade/escape. Come home alive.
You see what Alqueda and ISIS does to men.
Women, you rarely hear from again.
Hahahaha Hahah
Babylon Bee is killing it lately....
...What?
If you teach lgbt history using common core, is 60% an A+??
I used to hit at least two a day for years.
Since Coke said fuck off whitey I haven’t drank one since.
Probably won’t drink one at gunpoint or in the middle of the desert.
At least the back boobs are in a bra...
Jesus would have been a .50 Cal man if they had been available (Or Holy Handgrenade.)
He did tell people to have a yard sale and buy a sword.
He got hands on when money changers insulted the Fathers House. Grabbed a whip also.
The Lamb went peacefully, until someone went too far and needed a whippin’!
Ask Sodom and Gamora or the Philistines how ignoring The Word works out. Little worse than a AR15
Have a hard time giving sympathy for the aunt in pink protesting police and also needing police to help her gun shot nephew.
Floyd O.D.ed. That cop didn’t kill him. He committed suicide.
Is this an edited clip from Mrs Doubtfire??
It’s Robin Williams in that photo! Must have been in the cutting room floor...